Transgender buyer's remorse, aka "detransitioning"

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The focus of the discussion has changed from the non-judgemental statement of "I don't understand" to the question of how to interact with someone.

Just saying.

We tend to have a "social disability" that we are not responsible for.
No harm...no foul...

Essentially, you are saying the same as I did.
I see myself as more a human than a gender and always have.
Treating both "boys & girls" the same when I was young got me into a whole heap of trouble.

I don't see the overarching importance of gender identity myself.
I don't understand why it is so important.
Am I not entitled to be myself?

Of course you're entitled to be yourself.
The same is true of everyone else, including people who are transgendered.

Just because you and I don't feel gendered, it doesn't mean other people can't.

I don't have a problem with that, but my comment was hijacked previously.
The context I used was changed from making a simple expression of honesty/fact about myself to how it would be inappropriate to say such a thing to a transgender person who was being suicidal.

I found that "curious".

Some ppl like me have an inherent mind/body dissociation.
I am more cerebral than biological/emotional, all things being equal.
Some consider this a problem.
I do not.

You are autistic.
Being unique is your job description.
Well, that is how I see it.

Why are you putting words in my mouth?
I never EVER suggested ANYONE shouldn't "march to their own drum beat".
My motto has always been: "To each their own."

Oh god, I know what you mean! How childish eh. They are trying to get attention aren't they!

Yet when people meet a real 'troublemaker who asks awkward questions' i.e. an autistic person who doesn't know about social rules and just says what they think (such as me!), they don't like it and don't know what to do!

Yes, it's none of their business and they need to keep their noses out.

It gets bl00dy annoying to me however when every time I meet a new person, they comment rudely on my appearance, weight, figure etc. Please! Change the topic! Be original for once!

I've decided to say this when people comment on my appearance: 'you've got brown hair, haven't you?' 'you've got blue eyes, haven't you?' If they can state the obvious, so can I

Or I'll say 'Sorry. I no longer answer questions about my weight, appearance or figure. Thank you.'

Is that a norm in UK to be rude to a newly met person?
I used to think it wasn't...

Pepe,

Another thing I have learned - if you state a fact and other people can hear you - it is assumed that you ARE interacting directly with all of those people. People usually assume it is all about them.

Example - if you are out with your family and you see a person wearing an outfit, you should never say “I wonder if she knows her butt is hanging out.” Even if you are wondering that. Because your family will get mad at you. Because they are afraid the person will hear you and be offended.

This is because the social construct is that if you don’t like something about another person and you want them to know that, it is rude and sometimes dangerous to walk up and tell them. But apparently it is “ok” to make an indirect comment to someone else loud enough for the person to overhear.

I don't believe I'm putting words in your mouth.
QD and I mentioned the suicide risk for TG people.
You followed by saying you don't know why TG is so important to people.

It reads as "I don't understand why it's so important ... that they'd want to commit suicide" :




and later:




Given the original conversation it sounds like you're saying (again), "I don't understand why it's so important ... that they would want to commit suicide ..." Your comments were all in response to a conversation about suicide.

All I've been saying is that yes gender is important to many people whether we understand why or not, and if a person feels so misgendered or misunderstood that they'd consider suicide, we need to help them march to their own drum (so to speak), rather than saying “I don't understand you".

That could be catastrophic for a person in a mental health crisis.

I hope we agree on that.

Here's a question: what is gender? Is it the same thing to everyone?

I have heard the gender is who you go to bed as, but sexuality is who you go to bed with. That makes sense.

Is gender the way you carry yourself? How you dress? The roles ( mom wearing an apron and doing traditional homemaker stuff)? And if surgery carries an inherent risk of blood loss, post-op infection, reaction to anesthesia, disability, etc... Is it harmful or predatory to take their money when they could maybe die? I know we've come a long way since, but I was thinking of the movie with Eddie Redmayne ~ The Danish Girl. I thought it was a wonderful, but heartbreaking movie of the lengths that transgender people will go to to be the sex they feel matches them.
Can anyone without a medical background truly grasp the dangers of surgery?

Anyway, it gives me anxiety to try and figure it all out. And I get very afraid of accidently misgendering someone and them thinking I did it to be mean, so I just avoid everything to do with it because it's extremely confusing.

Assuming you are connecting this comment to me...

You don't get what I am saying.
There was no criticism in my comment that "I don't understand why ppl take their gender so seriously, to the point of wanting to suicide".

I also don't get why ppl (this seems to be a guy thing) want to commit suicide because they can't find a girlfriend.
I do have a problem with incel-type behaviour, but not with ppl who are depressed about their gender dysphoria.

Read my lips. :
I simply don't understand why gender dysphoria is such a problem.
(If someone takes offence at this, it is their misunderstanding.)
NO JUDGEMENT!! !! !! !

Some ppl don't get it.
I am referring to a thread that was posted many months ago, btw.