The opposite effects of social rejection

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http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/20 ... 114634.htm

"For people who already feel separate from the crowd, social rejection can be a form of validation. For such people, that distinction is a positive one leading them to greater creativity.
Social rejection has the opposite effect on people who value belonging to a group: It inhibits their cognitive ability."

So - being ND and ostracized will made the cognitive difficulties even worse, but when the ND realize they will never be accepted in a group of NTs, but are still beautiful individuals, valuable in their own uniqueness, they change from being "cognitively inhibited" to being independent and creative...

I have been trying to "fit in", "be accepted" for the last 40 years. It might be because I'm a woman, it might be because I'm a human, but... lately I've been reading things like this that make me convinced of that I was never meant to "fit in" or "be accepted", adjust who I am, learn to follow the social game rules that don't make any sense... when I could have ignored the f-ing thing the whole time, be me and be creative, and perhaps even achieve something...

I'm a little mad - at the society with its stupid expectations of "socialization", at me for trying for this long, but I'm also excited by the idea of that I could blame the rejection of my cognitive problems... or the fear of rejection. I haven't even checked if I behave differently when I'm alone or in "safe" social environment, but thinking back now... I think I do.

Sounds good to me, just gotta try and convince myself of something like this rather than believe its a bad thing on my part not to buy into all the social norms and such.

What's ND?

As a kid, I was miserable because I never seemed to fit in - sometimes even with my own friends who were mostly schoolyard rejects themselves. These days, knowing that I'll never fit in with my peers, I realize I might as well be as weird and eccentric as my nature befits. My wife likes that I'm a weirdo.
I am currently trying to impress on my daughter that she should be happy with who she is, regardless of how different her autism makes her.

-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer

If there's one regret I have in life it's that I wish I had invested my resources (time, energy, money) in myself rather than in relations with other humans. I only became wiser in my forties.

But alas, we are raised by NTs (parents, counselors, teachers, the media) and for THEM living for yourself and not others is the worst that can happen to a human, so they raise us to waste our lives trying (and failing) to fit in.

I think I'll post this in the Parents' Forum...

Age and experience is bringing me to realise that fitting in, etc, isn't important. It's actually better not to be one of the crowd. I'm also learning a lot from my daughter. She doesn't give two hoots what people think about her and is a better person for it. She's different and confident. I just hope it stays with her.