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Autistic five-year-old kicked out of restaurant

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slowmutant
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12 Aug 2008, 4:46 am

I believe autistic children require a firm hand.



Mage
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12 Aug 2008, 8:20 am

ShellyH wrote:
Mage wrote:
seymoursheep wrote:

The issue I had was how we were asked to leave. When I tried to explain that my daughter had autism I was told that "if this is how she acts with autism she shouldnt be brought out in public"


Your problem was you used the excuse "she has autism" to justify her behavior, instead of quickly removing her from the situation. I suppose you probably don't go around telling people your daughter has autism when she is exhibiting good behavior, so why do it when she's being bad?

Instead of making excuses, just leave next time. You can avoid unnecessary embarrassment for you and your daughter that way.

By the way, I don't know if you realize, but Autism Speaks doesn't have a very good reputation among autistics.


Autism Speaks is better for parents and the proof is in this thread.

The parent's discussion on this website isn't filled with compassion at all. It's full of people who are supposedly on the spectrum telling parents they are bad parents or other judgemental replies.

I don't agree with the cure aspect of Autism Speaks but I'd rather put up with that than all of these insults. The world doesn't revolve around you either.


Well, I've been to the Autism Speaks forums as well, and I have to say as parent and someone on the spectrum (diagnosed, not just "supposedly) that Autism Speaks has offended me 100 times more than this site ever has.

But to each his own, you can go back to the forum you prefer. But if anything in my post was an insult, I would say your skin is too thin to be on the internet in the first place.



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22 Aug 2008, 6:05 am

ShellyH wrote:
Mage wrote:
seymoursheep wrote:

The issue I had was how we were asked to leave. When I tried to explain that my daughter had autism I was told that "if this is how she acts with autism she shouldnt be brought out in public"


Your problem was you used the excuse "she has autism" to justify her behavior, instead of quickly removing her from the situation. I suppose you probably don't go around telling people your daughter has autism when she is exhibiting good behavior, so why do it when she's being bad?

Instead of making excuses, just leave next time. You can avoid unnecessary embarrassment for you and your daughter that way.

By the way, I don't know if you realize, but Autism Speaks doesn't have a very good reputation among autistics.


Autism Speaks is better for parents and the proof is in this thread.

The parent's discussion on this website isn't filled with compassion at all. It's full of people who are supposedly on the spectrum telling parents they are bad parents or other judgemental replies.

I don't agree with the cure aspect of Autism Speaks but I'd rather put up with that than all of these insults. The world doesn't revolve around you either.


I haven't noticed too many insults, would you care to provide examples?


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Danielismyname
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22 Aug 2008, 10:21 am

slowmutant wrote:
I believe autistic children require a firm hand.


It doesn't work at all. In fact, it just makes the behaviour worst in most cases as individuals with autism are usually quite oppositional and stubborn. eMedicine states the same thing.



slowmutant
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22 Aug 2008, 10:34 am

Danielismyname wrote:
slowmutant wrote:
I believe autistic children require a firm hand.


It doesn't work at all. In fact, it just makes the behaviour worst in most cases as individuals with autism are usually quite oppositional and stubborn. eMedicine states the same thing.


So no discipline whatsoever is best for autsitic children, then? Just let them become feral?

Look, I was an autistic child and I required a firm hand. I turned out to be a pretty decent citizen of the world.



sinsboldly
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22 Aug 2008, 10:57 am

slowmutant wrote:
I believe autistic children require a firm hand.


you believe EVERYONE requires a firm hand, slowmutant! :wink:


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slowmutant
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22 Aug 2008, 11:03 am

Some children are less of a challenge than others. Firmness and cruelty are not to be mistaken for each other.



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22 Aug 2008, 11:39 am

slowmutant wrote:
So no discipline whatsoever is best for autsitic children, then? Just let them become feral?


The answer is, you don't make the Autistic individual adapt to the environment, you make the environment adapt to the Autistic individual. If a child, for example, can't go out to certain areas without wreaking havoc, said child is obviously not made for that environment, so you avoid taking the child to that environment. This is Autism + children 101.

It's avoid [if the environment can't be changed], or change the environment (a different type of school, getting food from the restaurant and eating away from such, etcetera).

Now, in the case of having a child's routine taken away from them (which turns into a "Hulk Smash" meltdown), the best mode of action would have been to remove her from the situation and to a familiar location. Finding another take-away joint that stocks said food would have been appropriate.

There's another line of treatment, which is discouraged nowadays; psychotropic medication. It cuts down on the "meltdowns", but it also cuts down on everything else (the maladaptive and adaptive behaviour in other words are both affected).



