So do parents usually hit their kids?

Post Reply New Topic

I was heavely spanked by my mother as a child . I really hate her for this reason

I had an abusive family, and didn't realize it do to social isolation. (I didn't have anything to compare it to.)
Other than physical violence, do your parents ever act in ways that seem negligent? Have they ever been reluctant to take you to a doctor when you were very ill, or do they ever forget things like keeping food around for you, or even just asking how you are doing? This is the sort of thing people on the Autism Spectrum often don't notice ourselves, especially if we don't have chances to see other people's families.

I got smacked on numerous occasions as a little kid by my mom. I think the last time my dad ever belted me was when I was like 2 or 3, but I don't remember it. My mom still chases me up the stairs with shoes (her favorite are her flip flops) and throws them at me if she doesn't want to run anymore.

My mom doesn't really hit me (she popped me a couple of times, but I don't remember them so no matter), but she threatened to kick me out the house for something. Seeing as I'm 14, jobless, and I have too much pride to go to my aunt's house, that would've been a problem. Does your mom threaten to kick you out the house? She yells and whines a lot too. Oh, she also hit me with the remote a couple of times because of a meltdown (well, meltdowns). Nothing serious. Just a sore arm and leg.

I've never been hit by my parents.

Parents should only hit their children if they do something really serious such as, smoking or taking drugs. Otherwise, I think it is completely inappropriate.

If you feel you are being abused, you must tell someone.

I spanked my kids and used either my hand, a belt on the back of the legs or a hickory switch which just stings. Usually around here, by the time you are the same size as your parent, they know not to spank you. If they hit you then it's considered a fight not a spanking, so you hit back and just throw down.

Also, boys will always, ALWAYS, end up in a fight with their dad, and the dad usually wins but not all the time. This happens at about age 14 or 15 or so. It doesn't really mean anything either way, win or lose. It's just pretty much a rite of passage around here.

I wasn't spanked. It's illegal here and considered childabuse, but I think they only declared it so after I had already turned seven. Anyways, it's widely believed to be child abuse and I agree with that. Knowing what I was like as a child I wouldn't have anybody hit me either. Only once was my mom kind of close to doing so but I actually told her "do it and I'll go to the police first thing tomorrow". But I must say that in this situation it wasn't my fault. She had insisted on explaining a math problem to me which I hadn't understodd in a test (which I didn't even fail) and because nobody in my family has ever found out how to not be noisy, impatient and a terrible teacher the situation got a little out of hand because I just didn't get what she was telling me and... yeah, not interesting, so whatever.
I would have fought back as much as possible and would have never, ever forgiven such a violation. But it wasn't necesarry either...
The only problem in my family was that my brother and I were left alone a lot, like, both our paretns, even though my mother only worked part-time, would put their jobs way before their family, make promises they never bothered to keep and mostly only yell whenever something wasn't to their liking, no matter whose fault it actually was.

If one of mine ever threatened to call anybody over spanking, I would say "Gimme that phone, I'll dial it for you!" and I would tell whatever agency that came out "Fine, take him and you don't spank him. You'll bring him back tomorrow!" It is not child abuse and I got mind spanked a lot when I was little. I just didn't do those things anymore after getting spanked. I don't know what country you live in, but damn dude. There are things you put up with and things you don't. It's that simple. Kids learn what they can and can't do.

As for fighting back, oh let one of them hit me while I'm spanking them! Just let it happen!

Wow

I didn't get spanked, per se, or rather, it was never more than one or two blows. Or a painful slap in the hand. I didn't like it one bit, but now I understand why It would have been necessary, it only happened rarely when I was very disrespectful towards my parents or something. And yeah, once I mentioned the police and my father just handed me the phone

As for fighting back, well, it never happened. Mainly because when I was old enough to fight back, I was mature enough to be reasoned with in every misunderstanding. I do remember one close call, but instead of running away I just looked at my father in the eye, daring him to try and hit me, and he never tried again.

I see a lot of entitled kids these days who treat their parents like trash; that feels a lot more wrong than spanking, in my opinion.

