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superboyian
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08 Aug 2010, 12:06 pm

Future_Patriot wrote:
CMD wrote:
Aimless wrote:
For myself, it just feels too intrusive and it feels like the person can see your most innermost thoughts.


Pretty much my main reason as well. Along with that it feels like the person is expecting something from me, if that makes sense.

I feel the same way at times. I end up looking away very quickly.


Same here too. I'm alright from far away, its really close up I find really uncomfortable.
I find that I can do it perfectly when with my girlfriend, it doesn't really hurt so much to look. ;)


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Tiggurix
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08 Aug 2010, 12:07 pm

I don't have a problem with it, though no-one can beat me in a staring contest! :D



superboyian
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08 Aug 2010, 12:09 pm

Tiggurix wrote:
I don't have a problem with it, though no-one can beat me in a staring contest! :D


I could (but it would mean putting my whole guts into looking into your eyes). :lol:


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Tiggurix
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08 Aug 2010, 12:22 pm

superboyian wrote:
Tiggurix wrote:
I don't have a problem with it, though no-one can beat me in a staring contest! :D


I could (but it would mean putting my whole guts into looking into your eyes). :lol:

We'd have to see about that. ;)
I did in fact have staring contest with an aspie once. After standing there for 5-10 minutes we decided to agree on an 'unresolved'. :mrgreen:



superboyian
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08 Aug 2010, 1:49 pm

Tiggurix wrote:
superboyian wrote:
Tiggurix wrote:
I don't have a problem with it, though no-one can beat me in a staring contest! :D


I could (but it would mean putting my whole guts into looking into your eyes). :lol:

We'd have to see about that. ;)
I did in fact have staring contest with an aspie once. After standing there for 5-10 minutes we decided to agree on an 'unresolved'. :mrgreen:


Lol :lol: you really did that for about 5 - 10 minutes and left it unresolved... I can already imagine how red your eyes would have been if you continued.


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Tiggurix
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08 Aug 2010, 2:33 pm

superboyian wrote:
Tiggurix wrote:
superboyian wrote:
Tiggurix wrote:
I don't have a problem with it, though no-one can beat me in a staring contest! :D


I could (but it would mean putting my whole guts into looking into your eyes). :lol:

We'd have to see about that. ;)
I did in fact have staring contest with an aspie once. After standing there for 5-10 minutes we decided to agree on an 'unresolved'. :mrgreen:


Lol :lol: you really did that for about 5 - 10 minutes and left it unresolved... I can already imagine how red your eyes would have been if you continued.

I'm actually still rather confident I could have continued, but I don't know if I would have won. :mrgreen:



superboyian
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08 Aug 2010, 3:49 pm

Tiggurix wrote:
superboyian wrote:
Tiggurix wrote:
superboyian wrote:
Tiggurix wrote:
I don't have a problem with it, though no-one can beat me in a staring contest! :D


I could (but it would mean putting my whole guts into looking into your eyes). :lol:

We'd have to see about that. ;)
I did in fact have staring contest with an aspie once. After standing there for 5-10 minutes we decided to agree on an 'unresolved'. :mrgreen:


Lol :lol: you really did that for about 5 - 10 minutes and left it unresolved... I can already imagine how red your eyes would have been if you continued.

I'm actually still rather confident I could have continued, but I don't know if I would have won. :mrgreen:


You probably would of, never had staring competitions with somebody for that long and they eventually end up blinking.
Doesn't barely take them 10 seconds to even do so. :lol:


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Tiggurix
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08 Aug 2010, 3:54 pm

superboyian wrote:
Tiggurix wrote:
superboyian wrote:
Tiggurix wrote:
superboyian wrote:
Tiggurix wrote:
I don't have a problem with it, though no-one can beat me in a staring contest! :D


I could (but it would mean putting my whole guts into looking into your eyes). :lol:

We'd have to see about that. ;)
I did in fact have staring contest with an aspie once. After standing there for 5-10 minutes we decided to agree on an 'unresolved'. :mrgreen:


Lol :lol: you really did that for about 5 - 10 minutes and left it unresolved... I can already imagine how red your eyes would have been if you continued.

