Formerly known as the Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates, from the webcomic Schlock Mercenary, until the creator was threatened with lawsuit by the company behind Seven Habits of Highly Effective People and its sequelae, now known as the Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries. A few excerpts:
If violence wasn't your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.
A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head.
Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Take his fish away and tell him he's lucky just to be alive, and he'll figure out how to catch another fish for you to take tomorrow.
The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more, no less.
That which does not kill you has made a tactical error.
There is no "overkill". There is only "open fire" and "time to reload".
If you have to dispose of a few bodies, better that they belong to the enemy.
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Sodium is a metal that reacts explosively when exposed to water. Chlorine is a gas that'll kill you dead in moments. Together they make my fries taste good.