My mom is very protective. please help.
Albirea
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Ruthless generalizations such as these are never true! Maybe you should be the one to reassess your maturity.
Anyways, this is the last I'll say on this issue, to prevent a needless flame war. Pcolyn, I hope you are able to work things out with your mother.
I'm sorry, but part of NTs are gender roles.
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Last edited by Albirea on 19 May 2012, 8:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.
OliveOilMom
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You're 15 and your mother is reading the forum to keep up with what you say? Is that how she saw what Muslimmetalhead said? Also, how would that get you in trouble? I have a 15yo, she is my youngest. I have absolutely no desire to sneak behind her on the internet and see what she's saying and who she's saying it to and what other people are saying to her.
Raising responsible children requires taking a risk and trusting them, especially with small inconsequensial things like chatting on a forum on the internet. While it isn't the same invasion of privacy as reading your emails or private messages, etc, it's still hovering entirely too much to allow you to learn any kind of responsibility or limits yourself.
I'm assuming you are high functioning, as am I, and if thats true then you don't need someone holding your hand, making every minor decision for you, or wiping your behind, any more than an NT kid does. My kids were raised with a normal amount of freedom and privacy and responsibility, and they have turned out well. Yes, my oldest is having some problems right now, but they didn't start until he met that girl and he was 20 then and not exactly a child. If your mother reads this and says something along the lines of "See? Thats what raising them like that causes them to turn out like!" I'd like to point out that my 18 year old daughter graduates from high school this Thursday night, is an honor student, popular, never been in trouble, is responsible, has freedom to do what she wants, knows right from wrong, and has a very happy life. She also got engaged last summer to her bf of five years, while they were on a cruise to Mexico, Jamaica and the Cayman Islands. Which she went on with her bf who was 22 and she was 17 and just two years older than you. Another friend of hers went to Europe with a friend when she was 18. Those are normal things to allow your child to do. Just because my son got involved with a nut doesn't mean that giving kids freedom and not keeping them as five year olds will cause them to turn out that way.
I'd ask your mother what bad thing she expects to happen if you play an M rated game? Will you suddenly join a gang? Start selling drugs or stolen firearms? Will you drop out of school and become a grafitti artist in the inner city? Will you forget to brush your teeth before bed, or possibly even decide to stay up after lights out? What horrible thing will happen if she allows you do play a game that 99% of other 15 year olds play? I know many parents and I have yet to meet one that bases their decisions on those arbitrary rating systems. Maybe a parent is against violent games so they don't let their kids play them. Maybe a parent knows that the kid has bad dreams after horror movies so they don't let them watch them. I've never met a parent that said "Well, some group somewhere feels that game/movie/album is too mature for you and would harm you, so I must protect you from it!" I have met some nutcases who wouldn't let their kids watch or read Harry Potter because it was "of the devil" but those folks don't believe in video games either so that's moot.
Try and have a calm, rational, reasonable conversation with her about why she feels that you shouldn't play the game. I don't know you, or how you act, but I can tell you that if you can't have a calm, reasonable and rational conversation with her at 15, then I wouldn't be letting you have any video games at all.
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ValentineWiggin
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ROFL @ a 15 year old sexist declaring all of womankind like "children"
You can't write irony that beautiful.
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ROFL @ a 15 year old sexist declaring all of womankind like "children"
You can't write irony that beautiful.
Okay, but isn't the gender role of the man supposed to be the "protector", "backbone of the family", "calm", "responsible",etc.?
That is how men earn respect. Women earn respect...you know what, how exactly DO women earn respect?
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Delphiki
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ROFL @ a 15 year old sexist declaring all of womankind like "children"
You can't write irony that beautiful.
Okay, but isn't the gender role of the man supposed to be the "protector", "backbone of the family", "calm", "responsible",etc.?
That is how men earn respect. Women earn respect...you know what, how exactly DO women earn respect?
Are you from the 50's?
gender roles are man made, meaning they are made up. Women earn respect in the same ways males do. Are stay at home dad's lazy then?
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Well you can go with that if you want.
Albirea
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ROFL @ a 15 year old sexist declaring all of womankind like "children"
You can't write irony that beautiful.
Okay, but isn't the gender role of the man supposed to be the "protector", "backbone of the family", "calm", "responsible",etc.?
That is how men earn respect. Women earn respect...you know what, how exactly DO women earn respect?
Women earn respect by getting a good education, having satisfying jobs, and prospering, just like men do.
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OliveOilMom
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And women can earn respect by staying home and raising children and taking care of the house, if thats what they choose to do.
I personally respect people for their character and ethics rather than their education, career choices, etc.
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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.
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Thanks for listening
ROFL @ a 15 year old sexist declaring all of womankind like "children"
You can't write irony that beautiful.
Okay, but isn't the gender role of the man supposed to be the "protector", "backbone of the family", "calm", "responsible",etc.?
That is how men earn respect. Women earn respect...you know what, how exactly DO women earn respect?
muslimmetalhead, STOP IT. you are being sexist and offensive, which you were already reminded of. if you cannot stop being sexist then you are on the wrong forum.
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ROFL @ a 15 year old sexist declaring all of womankind like "children"
You can't write irony that beautiful.
Okay, but isn't the gender role of the man supposed to be the "protector", "backbone of the family", "calm", "responsible",etc.?
