sex causes earthquakes

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http://www.news.com.au/world/extramarit ... 5854907857

what...the...frick?

I assume this is because (a) lots of people bouncing around on beds obviously causes earthquakes, and (b) married people don't have enough time or energy to "bounce around on beds" (too busy and worn out paying their mortgage and looking after the children), so (c) earthquakes must be caused by pre-marital sex.

Seems pretty logical to me

I have this weird thought like that, that either the sky will fall
before I have sex with a woman for the first time, or while I
have sex with a woman for the first time. And I don't know
why. But I really was thinking about sex a lot the day the
Chinese Earthquake, Chicago Fireball, and Iceland Eruption.

Someone recently told me, correlation is not causation.
In other words even if there is an earthquake during sex
every time, sex doesn't cause earthquakes, for example.
It's just luck.

I've heard people say "the ground moved" when they had sez though.

And someone I know stopped having sex during a thunderstorm after
three very close lightning strikes outside their window. They said it was
like a hint from heaven. But I read the holy books and I don't think they
say anything about sex causing earthquakes or lightning.

Adultery is the sin of wanting to have sex with someone else's wife,
or sometimes it means false religions or international intrigues, and
in that case, earthquake is metaphor for consequential war. (IMO,Methinks)

The gravity of the moon may be a solid tidal force causing earthquakes.

Last edited by ValMikeSmith on 18 Apr 2010, 4:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

When I first saw this I was tempted to write something smug and slightly rude, but on reflection I think that it is better that I point out that it seems a rather odd thing to me. The idea that a God will be offended at a person's act and then impose a collective punishment on the whole society seems very odd.

I know that in the bible there were some cases of God imposing (or threatening) a collective punishment on a city for its vile acts. But the problem I see is that the earthquake troubles equally the good and the wrongdoers, if an all powerful God existed who loved mankind and still wished to punish the wrongdoer would it not be more logical that he might employ a thunderbolt to strike down the wrongdoer in a surgical strike. The book of Exodus does suggest that God loves humans, so why would he want to wipe them out.

Also if you read the part of the book of Exodus which deals with the escape from egypt you will find how God did not feel happy about killing anything he had created.

I think a better explanation of the earthquakes is the idea of the earth's plates which move around.

ask any teacher or drill instructor their opinion, which is that the most effective punishments are collective punishments, which tend to cause a whole-group lashing-out at an individual wrongdoer which is far worse than what any single authority figure could mete out. in the military, somebody who "screwed the pooch" and caused the entire barracks to get penalized could expect a malice-aforethought "blanket party" in the dark, that would cause the offender to wish they'd never been born.

great Sex Causes Earthquakes

and global warming too,

if your lucky.

Yes I am aware that if the teacher or drill instructor stops people having fun by stopping their play that the group may arrise and punish the wrongder. However if the whole group have been struck down by thunderbolts / brimestone from the skys or a volcano then who will be left behind to dispense the "blanket party" ?

if the grounds arokin dont come a knockin

Sounds like Pat Robertson has an Iranian cousin

You can always count on religious fanatics to come up with the most asinine ideas about earthquakes.

Hahaha...nice, real nice.

At the very least, it is a nice metaphore... <.<

...only if you're doing it right
though it seems to be another "blame natural disasters on people/behaviours we disapprove of.." bleh.. that argument is really getting old.. you'd think with all the science that actually explains earthquakes and the like, they'd find something new.

They'll say anything to make sure they don't lose their grip of absolute control over people's lives.

This sounds like the sort of thing Pat Robertson would say.

ok, i was only being facetious when i said that. but it was/is true in the limited context in which i originally couched my statement. an equally satirical old-testament-style reply would be that sometimes it is necessary to destroy the village in order to "save" it. this is my clumsy way of hinting that "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth pretty soon leaves everybody toothless and blind." even if the holy bible made any sense to me [it surely does not], the judgmental god described within its pages is not necessarily one i'd like to meet anytime in eternity.

Yeah, and my iPhone caused the ash cloud...