Principal cancels honors night to spare kids feelings

Post Reply New Topic

honors would best be kept private.

Why? Why not publically reward somebody for doing very well? Should there be no valedictorian or salutatorian in graduating classes or no public handing out of awards?

What do you think of the All Stars in kids and high school sports? When my kids played Dixie Youth baseball and softball they had to let everyone who wanted to sign up on the team and they pretty much had to let them play other than the being at bat, which everyone gets to do, but at the end of the season they pick All Stars teams. Everyone knows who is on All Stars, and those teams play extra games that they announce. The people on All Stars get trophys too. My kids never made all stars but they weren't upset over it.

What about school sports teams? Kids try out for those and not everyone gets picked. It's announced (and pretty obvious) who gets picked so that implies publically that they are athletically better than the other kids. Should everyone who tries out for a high school team be allowed to be on it? What if it ruins their chances of winning?

There used to be this rule at my kids high school that cheerleaders had to be able to do a back handspring. That was just a rule for years and every girl who tried out knew this. One year some girl's mother had a fit (helicopter parent?) and went up to the school and carried on and they changed the rule to shut her up and now you don't have to be able to do the back handspring, and they got rid of the difficult routines, thereby negating all the hard work done by the other girls for all those years. When this happened almost all of the cheerleaders quit, even the seniors. They were left with a very few girls, one who couldn't do a back handspring, and then they recruited the other, not so good girls.

This isn't how those things should be. Competition is part of life. Somebody will always be better than you, somebody will always be worse than you. The real world is not going to stop being competitive because somebody's feelings might get hurt. Somebody's helicopter mother going to their grown kid's boss and telling him that he's not being fair by not giving the kid a raise/account/assignment/etc won't do anything except get him fired or laughed at, and that kind of behavior during school years, protecting little Johnny and little Julie's feelings about everything, does nothing more than keep them unprepared for the real world.

Using the logic that the kids who didn't make the same grades as the honor's kids would be devastated, we could say that there shouldn't be a public high school graduation because kids who didn't pass or who couldn't graduate for some reason would be "devastated". Using the touchy feely method we could keep graduation secret and not give those who worked hard to achieve something any credit at all. Maybe we should just promote and graduate all kids, even those who can't do the work, because otherwise they might end up with self esteem issues.

Why? Why should not our best and brightest be held up for admiration. They might serve to inspire those who are behind.

ruveyn

I can give you two reasons

1. No one is entitled to anything. The world owes you nothing. Just because one does well at something does not mean that they will always be honored and rewarded. If you are rewarded and honored then appreciate it and be happy. If you're not then it is not the end of the world. Personally, I won't be broken up about it.

2. Life is not fair. Things will not always go your way. I believe our wise member Rueven said "s**t Happens."



Well, life is not fair. Like Charles Sykes who wrote the book "50 rules kids won't learn in school" says you have to get used to it.



Well, like I said life is not fair and you have to get used to it. You're not entitled to anything and the world doesn't owe you anything either. Just because someone works hard they will be rewarded. If they are rewarded then that is great and one should appreciate the award. If not, then don't get upset about it. If you feel you deserve a reward or your kids deserve one then reward them and yourself.

The world is not going to stop spinning on its axis to reward every achievement that you and your kids have made.



It is exactly how things should be because you are not owed anything and life is not fair.

Last edited by cubedemon6073 on 23 Mar 2013, 1:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It seems like you're devastated. Well, you will have to get over your feelings because life is not fair.

Because you are wise and have great wisdom when you said that "life is not fair" and "s**t happens."

You're right!! !

I'm far from devastated. I'm against canceling the honors night. I know life isn't fair. I have absolutely no problem with kids (or adults) who do better than other kids, to get the awards or recognition instead of those who don't do as well.

I simply think that the principal is cheating the honor students out of something they were expecting for no good reason at all. He's also doing a disservice to the kids who didn't get the honors because it's teaching them that self esteem should rely on the fact that no one is singled out for good work and that everyone should be the same.

It's flat out wrong to do to the honors kids. It's another symptom of the touchy feely "lets not ever allow anyone to be better or worse than anyone else because that wouldn't be fair" mentality. That kind of mentality is what fosters the lack of work ethic and ambition in young adults. Without competition, we become complacent and since it doesn't matter if we do outstanding work, lets just settle for mediocre. Too much of that principals bs reasoning will just end up turning out a class of kids who strive for mediocracy, at most.

The only thing the kids earned was the piece of paper that says they graduated with a diploma and the knowledge that is in their heads. How do you figure that they are owed anything else other than that? It would be awesome if the principal did an honors night and gave special recognitions for those who have achieved in a superior way. The students are not owed a honors night. In life, one is not owed recognition or respect for anything you do that is considered great. It is awesome if you do receive it and it is a great feeling. Believe me, I know.

By your persistence I have to ask, how do you accept your own beliefs that no one is owed anything and life is not fair? It seems like you do believe that some people are owed some things and life should be fair. By Ruveyn's affirmation of what you state and your complaint he believes the same thing as well. Is this true? This to me implies both you and Ruveyn by the merit of your complaint(s) have an inconsistency to your beliefs? Am I correct? If I am not where is my rationale off?

