Feeling Profiled

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I've alway felt this way but lating its gotten worse. Frist off I'm a 38 year old white guy I've always a nervous person and with AS have a hard time commicating with people my wife says I have an angry appeance at times I've been followed around stores as long as I can remember esp. if a salesman has talked to me since unless I'm comfortable I will not look at you I've been follewed by the police on too many times to count ,pulled out of cars by the police who saw how nervous I was had there hands on there guns of course I'm unconfortable so I have a very hard time talking or even looking at the which makes them more nervous. By the way I've never been in trouble and drive very carefully. Now with them training airport screeners to look for nervuose people and try and make small talking and stuff with them i'm paranoid about going anywere even by train with all the look for people acting odddly adds and things I'm not that odd acting but draw this stuff like a magnet always have. people have a hard time becuse I can be good eoungh to pass as nt but its very straining at time and dont belive that i could have any problem but be guilty of what ever but they dont see me at my house flaping away paceing in ovals or the utter exhaution such socail interaction brings about

sorry if ai ranted a bit just had to let it out to see if anybody felt similar but feel police and such should perhaps have better training to try and on such things to better help both sides

Maybe seeing a therapist about your paranoia would help, for a start. You sound pretty distressed.

i think i know how you feel, parts. i often get mistaken for being angry, particuarly when i am feeling sad, oddly. there have been many occasions where, even people who know me quite well, have misinterpreted my behaviour as aggression- even when i've has tears visibly rolling down my cheeks. i don't understand this because i thought that crying is meant to be clear indication of vulnerability. i have many painful memories of occasions where i have sought comfort from people, only to be shouted at in my time of need because the person thought i was being aggressive. luckily, 95.5% of the time i don't turn to other people for help when i am distressed.

something that happens to me more often is that people in positions of authority assume that i am under the influence of drugs, when the reality is that i barely even drink! i guess that looking "spaced-out" and being a bit clumsy contributes to this misconception.

as parts NT wife, i can attest to the fact that he does indeed seem to draw unwanted attention....it's not like he's doing anything all that strange ~ and certainly not illegal.....and, yes, he does see a therapist.....................i remember one of the worst instances being when he was working....evidently he and his car fit the description of someone who had just committed a crime....they pulled him out of the car, and had their hands on their guns ~ 8 cops, 2 detectives...anyone would be nervous at this~ they only released him after being informed that the suspect was seen someplace else................i can't even tell you how nervous i am to have him go to the airport...did you hear about the bipolar guy who was killed because he started freaking out ??????? can you imagine what hand-flapping looks like to security guards who have no idea what Aspergers is ?????

You're right about how scary the airport security would be.

I should be clearer about my suggestion of talking to a therapist. If he's feeling paranoid and afraid, he could look even more suspicious, and like you said, hand-flapping doesn't look good. So my point is that if he feels less paranoid, maybe he'll attract less attention. It seems like a bit of a vicious circle. Feel paranoid/profiled, start looking that way, attract attention, get more paranoid....

I apologize if you thought I was being rude. I sincerely was trying to help.

This scares me too. If my partner or I (we're both aspie) had to go through a sobriety test, we'd probably both fail it sober. The cops here are brutal and they get away with it...I'm always afraid that my partner will get beat up by them or something for no good reason...and it isn't an unfounded fear, because I've seen it happen to several normal friends.

I never realized it till i was told I look that way just normally my wife said i shoulh practice smiling more.


I have the same reaction "ooh I want whatever your on" I work constrution and people always assume i drink when I rarely do and I stumble on things alot and they dont belive me
By the way in Ct where I live Metronorth commuter rail servive and NYC subways have adds on about reporting supicious behavior and things like wires and things sticking out of peoples pockets all the time. I almost always figits in my coat pockets things I pick up here and there sometimes wire which i like to twist and make things.