Another Suicide brought on by bullying....

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history_of_psychiatry
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24 Apr 2009, 3:53 pm

I wish the bullies were instead the ones to commit suicide.

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gina-ghettoprincess
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24 Apr 2009, 3:55 pm

I get told that it's my fault I am getting bullied, Mum says I'm not even trying to fit in. And it does make me feel suicidal at times. I wouldn't actually kill myself, though.

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history_of_psychiatry
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24 Apr 2009, 3:59 pm

gina-ghettoprincess wrote:

I get told that it's my fault I am getting bullied, Mum says I'm not even trying to fit in. And it does make me feel suicidal at times. I wouldn't actually kill myself, though.

No offense but your mother sounds like a somewhat cold person. Don't listen to her.

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gina-ghettoprincess
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24 Apr 2009, 5:06 pm

history_of_psychiatry wrote:

gina-ghettoprincess wrote:

I get told that it's my fault I am getting bullied, Mum says I'm not even trying to fit in. And it does make me feel suicidal at times. I wouldn't actually kill myself, though.

No offense but your mother sounds like a somewhat cold person. Don't listen to her.

She is, yes. She doesn't actually care that I'm getting bullied, she only cares that I try to refuse to go to school and that makes her late for work. Hence her "solution" being to take away my computer, that way I go to bed earlier, then I get up earlier, then I get to school on time. What the hell does THAT have to do with getting bullied?!

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starvingartist
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24 Apr 2009, 5:14 pm

iMark wrote:

ADoyle wrote:

iMark wrote:

i don't understand it was suicide by hanging not bullying

I think it means that the victim suffered bullying to the point where it led to the suicide.

what if the victim suffered getting fired, would the person who fired him be responsible?

what if the victim suffered getting dumped by his girlfriend, would the ex-girlfriend be responsible?

what if the victim suffered getting a bad grade on a test, would the teacher who gave the grade be responsible?

the victim chose suicide when there were other alternatives. no one is responsible except the victim. suicide is the only time when blaming the victim is right.

are you seriously trying to put the blame on an 11 YEAR OLD CHILD!! he was just a baby, for christ's sake--at that age they can barely comprehend mortality....all he would have understood was that he wanted his pain to stop and that was the only way he could think to do it.

i just can't believe you said that. disgusting, blaming the child.

iMark
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24 Apr 2009, 5:42 pm

starvingartist wrote:

at the risk of spamming i have to repeat myself here.

iMark wrote:

yet he only believed that he could not stop the abuse. i wonder if he reported the abuse to his teachers or parents. or did he tell the school administrators or police. did those people tell him that there was nothing that they could do? or did they simply tell him that he had somehow asked for it? why did no responsible adult notice what was going on and intervene?

no. it is either only the victims fault or it is the fault of everyone involved including those who could have or should have known and who could have or should have done something about it.

i think the poor kid felt abandoned by everybody he knew and turned to the only option that he thought remained. suicide.

now who taught him that suicide was an option? that is the person to blame.

if anyone is to blame, it is either the one person who committed suicide or anybody and everybody that could have or should have intervened to stop the bullying including the bullies the teachers the school administrators the police or the parents. especially the parents. where were they all this time?

sinsboldly
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24 Apr 2009, 5:52 pm

iMark wrote:

the victim could not stand the abuse. who can?.

well, everyone that is reading this has stood the abuse. Even the worst of bullying we have withstood, we have withstood indifferent or abusive parents, siblings and classmates, teachers, doctors, hooligans on the street corners. Each and every one of us has stood the abuse and are still here.

There are a lot of us that are not here, and those have succumbed to what ever it is that seperates us from them. But we are the ones that stood the abuse and still stand.

I am just as active in the 'I want to die' threads as anyone, but dagnabbit! we are still here!

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kittenmeow
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24 Apr 2009, 10:35 pm

iMark wrote:

of course they're not the same as bullying. only the results are the same. suicide.

the victim's family blames the bullies. would they also blame the employer, the ex-girlfriend, or the teacher in the other examples? maybe. but the point is that they do not blame the victim who is also the perpetrator of his own murder or themselves for not protecting their child.

the person responsible for the child's death is the child himself. bullying was just an excuse.

That sounds like something people who side with sociopathic behavior often say to belittle victims. I see you have no inclination to see how bullying could lead to that.

kittenmeow
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24 Apr 2009, 10:39 pm

iMark wrote:

ShadesOfMe wrote:

I agree. All those things are completely different. Bullying is abuse. It's wrong. He couldn't stand the abuse, and he had no way of getting it to stop. It's the bullys' faults. They drove him to this with their incessant cruelty.

bullying is abuse and it is wrong i agree.

the victim could not stand the abuse. who can?

yet he only believed that he could not stop the abuse. i wonder if he reported the abuse to his teachers or parents. or did he tell the school administrators or police. did those people tell him that there was nothing that they could do? or did they simply tell him that he had somehow asked for it? why did no responsible adult notice what was going on and intervene?

no. it is either only the victims fault or it is the fault of everyone involved including those who could have or should have known and who could have or should have done something about it.

i think the poor kid felt abandoned by everybody he knew and turned to the only option that he thought remained. suicide.

now who taught him that suicide was an option? that is the person to blame.