If the parents and other people believe there should be a honors night why don't you all organize your own honors night and recognize them there instead of complaining of how certain kids were cheated of something from someone whom does not owe this to them in the first place?

On the other hand, the principal has not made his case. Just because his logic is based upon erroneous premises does not mean that what you believe is not erroneous as well. Either some fairness should exist and the world does owe people some things or your whole complaint is without merit. Do you believe these kids are owed honors recognition or do you stand by your beliefs that they are not owed anything by anyone including honors recognition by this principal?

My complaint against him is not that he is being unfair but his reasoning makes no sense. I just want to understand his reasoning and where he is coming from. I am not even upset with him in the slightest. You on the other hand are upset that these kids are not getting what you think they're owed, what their parents think they're owed or what the kids think they're owed. I may be misinterpreting you because I don't understand your rationale whatsoever. From my perspective it is inconsistent.

No, you aren't understanding me at all.

They are not owed an honor night. If there had never been an honor night then there is no reason to create one. What bothers me is that there had been one, it was a tradition at the school, the kids were probably looking forward to it and this guy canceled it because he feels that it would upset other kids who didn't get honors. That is what bothers me.

It's the fact that he cancelled a traditional event over some ridiculous idea of his own that bothers me. Kids worked hard for those honors all year, they fully expected the recognition that others had gotten for the same thing, that the school routinely gave out and now they don't get it because the principal is worried that it could upset the kids who weren't as smart.

That is the problem I have with this. I'm not saying they need to create an honors night in other schools, I'm saying that to take something expected away for a ridiculous reason is wrong.

Why does it seem our culture is so absolutely hell-bent on rewarding and edifying mediocrity? Think about it: we award all kids trophies and ribbons so they don't feel bad (undermining the concept of achievement), well tell our peers "good job" for doing what is expected of them(chores, homework, etc.) or for completing a simple task that anyone can perform, we do our children's assignments for them, all so our precious little pumpkins are spared the harsh sting of disappointment(?!). Why do we have to vilify achievement and hard work? I am tired of this overly PC society...

Note that this is not to say that we should engage in some perverse "hero worship" of those who excel (think how football players are treated in the United States) either.

In a civilization that regards its philosophers as being too abstruse and its plumbers being too crude, neither its pipes nor theories will hold water. (Not original with me).

ruveyn

I do agree that the principal's reasoning makes no sense. I wish he would explain his reasoning and his logic further. Personally, instead of trying to protect kids from disappointment and the bad things I ask why not teach them how to deal with life's disappointments and things that can go wrong. Why not teach them techniques to deal with failure as well? If I was able to make suggestions to the principal I would give these suggestions. I would ask him to explain his reasoning further. I am thinking of emailing the principal myself to try to understand his point of view. It doesn't matter what the principal's reasoning is. Does this principal owe these student's anything other than the diploma they have earned?

I do accept it is true that they worked hard for those honors. They expect recognition for their achievements. I still am not following why you would even have the problem based upon your beliefs and values. Wouldn't this be a lesson to students that life is not fair and no one is owed anything? Why even make a fuss? Why not just accept this proves the unfairness of life? Why do you demand fairness in this case when you believe life is unfair? Why does your belief that life is unfair go out the window in this case?

You have a more conservative mindset but yet you do not apply it in this case. To me, this is inconsistent and I do not understand. Let's take this logic to its conclusion. By this logic, one should be owed a job upon graduating college. Why can't one say a student earns a job by graduating college?

What exactly is the difference between these two scenarios? Why isn't a student owed a job upon graduation of college or high school but yet he is owed honors recognition upon graduation? There are plenty of students who feel they did earn a job upon graduation. Isn't honors recognition a privilege a principal can revoke at anytime? Students probably feel they did earn honors recognition like you said. Fundamentally, what exactly is the difference here? I see inconsistency of values and standards. Literally, I do not understand.

Why doesn't this belief that life is unfair apply across the board including this situation?

Well, life is not fair and s**t happens! Isn't that correct Ruveyn?

In 4th grade, I participated in a math tournament. It was my team of 3 against other schools in my area. We won 1st place and I still have my little trophy. It's one of the only things from my childhood that makes me feel good. It reminds me of the good times instead of the bad. But, had I grown up 10 years later, I doubt if I would have received said trophy, and that makes me sad. I've rarely been recognized for my achievements, but when I am, it encourages me to KEEP working hard and improving.

I have a natural tendency for self-improvement, but recognition helps, too.

I doubt if the other kids were jealous over my math trophy. They probably thought it was incredibly nerdy. They were more interested in competing in their own interests. This notion that someone is going to feel bad if the other person is rewarded is insane.

Yes, I felt bad when students were given certificates for "perfect attendance" as that was something completely unattainable for me because I was sick all the time. But my math award was unattainable for most of them. I accepted that. Kids need to respect what other people do well in ADDITION to what they do well. Diversity is GOOD. Everyone has a unique skill set. That's the way it should be, otherwise nothing would get done.

I don't like cyborg uprising any more than you but he didn't say life is fair.