How to tell my parents.....

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chlov
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29 Jan 2013, 7:02 am

melysllew wrote:

chlov wrote:

Now, I don't want to be rude, but wouldn't have your parents understood long before that you're not a "typical" child? Most parents do. It's easy to understand. They may alredy know.

True, but i am very good at masking my feelings in my opinion

Even when you were a little child, a child of 5-6? I think you couldn't. No human can.
According to my shrink AS is easier to recognize during childhood, because during this time of your life you don't have the necessary skills to control your behaviour. According to the shrink, it's harder to recognize in some teenagers and adults, because they develop "cope strategies", "copying" others. Whatever. I am a teen and I still can't mimic the others.
Your parents surely noticed something "different" in you during your childhood, if you have AS as you think, unless they never noticed you and they passed all their time far from you.

28847842769377
Hummingbird

Joined: 24 Jan 2013
Age: 24
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30 Jan 2013, 8:59 am

chlov wrote:

melysllew wrote:

chlov wrote:

Now, I don't want to be rude, but wouldn't have your parents understood long before that you're not a "typical" child? Most parents do. It's easy to understand. They may alredy know.

True, but i am very good at masking my feelings in my opinion

I'm in the same situation as them (except I've only suspected for a few months).

I don't know if anything like this is the case with melysllew, but my parents dismiss things as being "side effects" of being "gifted" (my parents did notice something "different" but they attributed that to being gifted) and the rest just being "difficult"

UDAspie13
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02 Apr 2013, 9:07 pm

melysllew wrote:

UDAspie13 wrote:

I feel for you...
I have known about autism since I was seven or eight (one of my ongoing obsessions is neurological and genetic disorders)
Didn't pick up on how much it can sound like me till a year and a half ago.
I can't tell my parents anything. When a thought goes from my head to my mouth, it loses about 50% of its meaning.
I have an IQ of 145+. I am really smart and nothing really wrong with me.
For every person I am talking to my IQ goes down 5 points per person per years over 3 years older they are than me. So talking to someone who is 13 means my IQ goes down about 5 pts and talking to an adult 45+ my IQ goes down approx 45 points.
I haven't told my parents that I have lost friends and if I tell them now then I will have a LOT of explaining to do.

I have poor executive function (takes a lot of effort to start and finish projects, and my timing is always REALLY off.)
If it doesn't interest me then I can't stay focused. It gets worse when I'm tired.

When I was five I randomly hugged people. A boy in my preschool class who I didn't even like, my piano teacher, a mall security guard.

Sorry after all that I don't have any advice. I am terrible at psychology (except for the reverse variety, and even that backfires about 60% of the time.) I only get your viewpoint because mine is the same, and even if you had told me about your parent's psyches, I wouldn't have been able to use that information effectively.
If your relationship with your mom is good then talk to her.
I would recommend your mother, personally, but I can't talk to my Dad about anything (he's kind of a know-it-all. He tried to tell me that my bikes tires were a different size then they were and wouldn't accept correction.)

All of that is exactly the same with me. I have the same interest in neurological and genetic disorders and, although i am smart, i don't have that high IQ. The only main difference is i have never hone round hugging people...

I forgot to add that that was an online test. I've never had a formal IQ test.

iliketrees
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05 Apr 2013, 4:17 pm

In exactly the same situation, but I actually somehow got to the topic of autism with my mum. She recognises that I have displayed strong autistic traits since I was 2, but has never actually taken me to get diagnosed. I again, somehow, got the courage to ask her why I've never been diagnosed. She just says I'm too high functioning and probably just a bit autistic. Thing is, she doesn't know me. She never raised me, never spent time with me when I was a kid. My nan did, and she's from a time before all this was understood, so made nothing of it, and I was just being "bad" when I had meltdowns. I've always shown autistic traits.. but they're never been picked up. My mum thinks I have friends. Haha, how amusing. I don't know how to tell her I'm not as high functioning and she expects, and challenge so much that she takes me to get diagnosed to see who's right. Thing is.. well, I don't know how to do this. I'm planning it out, every move, and I suggest you do the same. Think of possible questions to ask, and what questions your family will ask. Try to figure out responses. When you've figured it all out, start very slightly on the topic, but gradually make it get deeper, and ask your family how they see you, and if they see you as being autistic.

melysllew
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 26 Jun 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 62

13 Apr 2013, 4:21 pm

chlov wrote:

melysllew wrote:

chlov wrote:

Now, I don't want to be rude, but wouldn't have your parents understood long before that you're not a "typical" child? Most parents do. It's easy to understand. They may alredy know.

