Aspie in "love"?
Hey guys I'm fairly new here but I got to ask. Can a aspire be emotionally connected to a person? I ask this because in my school (I'm a junior BTW) there is this girl were I just can't help but have an overwhelming desire to protect her. Much like a knight to a princess. But the bad thing is she goes out of her way to ignore me. All the guys in my school just want to get into her pants to prove they got skills (she is pretty hard to get) Even though these guys intentions are obvious she still plays and talks to them. But it doesn't end there. In my class there's this god dam idiot with no manners (burping loudly in class) and just watches naruto (trust me this guy looks like one of those church boys) and yet she still talk to him. I try to figure out what they have that I don't but I just can't figure it out. I usually end up getting depressed and take some ibuprofen to surpress the emotions.....
Your best way around I think is to try to spread rumors about the naruto guy, if the girl you're talking about is gullible, then she'll stop hanging out with him. The world we live in is one of lies and deception.
This tactic seems to be more detrimental to his cause than the potential benefits it might yield. Generally speaking tactics where you try to attack another person's character only end in your own misfortune and/or social destruction. Additionally, the "naruto guy" appears to be one of many, that is to say, she is taking to more people than just the "naruto guy" and his removal from the situation will have little affect on his relationship with the girl. However, if he fails at what you have suggested his chances of any type of relationship with her drastically fall and may even cease to exist.
In regards to the OP, yes an aspergian can be emotionally connected to a person; albeit, forming and by addition sustaining this relationship is by no means an easy feat, it is definitely worth the massive amount of time you will pour into the relationship -you get what you put into a relationship-. One thing to keep in mind is to be successful in any relationship, one should aspire to be the type of person that the other individual would be proud to be acquainted with. One should do this while remaining true to who they are. Another thing important to understand is that the type of relationship you are interested in does not spontaneously happen. It therefore is advisable to set yourself up into a situation where you will be interacting outside of school hours.
For example, while it may put you under a great amount of stress, you might find out if she is a member of any school sponsored clubs and join those clubs. If she is interested into theatre and is part of your schools theatre department take part in a production. You would not believe how many people in theatre end up dating each other.
One final point, while i know that most of us could talk about some things till the heat death of the universe and still have more to say, an interesting social tactic that i have an enormous amount of success with is giving almost no information and instead asking as much as I can about the other person-in other words let them do all the talking-. People like to talk a lot more about themselves than they care to hear about you or your interest in quantum computing-annoying I know but what can you do-.
If this is obvious in how you "come onto her", so to speak, she's likely to be turned off by that kind of approach. Not every young woman wants a knight in shining armor to come sweep her up into his arms - aside from being a touch patronizing, it also makes you seem more like a puppy dog than a hero. Some might find that appealing, but I've personally never met them.
It's true that she may be ignoring you out of disinterest. However, it's also likely that you simply haven't made much of an impression on her. If she is really that aloof, she may be flirting with jocks and their ilk simply to play the game - you shouldn't expect her intentions to be serious (although the possibility exists).
Sum's advice is solid - if she's in any club rosters, you might be able to converse with her simply on the grounds of a common interest. If not, however, it really depends on how you best approach other people. Having a sense of humor, however mild, would be helpful; it could help you come up with a suitable icebreaker, at which point you can try leading her on with questions about herself.
Most of all, though, try to keep two things in mind. First of all, what do you like about her? Think hard now - if your primary interest is simply to "protect" her from the world, a relationship may not even be worth pursuing in the first place; few lasting romances have been established on one-dimensional desires. And second, you're still in high school. You've got plenty of time to meet new people and strike up some new flames. If things don't pan out with her, try not to sweat it too much - you're young, and barring a fatal accident of some kind, you've got an entire life ahead of you.
Indeed this tactic is very good. It puts you in control but you dont dominate. And 9 out of 10 people like being asked questions. You achieve the most out of the reaction you give them, so that is definately something to think about. Be mature though. There is a difference between letting them run the convo and you throwing questions at them like a kid that discovered talking.
But really. If i were you i were you i would look around and not stare myself blind on one girl. Being friends with more girls is great for later on in puberty. When socialising isnt as easy as it is now at 14, trust me.
Good luck!
I feel emotionally connected to many people, not just one person and they aren't crushes, but then again I'm a mildly autistic person.
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