Feel that you will never get a gf or a bf?

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Joined: 8 Jan 2009
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 202
Location: NYC

12 Jan 2009, 11:12 pm

Ugh. I definitely feel like I'll never get a boyfriend. I feel like I have everything stacked against me:
I have the body issues because I'm overweight, and then I have body issues because I'm transgender. Then I have to worry about coming out to people. And I can't read people at all. I've no idea how to flirt. I don't go out enough to meet new people because I hate it, and my friends can't really introduce me to people because so many of my friends are older than me (I'm 20, they're in their 30s). I'm also really busy trying to figure out so many different things in my life, plus I value my martial arts training above all else, and it's hard to find somebody that has their own interest they value like that, or someone who will put up with that in a relationship.

I feel like I'm always the single one, especially when hanging out with married friends, and I would love to have the companionship, but I just don't see how it's going to happen.

musicislife
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23 Jan 2009, 6:08 pm

i have to say...yes difinately. a few of my friends are dead-set and determined to get me a boyfriend by graduation in June(hehe, not gonna happen!). so far the only people they have come up with for me to date are a couple of the most insane guys in our music department...the only problem with the is that they both have girlfriends. its kind of annoying because we'd end up going to different schools next year and we'd have to break up anyway so why not aviod any unnecisary pain?

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rennabella
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Joined: 25 Jan 2009
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26 Jan 2009, 2:34 pm

everyone!

I admit I thought precisely the same thing about a year ago.
However then I met my first boyfriend.
And trust me, the difficulty is getting started.
Now I find it very easy to get guys to like me and I am far less awkward about making moves etc.
The general case is that if you hang out a lot with a girl (I am directing this at guys here, because I feel that it is likely they are in the majority) just be friendly and then kiss them randomly at some point.
And I highly doubt they would do anything but kiss back.
Because they would be flattered! ^_^

robbokris
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26 Jan 2009, 3:28 pm

I always feel like I'm never going to get a gf, I used to get down and depressed about it but now I don't care very much (although everybody in my 6th from ALWAYS talks about sex, I'm sure they all have OCD's for talking about sex lol). Besides I have much more important things to care about. If a chance to get a gf comes I will take it but right now I'm not thinking about it very much.

UberElvis
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26 Jan 2009, 6:20 pm

rennabella wrote:

Whoa! Are you serious?! If this is true, all I've got to do now is just get a girl to be friends with and hang out with her a lot, and so on. I don't know if I'll get as far as even having a friend who is a girl that I can hang out with though...

pensieve
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27 Jan 2009, 12:05 am

rennabella wrote:

everyone!

I admit I thought precisely the same thing about a year ago.
However then I met my first boyfriend.
And trust me, the difficulty is getting started.
Now I find it very easy to get guys to like me and I am far less awkward about making moves etc.
The general case is that if you hang out a lot with a girl (I am directing this at guys here, because I feel that it is likely they are in the majority) just be friendly and then kiss them randomly at some point.
And I highly doubt they would do anything but kiss back.
Because they would be flattered! ^_^

This is true, after my first boyfriend I have had less difficulty getting guys to like me. It's probably all physical though. Well, that's the first step.

Hector
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27 Jan 2009, 3:56 am

UberElvis wrote:

rennabella wrote:

I feel as if this isn't really my place, but I am pretty skeptical of what she's saying. It's undoubtedly what many people do but I imagine there have to be more subtle cues than the above.

rennabella
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27 Jan 2009, 5:45 am

UberElvis wrote:

Dead serious! I promise you, it works so well. Most girls are quite insecure and just want someone to hit on them anyway

Silvervarg
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27 Jan 2009, 7:50 am

rennabella wrote:

UberElvis wrote:

Dead serious! I promise you, it works so well. Most girls are quite insecure and just want someone to hit on them anyway

*Hehe* I'm leading this, I had a girlfriend (seriusly) when I was around 4-6, we even went out on (real) dates. ^^

If I would take your advise, it would be tha last you ever saw of me, she'd kill me right away. :lol:

And no, no girlfriend around here.

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rennabella
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27 Jan 2009, 8:54 am

Silvervarg wrote:

And no, no girlfriend around here.

Aw, well I mean seriously, just give it some time.

I'm sure there are many girls who would go out with you.

Look for an Aspie girlfriend maybe??

Relicanth7
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27 Jan 2009, 9:12 am

I stay secluded in my room most of the time that im home.... Im quite an antiscocialite... so Apx. .0000000000000000000001% :lol:

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Prosser
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27 Jan 2009, 9:30 am

Relicanth7 wrote:

I stay secluded in my room most of the time that im home.... Im quite an antiscocialite... so Apx. .0000000000000000000001% :lol:

=D hi-five!

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UberElvis
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27 Jan 2009, 10:41 am

rennabella wrote:

UberElvis wrote:

Dead serious! I promise you, it works so well. Most girls are quite insecure and just want someone to hit on them anyway

Hmmm...I can see how that could work. But I'm a very regretting person. I might feel bad about it later. Especially if it doesn't work out. It could just be that all of this doesn't feel natural to me.

TheUnnamedOne
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27 Jan 2009, 8:06 pm

886 wrote:

Of course I never will. I'm way too goddamned shy and I fail to posess conversation starting skills. If I can't start a conversation no one will ever want to talk to me. =_=

I have that problem too. But sometimes that works in my favor (some cute girls will try 2 get me 2 talk..)

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GeorgeM
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27 Jan 2009, 8:48 pm

Relicanth7 wrote:

I stay secluded in my room most of the time that im home.... Im quite an antiscocialite...

me too

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Silvervarg
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28 Jan 2009, 9:27 am

rennabella wrote:

Silvervarg wrote:

And no, no girlfriend around here.

Aw, well I mean seriously, just give it some time.

I'm sure there are many girls who would go out with you.

Look for an Aspie girlfriend maybe??

I've haven't had a girlfriend in ~7 years. Not since 8th grade.
Yeah... and mayby some day I will find a pink hippo in my bathtub. :lol:

I don't care what she has or looks like, the "only" demand I have is that I love her.

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