Judge Blocks Woman From Living With Lesbian Partner

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A couple of weeks or so ago, a local nurse around here left her child who was just under a year old in the care of her boyfriend while she went to work. Guess what happened? The boyfriend murdered the child.

Only allowing it if they're married is completely arbitrary. An unmarried couple living in the same house is no different from a married couple. Also just to add to that, the couple spoken about in the article is a homosexual couple and from what I understand, homosexual marriages aren't recognised in that state.

Six-year-old Oscar Jimenez Jr. was beaten to death in California, then buried under fertilizer and cement. Two-year-old Devon Shackleford was drowned in an Arizona swimming pool. Jayden Cangro, also 2, died after being thrown across a room in Utah.

In each case, as in many others every year, the alleged or convicted perpetrator had been the boyfriend of the child's mother — men thrust into father-like roles which they tragically failed to embrace.

Every family is different. Some single mothers bring men into their lives who lovingly help raise children when the biological father is gone for good.

Nonetheless, many scholars and social workers who monitor America's families see the abusive-boyfriend syndrome as part of a broader, deeply worrisome trend. They note an ever-increasing share of America's children grow up in homes without both biological parents, and say the risk of child abuse is markedly higher in the nontraditional family structures.

“This is the dark underbelly of cohabitation,” said Brad Wilcox, a University of Virginia sociologist. “Cohabitation has become quite common, and most people think, 'What's the harm?' The harm is we're increasing a pattern of relationships that's not good for children.''

...

* Children living in households with unrelated adults are nearly 50 times as likely to die of inflicted injuries as children living with two biological parents, according to a study of Missouri data published in the journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics in 2005.

* Children living in stepfamilies or with single parents are at higher risk of physical or sexual assault than children living with two biological or adoptive parents, according to several studies co-authored by David Finkelhor, director of the University of New Hampshire's Crimes Against Children Research Center.

* Girls whose parents divorce face significantly higher risk of sexual assault, whether they live with their mother or father, according to research by Robin Wilson, a family law professor at Washington and Lee University.

...

Census data makes clear that family patterns have changed dramatically in recent decades as cohabitation and single-parenthood became common. Thirty years ago, nearly 80 percent of America's children lived with both parents. Now, only two-thirds of them do. Of all families with children, nearly 29 percent are now one-parent families, up from 17 percent in 1977.

No biological connection

The net result is a sharp increase in households with a statistically greater potential for instability, along with the likelihood that adults and children will reside in them who have no biological connection.

“I've seen many cases of physical and sexual abuse that come up with boyfriends, stepparents,” said Eliana Gil, clinical director for the national abuse-prevention group Child help.

“It comes down to the fact they don't have a relationship established with these kids,” she said. “Their primary interest is really the adult partner, and they may find themselves more irritated when there's a problem with the children.''

...

The slaying of toddler Devon Shackleford was premeditated. Derek Chappell, who was sentenced to death this month, considered Devon an obstacle to an on-again, off-again relationship with the boy's mother, and drowned him in an apartment complex swimming pool in Mesa, Ariz.

The greatest risk for children in cohabitation households is couples breaking up. For cohabiting couples, the rate of splitting up is 75 percent, before the children reach 16. In marriage, the rate of separation or divorce by the time the children are 16 is one-third.

Another trend in cohabitation impacting children is only 44 percent of cohabiting mothers eventually marry the fathers of their children. The majority of children in cohabiting households were not born to the couples with whom they reside. The children are from previous unions, generally former relationships of the mothers. Thus, the males in the cohabiting households are usually stepfathers or boyfriends.

Child abuse is a significant social problem. Studies looking at abuse prevention have found stepparents show much higher levels of abuse both in married and unmarried households. Boyfriends also are more likely to be abusive whether they cohabit with or date mothers.

A study in Great Britain examined the relationship between child abuse, family structure and the parental marital background. Children who live with cohabiting biological parents were 20 times more likely to be abused than children living with married biological parents. Children living in cohabiting households with a mother and a boyfriend not the father have a 33 times higher risk of abuse than children in intact families. The risk of abuse for children is only 14 times as great for single mothers living alone than for intact families. Unfortunately, the majority of cohabiting mothers with children live with someone who is not the biological father.

Cohabitation, an increasingly common phenomenon, is a major factor in child abuse. Cohabitation implies a lack of commitment. The evidence suggests that a lack of commitment between biological parents is dangerous for children, and that a lack of commitment between mother and boyfriend is exceedingly so. The risk of child abuse is 20 times higher than in traditional married families if parents are cohabiting (as in "common law" marriages) and 33 times higher if the single mother is cohabiting with a boyfriend

^^^ And? Some kids die because the father kill him, some others can die because a boyfriend, some others in a traffic accident, some others are raped by a nanny, some other are raped by priests. What we do, do we forbid each and everyone of those things?

Children who live with cohabiting biological parents were 20 times more likely to be abused than children living with married biological parents. Children living in cohabiting households with a mother and a boyfriend not the father have a 33 times higher risk of abuse than children in intact families. The risk of abuse for children is only 14 times as great for single mothers living alone than for intact families.

If you were the other parent, you would likely prefer such clauses. Why would anyone want their kids growing up in a party house with strange people in and out on a regular basis?

Correlation does not equal causation. If you are cohabiting someone who is abusive, they are not suddenly going to become nice when you marry them nor is it the case that a decent partner would be turned abusive if are cohabiting instead getting married. It may be the case that some women may be more likely to try out cohabitation with men who show warning signs of abusive behaviour than they are to marry them, however the solution then is to be more wary of those warning signs, not to promote marriage over cohabitation.