True, but i am very good at masking my feelings in my opinion

Yes they did say i was quiet once when i was younger, and i know that you would think that my parents would have noticed earlier, but loads of people are diagnosed in their teens or later. That could mean their parents didn't notice.

melysllew
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13 Apr 2013, 4:24 pm

UDAspie13 wrote:

melysllew wrote:

UDAspie13 wrote:

I forgot to add that that was an online test. I've never had a formal IQ test.

Same here. But recently because i'm doing my GCSEs, i have noticed some of my grades slipping. I put most of that down to stress.

Room217
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Joined: 23 Apr 2013
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24 Apr 2013, 10:53 pm

I remember the first time I heard about AS, and I spent hours googling it the first day. I went out to buy a journal as soon as I could and took as many notes as I could. I was at the point you are. After six months of research, and some push and shove from a friend, I finally decided to sit down and write a letter. Since writing comes much more naturally than talking for me, I decided to write a letter explaining what Asperger's was, why I thought I might have it, and the problems I sometimes faced because of it. When I was done, it was like I had already told them everything in writing, so I just sat them down one day and started saying the same things that were in the letter. Because it didn't feel like it was the first time I was telling somebody, it wasn't as hard to do.

You could also talk to a friend or respected adult about it. Sometimes it's easier to tell someone else before your parents, and they may be able to offer advice and/or support.

***As a side note, I never actually showed that letter to anybody. Nor do I know where it is. If you feel uncomfortable talking about it to them, the letter thing can be a great start because you can tell them without really telling them. And if you're still having a hard time sitting them down, giving them the letter also works.

Hollie1996
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26 May 2013, 4:21 am

Maybe you should write them a small letter and leave it on their bed that way when it is bedtime they will see it and read it.

Wyudd
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Joined: 25 May 2013
Age: 26
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26 May 2013, 5:29 pm

Told my mother a million times about getting tested and things like that but she never listens to me...
I'm 98% sure I have Aspergers. :salut:

melysllew
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 26 Jun 2012
Gender: Female
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02 Jan 2014, 1:35 pm

Wyudd wrote:

Told my mother a million times about getting tested and things like that but she never listens to me...
I'm 98% sure I have Aspergers. :salut:

Same here

_________________
"insert any Doctor Who quote here ..................."
Your Aspie score: 155 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 37 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie

melysllew
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 26 Jun 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 62

02 Jan 2014, 1:37 pm

Thanks to everyone who posted help here (i know this is old). I have finally told my parents at age 16 but it almost seems like they have forgotten about it...

_________________
"insert any Doctor Who quote here ..................."
Your Aspie score: 155 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 37 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie

accountinglad
Deinonychus

Joined: 4 Dec 2013
Age: 31
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03 Jan 2014, 9:36 am

tell a grandparent or someone that you feel comfortable with

siraidanforrest
Emu Egg
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Joined: 31 Dec 2013
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Posts: 3

04 Jan 2014, 12:36 pm

Do what I did and get super freaked out and have anxiety attacks until they take you to a Phsychiatrist

melysllew
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 26 Jun 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 62

08 Jan 2014, 4:16 pm

siraidanforrest wrote:

Do what I did and get super freaked out and have anxiety attacks until they take you to a Phsychiatrist

Not sure if that is a conventional idea, but I could always use it as an "if all else fails" thing...

_________________
"insert any Doctor Who quote here ..................."
Your Aspie score: 155 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 37 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie

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