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22 Aug 2008, 12:11 pm

It's difficult to make all the stars and heavenly bodies revolve around one autistic child. :roll:



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23 Aug 2008, 1:41 am

slowmutant wrote:
It's difficult to make all the stars and heavenly bodies revolve around one autistic child. :roll:


That's why it's best to keep them away from that which makes them meltdown, which is the point of what I said. Sometimes, like the case in question (not having the order the child wanted), was bad luck; it'd be wise for the mother to call ahead in the future to see if they have what the child wants.



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23 Aug 2008, 2:16 am

Danielismyname wrote:
slowmutant wrote:
It's difficult to make all the stars and heavenly bodies revolve around one autistic child. :roll:


That's why it's best to keep them away from that which makes them meltdown, which is the point of what I said. Sometimes, like the case in question (not having the order the child wanted), was bad luck; it'd be wise for the mother to call ahead in the future to see if they have what the child wants.


yes, mothers, add concierge to your already bulging resume. . after all you have no life of your own but to tend to your little gift from god.

Merle


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23 Aug 2008, 2:28 am

sinsboldly wrote:
yes, mothers, add concierge to your already bulging resume. . after all you have no life of your own but to tend to your little gift from god.

Merle


What else can one do, O wise sage from the ages?

(If you have an answer that works/"cures", you'll be an instant bajillionaire, as well as winning scientific/medical award after award.)

O, and if you aren't prepared for the responsibility that comes with having children, which also means that they may have a mental disorder, one should perhaps refrain from having children (they didn't ask to be here, so you actually have a moral obligation to them).



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23 Aug 2008, 2:36 am

Danielismyname wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
yes, mothers, add concierge to your already bulging resume. . after all you have no life of your own but to tend to your little gift from god.

Merle


What else can one do, O wise sage from the ages?

(If you have an answer that works/"cures", you'll be an instant bajillionaire, as well as winning scientific/medical award after award.)

O, and if you aren't prepared for the responsibility that comes with having children, which also means that they may have a mental disorder, one should perhaps refrain from having children (they didn't ask to be here, so you actually have a moral obligation to them).


too late with that zinger, Daniel. In the REAL WORLD that I live in, the State took my baby from me in the hospital because of my AS characteristics. I have been devistated far more than your little spitballs of sarcasm could ever do.

Merle


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23 Aug 2008, 4:01 am

sinsboldly wrote:
too late with that zinger, Daniel. In the REAL WORLD that I live in, the State took my baby from me in the hospital because of my AS characteristics. I have been devistated far more than your little spitballs of sarcasm could ever do.

Merle


Emotion. Sarcasm counters "nothing" each time, does it not? You didn't answer the question, but to predict the future, you won't be able to, as there is no answer. Children with Autism (not Asperger's; those with Asperger's don't have meltdowns over trivial amounts of change), can be difficult in the effort that's required for them, but this goes back to having the foresight in knowing that there's a chance that any child may need a greater amount of care than another, and it's on the parents/carers to provide said care, morally.



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23 Aug 2008, 5:02 am

Danielismyname wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
too late with that zinger, Daniel. In the REAL WORLD that I live in, the State took my baby from me in the hospital because of my AS characteristics. I have been devistated far more than your little spitballs of sarcasm could ever do.

Merle


Emotion. Sarcasm counters "nothing" each time, does it not? You didn't answer the question, but to predict the future, you won't be able to, as there is no answer. Children with Autism (not Asperger's; those with Asperger's don't have meltdowns over trivial amounts of change), can be difficult in the effort that's required for them, but this goes back to having the foresight in knowing that there's a chance that any child may need a greater amount of care than another, and it's on the parents/carers to provide said care, morally.


You must have missed what Merle just said, Danny Boy. Read the post again.



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23 Aug 2008, 7:33 am

slowmutant wrote:
Danielismyname wrote:
slowmutant wrote:
I believe autistic children require a firm hand.


It doesn't work at all. In fact, it just makes the behaviour worst in most cases as individuals with autism are usually quite oppositional and stubborn. eMedicine states the same thing.


So no discipline whatsoever is best for autsitic children, then? Just let them become feral?

Look, I was an autistic child and I required a firm hand. I turned out to be a pretty decent citizen of the world.


Right, so when disciplining children, the alternatives are "a firm hand" or "no discipline whatsoever". Any other approach, (for example, one lying somewhere between these two extremes) is unthinkable. :roll:


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-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I