That is how men earn respect. Women earn respect...you know what, how exactly DO women earn respect?
muslimmetalhead, STOP IT. you are being sexist and offensive, which you were already reminded of. if you cannot stop being sexist then you are on the wrong forum.
What IS sexist? Sexist is being discriminatory, correct? I am just talking about gender roles. I understand you are trying to be patient. but please explain how I am being sexist and the others who are talking about gender roles are not. I never said the genders SHOULD be this way, I am just talking about how a lot of society expects them to be.
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kill231
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ROFL @ a 15 year old sexist declaring all of womankind like "children"
You can't write irony that beautiful.
Okay, but isn't the gender role of the man supposed to be the "protector", "backbone of the family", "calm", "responsible",etc.?
That is how men earn respect. Women earn respect...you know what, how exactly DO women earn respect?
muslimmetalhead, STOP IT. you are being sexist and offensive, which you were already reminded of. if you cannot stop being sexist then you are on the wrong forum.
What IS sexist? Sexist is being discriminatory, correct? I am just talking about gender roles. I understand you are trying to be patient. but please explain how I am being sexist and the others who are talking about gender roles are not. I never said the genders SHOULD be this way, I am just talking about how a lot of society expects them to be.
Stereotypes are bad muslimmetalhead and they should not be used.
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Delphiki
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ROFL @ a 15 year old sexist declaring all of womankind like "children"
You can't write irony that beautiful.
Okay, but isn't the gender role of the man supposed to be the "protector", "backbone of the family", "calm", "responsible",etc.?
That is how men earn respect. Women earn respect...you know what, how exactly DO women earn respect?
muslimmetalhead, STOP IT. you are being sexist and offensive, which you were already reminded of. if you cannot stop being sexist then you are on the wrong forum.
What IS sexist? Sexist is being discriminatory, correct? I am just talking about gender roles. I understand you are trying to be patient. but please explain how I am being sexist and the others who are talking about gender roles are not. I never said the genders SHOULD be this way, I am just talking about how a lot of society expects them to be.
You compared women to children. Are you not seeing how that bothers people?
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Well you can go with that if you want.
no muslimmetalhead, sexism is not just discrimination. sexism involves making negative generalisations about a gender as a whole, for example saying that men are abusers or women are children. if you look at the top of the Love & Dating forum, DW_a_mom started a sticky thread a while back that explains very well.
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OliveOilMom
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Muslimmetalhead,
The "gender roles" that you are talking about were basically abandoned in the late 60's early 70's. As a matter of fact, since women entered the work force en masse during WWII, there haven't been as many cut and dried gender roles in American society.
Yes, during the 50's we see lots of tv shows with women as housewives, but that's not actually how it was. There were many women working then and going to college so they could work. By the mid 60's more women had careers than ever. In the 70's women broke through the "glass ceiling" to become executives and administrators. My own mother was promoted to hospital administration in the early 70's and not as a secretary!
By the late 70's and early 80's you would be hard pressed to find a community where the majority of women were housewives. Women were and are expected to pull their own weight and contribute to the household income as much as men. It's not at all common that a woman decides to say home and be a housewife now. I chose it when my kids were little, and now that the youngest is 15, I live in an area with no jobs so working isn't an option for me or I would go back to work.
In some places, such as the Deep South, you will find some of the "gender roles" expectations that you bring up. Down here, even a corporate executive who is a woman is expected to "play the part" of the woman in terms of either cooking, cleaning, playing hostess to guests etc or arranging for that to be done by others. We are still, in some places, treated as "second in command" in the marriage. A mechanic or realtor or contractor will usually want to talk to the husband before starting work or finalizing a deal. The good side of that is if we have a flat, or' need a jumpstart, or need something heavy moved, we can usually easily ask any random guy walking by to help us and he will, if he doesn't offer to do that for us first.
So honestly, your ideas of "gender roles" is pretty incorrect for this day and age. If you would be interested in watching the show "Mad Men" on AMC, that will show you exactly how women were treated and what was expected of us back in the early 60's. It was right before things started to really change. You can find it on Stagevu or Blinxx, and you should start watching the first season. Things have changed a lot by the time of the later seasons.
You mayy not mean to be sexist, but to those of us who either lived through those times as adults, or those of us who saw our mothers have to prove themselves and be discriminated against back then, it does rub the wrong way.
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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.
The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com
Thanks for listening
ROFL @ a 15 year old sexist declaring all of womankind like "children"
You can't write irony that beautiful.
Okay, but isn't the gender role of the man supposed to be the "protector", "backbone of the family", "calm", "responsible",etc.?
That is how men earn respect. Women earn respect...you know what, how exactly DO women earn respect?
muslimmetalhead, STOP IT. you are being sexist and offensive, which you were already reminded of. if you cannot stop being sexist then you are on the wrong forum.
What IS sexist? Sexist is being discriminatory, correct? I am just talking about gender roles. I understand you are trying to be patient. but please explain how I am being sexist and the others who are talking about gender roles are not. I never said the genders SHOULD be this way, I am just talking about how a lot of society expects them to be.
You compared women to children. Are you not seeing how that bothers people?
Okay, I couldn't explain it back then, but basically, men are supposed to be able to pique the interest of the ladies by our mature manner.
That is usualy how it works.
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Delphiki
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