changes every day type 5-2
some days i wake up confident, and my behavior is NT or superior above NT
other day i am almost scared of people, socially awkward and can't act normally.
but i'm never proud to be an aspie though, it's something i pretend not to be.
i try to be a type 5 all the time. that is one step above NT. but i don't always have the confidence to back it up, and it is a matter of confidence. if i always have confidence in myself then i can be a type 5 forever. I'm sometimes type 5. what i can do is astounding. I have all the knowledge, its just a matter of being able to use it. when i'm a type 5, i don't act like myself. small stuff like give a speech or presentation front of important people comes easy. i don't feel nervous about anything, it affects me more than just socially. when i'm a type 5 not only can i use all my knowledge something else unlocks in me. i'm an expert manipulator when i'm like that. instead of being manipulated by other people or being socially unsure of myself i have people in my hand. i can do anything i want with them. i've never used it with any ill-intents but i've talked my way out of a few traffic tickets. I don't really know how i do that kind of thing when i'm not a type 5
today i'm a type 3
it's a long ways from being a type 4 before age 8. back then i didn't know the social world existed and rejected anyone that tried to bring me into the social world.