I had a bad incident on the transit bus today

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For those living in Canada and parts of America you may know what a transit bus is, a city bus. I had a bad incident on there today.

Okay, here goes, after school I was waiting for the transit bus to arrive. There was so many people on it, and I went on one of the later stops, so I couldn't sit anywhere, some of us had to stand. There was very very little room on the bus for anything, and I stood next to this lady with her baby and a stroller(The lady held on to her baby and she didn't want to unfold the stroller, she was also sitting down) A few minutes later,(You know how you sometimes uncontrollably touch things when you are on the bus, like when it turns or stops?) Well, when the bus turned at one point, there was very little room so I accidentally touched the stroller, then the lady yells.

"DON'T DO THAT!"

Me: "I'm sorry, geez."

I do it again by accident.

Lady: "DON'T TOUCH THE STROLLER!"

Me talking in a very angry and loud tone of voice: "I'M TRYING NOT TO, GOD!"

Lady: "THEN DON'T DO IT!"

There were a few odd looks by students, aiming at me, not at her. Did the lady really think I was some rude punk who likes to touch things that don't belong to me? It seemed like as if she thought I was doing it on purpose. I know for a fact that she didn't want people to touch the stroller because she didn't want germs to be spread on it, but guess what, that's her problem, not mine. You know why? Because she picked the wrong time to go on the transit bus when so so many highschool kids are on there, like what do you expect to happen if you were the one taking your baby and it's stroller on a transit bus when there are so many people? Do you expect that people will be perfectly safe with it for the whole time when there's very little room? I mean accidents happen, so why does she have to b***h about it? I swear, due to my anxiety and asperger related problems I was almost about to hit the baby, or scream f**k off, but good thing I didn't.

Yet another few minutes later, that same lady is having a lovely conversation with this highschool dude, I didn't hear every single word but it was something like this.

Lady: I don't want people touching the stroller, you guys might spread germs on it, and yet I have 3 kids.

The kid: Yeah, I agree.

Then the lady said something about her biking 2-3 hours a day, but again, I can't accurately recall this conversation.

A few seconds later when the bus driver made a huge stop and everybody got squished forward, the kid accidentally squished into the stroller, and yet the lady didn't yell at him.

Due to what I just said there, is the whole world against me and can't appreciate anything I do? Even if it's good? Like the other kids yell at me if I get to an accident or if there is something bad I am doing, but they don't do it if a normal person makes the same mistake. Did the lady really notice how "different" I am, just by looking at me?

Well I'm glad that's over, hopefully nothing like that happens tomorrow.

Has any of you aspies had a similar incident like that before or feel that not a lot of people appreciate what you do even if it's good, just because you're "different"? Well I feel that way, I'm just tired of people being so critical towards me, it's not my fault I'm different and that I touched a stupid stroller, god.

If a normal person(Not including family members of aspies) reads this, they will probably be posting s**t and hate comments and saying that I was being rude, but if you aspies read this I am expecting that the majority of you will agree with me and share similar problems.

Differences in body language may have made the woman uncomfortable, and germs really have nothing to do with it unless she really believed any visible differences are caused by germs.

People's behavior like this makes me wonder if we really want to make the world 100% safe from all the bad scary stuff, after all, doing so amounts to short circuiting the process of natural selection. How's the gene pool gonna improve that way?

I'd have been tempted to tell her that her kid is nice tiger food.

I have had similar incidents of anger at blatent unfairness against me and no one else. However, if SHE did not want anyone else touching HER stroller, SHE should not get on a PUBLIC transportation system. Just keep your cool and ignore the inferiority of the irrationality she portrayed. Easier said then done, I have had similar experiences, and have only rarely kept my cool.

Its the nature of the beast, or so they say. Your eye contact, your body language, everything that people judge one another on, are off kilter at best when you're an aspie. You stick out like a hitchhiker's thumb on a hand with 3 fingers.

Also take into account that this lady has 3 KIDS. She's extremely stressed out as it is, feeding so many mouths and looking out for their health. Did it occur to you though, that maybe because you and her already had an "arguement" that maybe it clicked in her head after the second exchange of words it wasnt your fault. Maybe she felt like a b***h so she tried to smooth it over with another passanger.

People in general are wierd in HOW they CHOOSE to react. While we as aspies dont necessarily choose TO react(it just happens most of the time), we take an extreme route 9 times out of 10. your tone of voice and reaction "choice" would lead any woman with a child to be "protective".

I might suggest with ANY accident of this magnititude(small, frivolous), you just take the blame, and say "sorry, bus has me going all over the place!" Using a joke will soften the situation more often than not. I have no doubt you were thinking of how cramped it was and not having a seat, but this lead you to react in an unpleasant manner.

Not saying this is your fault, but you do have a choice in HOW you react, even if you cant control the need to. Give yourself 3 seconds to think before you even open your mouth to reply, otherwise you might put your foot in it first.

You all have very good points, but sometimes it is just hard for us aspies to give people "smooth" reactions when we are involved in arguments, why? Because I was really pissed off, like really, really, pissed.

hey, dont get me wrong, I prolly woulda responded the same way as you did at your age, its something that evolves overtime. You will always have a "childish" nature to you, but soon enough you will wish to control yourself more(if at all possible). You just learn that hese situations arent worth the effort given by being angry.

We all get treated like this sooner or later, and usually more than a few times in a lifetime. Just understand that the person yelling at you is pointing ALL thier frustration IN THE WORLD, even when you dont deserve any at all. Thats how they work. They find an opportunity and let loose. It allows them to clear their head, and regain composure.

Then again, some of these people REALLY ARE JUST as*holes.

You're right, I could have just said nothing. But sometimes as*holes do deserved to be yelled at, the lady didn't even ask me that nicely, if she asked me a little bit more nicely I would of had a better reaction.

You can't expect to meet decent people on a transit bus.

Some guy was sitting down with his bag on the seat, and people started to stand up, so he tapped this guys shoulder who had his earphones in, and he politely offered him a seat, and the guy's like DONT TOUCH ME, I DONT NEED A SEAT, YOU'RE VIOLATING MY PERSONAL SPACE!

People you meet on a transit bus are generally going to suck. It's not your fault.

Very, very true. But since I live quite a long way from school to walk and my parents both work I kind of don't really have any other option on how I should get to school and back, it kinda sucks, I might have to get used to the transit bus.

It's required of students to take the transit bus to school. They buy you bus passes, but my district is simply too poor to hire bus drivers for high school, so they make us take the city bus.

It was inconveinent because I had to transfer 2 times to school, 3 times back.

For those who live really far away from the school are eligible for taking a regular school bus, my district does hire bus drivers for my high school, but since I don't live too too far away from my high school(40 minute walk, 7-8 minute drive by car) I have to take the transit.

What? Thats just ridiculous!

It wouldnt even be that bad if she was the same with everyone, but to do that with everyone else and for people to be on her side, thats just mad... I would have said that to her, TBH.

Agreed, bump.

bump