Dd you ever see that comedian talking about getting spanked by a hickory switch when he was a kid? He said you never talk back during a spanking because for every word your mother says answering you, you are going to get another pop with the switch while she's got your arm and you are both moving in a tight circle while she's spanking you. As in "Whaaaaaah I won't do it again!" and she goes (with a pop with every word ) "I...... know...... you...... won't...... do ...... it....... again.......cause....... if........ you......... do........ I'll........ go........ get....... me........ another....... hickory........." It happened to me, and it's true, you do end up doing that when you are spanking too. The thing about hickories is they only sting. They don't do any kind of injury or leave anything but a little red stripe for maybe 20 minutes. The stinging is much worse than a regular spanking in my opinion. I would have rather got spanked with a belt than a hickory when I was a kid. Hence, my penchant for courderoy pants when I was still young enough to get spanked. The courderoy made it where you didnt feel it, so you just faked the crying lol.

Once I stuffed a notebook down my pants but my father noticed . As if anyone wouldn't
He always tells me how my grandmother used to spank him with her fluffy slippers, and he would laugh because it didn't hurt at all, then she'd hit him harder and he'd laugh harder and then fake pain before she called my grandfather.

The thing is - it wasn't really necessarry or me. I guess I turned out rather well and so did many others whom I grew up with.
Also, the situation I was talking about wasn't about spanking either. It was about htting me, my mother was in a very agressive mood while I stayed calm. I almost always stayed calm, no matter how much I was being yelled at or insulted or anything. And if a kid can maintain self control adults can do that, too.
I didn't do many things I did again either - but out of different reasons. There were wrong and I just hated doing something wrong. I hated huring others and disappointing others. I know it's different for some people but I never had to be threatened with anything in order to not do something again. Maybe I was just easy to handle... but, as I said, looking at a lot of kids who were raised the same way I guess not raising kids with corporal punishment can work, too.
As for the "things you put up with" I don't know what exactly that means. Does it mean that parents don't accept all kinds of behaviour or that children don't accept/ have to accept everything their parents do - but have in come countries to accept things such as being spanked?
Whatever it is - I agree that there have to be consequences and that children need to learn them. But there are many different opinions on corporal punishment, I don't agree with it but that's only my opinion and I'm not going to try change other people's point of view in this forum, I guess that's not the right place to try.

Oh, and I'm female. But in the context of this thread that doesn't really matter.

I had pretty good parents but I still am angry to this day of being spanked by my father. I understand I was an unintentionally difficult child and had frequent outbursts (just like him) but all I can remember was the feeling of betrayal and helplessness as he pinned me down and struck me hard on the butt (enough to leave bruises). I didn't and still didn't know WHY I was being hit, just that I was and it was the most terrifying feeling in the world. We're still not very close and this is probably one of the reasons why.

I find it shocking how hitting an adult is considered assault but hitting a child is love. I admit I have no kids of my own but I could NEVER strike a child, and would struggle mightily even when absolutely necessary (i.e. choking). I was slapped on the hand by mom and that didn't bother me too much but being forcibly pinned down and struck hard was very traumatic.

I'm sorry to hear that :/

Didn't read thread because It was long but I hope this information is relevant and not a repeat of someone else's information. I, according to other people, have had a s**t upbringing. During the first 7 years of my life I have had my dad. After that he left because he needed to get out of the area, Understandable, After that my Mum had different boyfriends. The first one hit me in the head, I can't remember this but apparently it happened, because I did something wrong. I can remember the next one being okay. I liked going bowling with him. After that my mum, herself got abused by the next boyfriend. I was too young to understand but apparently, My uncle, Who is my hero, and my dad hated him. This was rightful because he started hitting my mum. If I saw him now he would no longer be with us, as is said, but that is personal opinion, after that came another who didn't like me but I can't say he is a bad person. I just think he is more military minded instead. While I don;t get on with him I still respect him. I am glad I don't live with him any more and after 6-7 years with him I think anyone with personal ideas wouldn't, but I respect him for keeping my mum and half-brother (Brat as he is) safe all these years.

My parents just yell at me. I was spanked a few times as a kid though.