Jealousy/sibling rivalry

Post Reply New Topic

Not jealous of my brother at all, in some aspects hes worse than me, but he doesn't have AS. Hes just generally anti-social and uncaring for others, so it earns him no friends. I just wish I had some of the oppurtunities he had, going to an AS school with hardly anyone in it can hamper your chances for relationships.

I really appreciate my brother (though I'd never tell him that ^^). He acts as a sort of mouthpiece for me, talking to people when I really don't want to.

I get annoyed by my older brother sometimes.

1. He is more socially adept than me.
2. He uses a LOT of slang terminology. I'm 14, he's almost 16. (I had a bad habit of this last year, along with curse words. Now I don't do this so much)
3. He says words like "gay" and "ret*d". I hate it when he uses them because they both somewhat apply to my life and I feel that when he uses words like "gay" and "ret*d", he is specifically targeting me as well as the populations that which those terms would apply.
4. When I don't want to comply to something specific to the female gender, he says "But you're a girl". I explained to him that to certain individuals, biological sex does not interfere with their decisions or opinions of people, only in a more simplistic manner.

We are like night and day.

My identical twin brother is an NT, while I have AS and possibly ADD. I get jealous of his success every now and then with social stuff, but that's usually only when I've hit a rough patch in my life, kind of like right now. My parents have documented though, that I'm only about 18 months behind my brother, developmentally. So, basically, almost everything that he's got going for him right now in terms of independent living and stuff, I'll be at that point in about a year and a half from now.

Even though I was the first one to get a job and graduate high school (he dropped out and got his GED before becoming a licensed massage therapist), he lives in his own apartment with his girlfriend now, he can drive (he has his own car, too), pays his own rent, hangs out with a bunch of different friends still, and works more hours and makes more money than I do (although I've held the same job longer than his entire employment history). Everything that actually seems to matter, he seems to do better and more quickly than I do, at least right now.

But there're things that come naturally to me that he would probably tear his hair out over, I have a feeling. Creative stuff, mostly; like writing and music. I've never heard or seen him write any stories or compose any music, and I think that's mostly because he's just not as good at it (or as interested in it) as I am. He's a good technical writer, though, so we often joke that if we teamed up, we could write some amazing hard and/or philosophical sci-fi.

My situation is kind of the oposite. My sister is jealous of me because my parents treat us differently because we are different. She is an NT and does not understand me at all. Neither of us are favoured over the other but she gets so jealous because i get more attention then her because i need more help. With the social skills bit i wouldnt say i get jelous but i long to have friendships like my sisters do. Also i have another sister and i guess she kind of feels the same as my other one. She doesnt think its fair that i may not get in trouble for some of the things they would. She is also an NT. I am the only aspie in my family which is hard because i dont have anyone to relate to although my mum is very understanding and caring. I dont understand why my sisters get jealous of me though. I always say to mum why would they be jealous of me? Aspergers is not something that is easy to live with that and among the other problems i have. Why would anyone want my life? That really gets on my nerves because they dont understand how hard it is for me to cope with being who i am.