No the ones to blame are the bullies. Who taught the bullies how to bully? Should they be blamed too?

It's this kind of mentality that is trying to twist everything around into blaming victims and sheltering bullies as faultless.

I do agree that adults in the school system need to do something about this. Bullying has always been around but now if you fight back against bullies you are at fault. If you are bullied and suffer you are put on drugs. See how all of this gets turned around with no support to those that are bullied?

Society as a whole has turned into this and the more bullies are allowed to torment others with no punishment, the more bullies will do it.

gina-ghettoprincess
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25 Apr 2009, 7:16 am

kittenmeow wrote:

iMark wrote:

ShadesOfMe wrote:

I agree. My mother has also told me that bullying people who are different is just what normal people do. How have I survived 13 years living with this woman, seriously?!

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25 Apr 2009, 12:39 pm

When I first read the story, it brought me to tears and I almost NEVER cry. It hit too close to home for me. I was heavily bullied around that age and was also thinking of suicide. In fact by 13 years of age, because of bullying, I had to be hospitalized for a psychotic episode and suicidal ideation. What a terrible age. And today I am bullied on the Internet. I will never escape the pain. People are so mean. Bullies should DIE. That is all.

Xelebes
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25 Apr 2009, 1:07 pm

Tori-kun wrote:

The thing I don't understand about bullying is . . . what do they gain from it?

Amusement and catharsis.

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25 Apr 2009, 1:08 pm

FireBird wrote:

i think the important thing to take away from all of this is the knowledge that those of us who have been badly bullied (my school years were hell) are not alone. we don't have to feel powerless anymore because we can find understanding and empathy in each other. we can offer each other the compassion that we so sorely missed when we were kids. this is a power that bullies can never understand, that only we have.

TitusLucretiusCarus
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25 Apr 2009, 3:47 pm

Quote:

So far your posts in this thread have been fairly offensive so far as I'm concerned. Please don't add ignorant to that. For your benefit I shall quote the OP, read carefully:

Quote:

The family of an 11-year-old Georgia boy found hanged to death in his bedroom closet said that school bullies drove the child to suicide, MyFOXAtlanta.com reported.

Relatives of Jaheem Herrera, a fifth-grader at Dunaire Elementary School in DeKalb, reportedly complained to school officials that he was being repeatedly teased and threatened by classmates......

I'm guessing from your post that you have a specific moral/ethical problem with suicide or perhaps just this one? could you explain? I'm not certain you need to be 'taught' suicide is an option.

Correct me if I'm wrong but you seem to be trying to absolve those who have perptrated the bullying here, the 'parallels' you draw are laughably weak.

Quote:

the victim chose suicide when there were other alternatives. no one is responsible except the victim. suicide is the only time when blaming the victim is right.

Oh me oh my, you did not post that.
I'm not sure trolling is acceptable on any forum. Worked though. You have my attention. And you have made me very p***ed.

iMark
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25 Apr 2009, 7:58 pm

i am sorry. i did not know in advance that it is wrong to blame anyone except the bullies. not the parents. not the teachers. not the school administrators. and not any one else who could have or should have stepped in and put a stop to it.

i posted because people were blaming only the bullies, when there is more than enough blame for everyone involved to have a share.

why did nobody else notice that an 11 year old boy was being bullied? and if they did, why did they pretend that nothing was wrong and do nothing about it?

i have been bullied. i fought back because no one else would fight for me. not the teachers etc. most of those who bullied me are now dead or in jail. nobody bullies me now because i stand up to them and give it right back measure for measure. they do not mess with my friends either.

bullying is bad.

looking the other way when bullying happens to someone else is worse.

TitusLucretiusCarus
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26 Apr 2009, 3:28 am

my problem was that you appeared to be blaming the victim

Quote:

it is either only the victims fault or it is the fault of everyone involved including those who could have or should have known and who could have or should have done something about it.

Quote:

the victim chose suicide when there were other alternatives. no one is responsible except the victim. suicide is the only time when blaming the victim is right.

I think that makes my point quite succinctly.

Quote:

sorry. i did not know in advance that it is wrong to blame anyone except the bullies. not the parents. not the teachers. not the school administrators. and not any one else who could have or should have stepped in and put a stop to it.

Well, the bullies are a fairly active part of the bullying process. I can't find where anyone has said the people you name aren't responsible so you'll have to quote.

Quite a few people on this forum are, I imagine, aware of the blind eye many people in a position of responsibility will turn, if not participate in the bullying themselves.

I'm glad you felt able to fight back against those who bullied you. It seems in this case the victim may not have been in the correct state of mind to defend himself. Seeing as he had threats made against him, i imagine he feared violence would make a clearly awful situation worse.

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