I'm actually still rather confident I could have continued, but I don't know if I would have won. :mrgreen:


You probably would of, never had staring competitions with somebody for that long and they eventually end up blinking.
Doesn't barely take them 10 seconds to even do so. :lol:

Yeah, I know! It's almost irritating, in a way. :lol:



david-k
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12 Aug 2010, 8:17 pm

I don't have troubles with eye contact in general. Just in situations I'm not used to. Fortunately I have reached the point where I can intuitively detect whether I did it right or wrong. This is a very primitive feedback but better than nothing. Eyes are doors to the mind. That's why I hate sunglasses. I need to know what others think about me. Also with this reference information I learned to understand other signals. When I avoid eye contact with someone it's not because I'm asocial or but because I'm afraid of what I'll read in their eyes.

There are situations in which everyone has problems with eye-contact. Also NTs. They all recommend "stare at the nose". (That's when you know you should look at someone but you can't)

What is harder for you? Finding out when to look at whom? Or the looking itself?



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12 Aug 2010, 8:59 pm

parrotnut wrote:
I have AS and was wondering why I have such trouble with Eye contact? What makes it so hard to look other people in the eye for more than a few seconds?


Eye contact problems are pretty much standard issue for aspies. Why, because its just part of the learning disability. In some cases, its made worse by being chastised for staring at an early age. Its hard, but you can force yourself to look people in the eye. I never figured out which eye you're supposed to look at, its even harder to look at both of them at the same time. A lot of time, I just look at the bridge of the nose.



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12 Aug 2010, 9:43 pm

n4mwd wrote:
parrotnut wrote:
I have AS and was wondering why I have such trouble with Eye contact? What makes it so hard to look other people in the eye for more than a few seconds?


Eye contact problems are pretty much standard issue for aspies. Why, because its just part of the learning disability. In some cases, its made worse by being chastised for staring at an early age. Its hard, but you can force yourself to look people in the eye. I never figured out which eye you're supposed to look at, its even harder to look at both of them at the same time. A lot of time, I just look at the bridge of the nose.


As a child my eye contact issues were so bad that I would literally turn my head when speaking to someone. My AS son has trouble with eye contact as well. He recently told me "It just feels rude."



AspieJade18
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21 Aug 2010, 8:11 am

@booyakasha

yes,exactly its like someone is continuously jabbing you in the eyes!



Suzu
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02 Sep 2010, 11:45 pm

Most people with Aspergers have issues with eye contact - it's one of the most common symptoms. Good news, it will get easier over time. Especially if you practice. It's also easier if you're comfortable with whoever you're talking to. Also, WHAT you're talking about makes a huge impact. Small talk vs. emotionally-charged topics, sensitive issues, etc. Do the best you can - if you don't force yourself to do it at least a little, it will take a lot longer to improve, not to mention that it's really satisfying when you do manage to do it! - but if it's too uncomfortable, than don't. If you want, you can explain that you just have difficulty maintaining eye contact, or just use tricks like looking at a person's mouth instead of their eyes.



IceCreamGirl
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06 Sep 2010, 11:56 am

I'm good at making eye contact. I've practiced. I have other issues, though.



MONKEY
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06 Sep 2010, 12:31 pm

f**k eyecontact.

That is all


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sylbao
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06 Sep 2010, 2:59 pm

Ok, so loads of Asperger have some problems with eye-contact. But, why, exactly ? It would be interesting if more posts weren't just "yes I dislike it". I think this is very complex and various. That's why trying to share deep experiences could be great.
I tend to avoid eye contact because that stimulates the others, and I'm afraid of that, of them coming to me, and of me too uncomfortable for reacting properly...