boredome wrote:
thalassophobia - the fear of large bodies of water
submechanophobia - the fear of manmade objects submerged in water
these two descriptions don't either fit me exactly, it doesn't really have to be a large body of water, it could be something like a river or pond. it's more the depth of it that i fear. and not just manmade objects, but things like sticks and tree stumps underwater scare the s**t out of me as well.
this is my most prominent fear. there's something just so f*****g messed up about our greater knowledge of mars' surface than our ocean floor. imagining being shipwrecked in the center of a deep blue expanse, with miles of undrinkable water surrounding and strange, unknown creatures below me, all gently rising and falling...rising and falling. or worse, when it is not gentle and all is stirred into a sea of froth. i think most if it is a fear of waves and swell deemed cymophobia. but even a glassy dark blue is creepy enough.
i am also creeped out by large text in all caps on a blank background, displaying ominous and cryptic messages.
another one of the few things that make my heart skip and make me jump are loud electronic buzzes, or beeps, or drones. my heater malfunctioning and screaming an ear shattering electronic buzz was one of the few things i can remember that nearly took my legs out from under me...wobbling. i jumped out of bed and
ran.
_________________
הייתי צוללת עכשיו למים
הכי, הכי עמוקים
לא לשמוע כלום
לא לדעת כלום
וזה הכל אהובי, זה הכל.