moral issues. any input?

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well yesterday a close NT friend came to me crying and i calmed her down after a while of just holding her and such then we started talking and kissing and she told me some really personal stuff like what her brother (who i really want to kill and just might if i ever see him) forced her to do with him when she was 5, 7 and 10 and anyways seems too good to be true right? well heres the catch shes in a relationship with a (from what shes told me) verbally abusive (at times) guy. i mean she likes me and him ALOT so the 2 of us are kinda the teenage version of friends with benefits. any input?

oh yeah we are both sophmores and he is like collage age or older, not sure on the exact age

Play it cool, don't get emotionally involved, don't believe a word she says. Mostly have fun.

why shouldnt i believe her? she doesnt know im an AS so i doubt shes taking advantage of my lack of ability to read social cues.

People, especially girls with multiple suitors, say things for their own reasons. Accept them, but never believe them.

alright thanks for the heads up. but as for the boyfriend details ive known her for a long time and she told me about that well before she liked me and ive heard it from her best friend too.

I would reccomend to her that she try and talk to a therapist, because what happened when he was little is probably really affecting her relationships now. I would just listen to her when she needs somebody to. I think she might be really vulnerable because of her past, and the fact that her boyfriend is verbally abusive is probably really confusing for her. So I think I would just stay friends for now, I guess.

Provided you're sure all she's said to you is true and you want to follow a morally upstanding path:

Try to help her. Tell her you can't do stuff with her (Like kissing her and all) if she's going to hide it from her boyfriend and keep seeing him. Allowing her to cheat on someone, even if he's verbally abusive, isn't the best thing to do. If she likes both you and him, make it clear (But not in a harsh way) that she'll have to choose. If her boyfriend's verbally abusive, then it stands to reason that he's also not very receptive to her emotional needs/can't comfort her like he has to be able to. Which would explain why she came crying to you and not to him (Unless the problem originated with him, which is just further proof that she shouldn't be with him)... Of course, then there's the issue of your feelings. You've known her a long time and want to hurt her brother for hurting her. If your feelings are romantic, then do what I've said. If they're not, still try to help her get out of an abusive relationship, but don't lead her on into thinking that you feel that way. But considering your response to her, I think you want to be with her at least a little. Friends with benefits probably won't work here...

So try and help her. Make things clearer for her. And comfort her when she needs it. Believe that she's not using you, and if it turns out she is, then it's okay to be hurt. Have her choose, and if she can't choose, then give your own opinion. Even if it's "I want you to be with me and not him because he's hurting you with his words."

That's my take on the situation provided you want to follow the morally upstanding path, which I think you do, considering the title of this thread. However, you may have your own idea as to what you want to do in this, or you disagree with my viewpoint. That's okay.

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