Seriously whats wrong with looking at a girl?

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You shouldn't have done that asking is ok but if you get a no leave it. You had only just got back together that could have triggered her to leave you as you rushed things.

Lesson was learnt.

Actually didn't realize I was pressuring her THAT badly, as in couldn't read emotions/typical asperger's difficulty, especially in a completely new situation, but on the other hand, should have gave up on the first no.

Thing is, I was confused because there was a few things she discouraged me from doing, but at the same time then asked "Why did you stop?
" if I stopped and subtly encouraged me to keep going.

But no, it's because she realized she wasn't actually attracted to me/didn't love me that way for the second time.

Because I did apologize immediately after I got home the next morning and from what she said I was forgiven, but she brought it up a few times later when angry with me (aka after the break-up I tried my best to stop speaking to her, but she wouldn't leave me alone and kept thinking I was still attracted to her. I already was frustrated she broke up with me for the second time as it is, but by consistently being annoying and approaching me asking why I said to my friends i was frustrated she broke up with me severeal weeks/months ago, it started to make me just hate her guts.)

Women.

My poor experiences sabotaged my second relationship as I thought it was going to fail too, and because of my constant anxiety and stress and worry, it did.

The problem with my first relationship was, no matter what my attitude was, positive, neutral or negative, something bad did happen.

I kept telling myself 'she does like you, she does care about you. You're doing fine. You're doing your best to be a good guy and she even admitted to you she's the best boyfriend she's ever had, etc.'.

Both times I'd say this to myself late at night/early in the morning before school, when I couldn't sleep and worried she'd dump me, and the next day she did, both the first and second time...

"were the pjs cute at least?"

...Yeahhh...I guess.

Thing is I wasn't thinking clearly at the time.

I didn't want to go as far as she thinks I did, despite having protection given to me by my mother.

She continued to think I wanted to go all the way that night when I kept telling her that wasn't the case.

The furthest I would have ever wanted to go was continuing 'cuddling' in bed but with her PJs off.....

I'm not going to act like I have full self-control with these things, because like a lot of males when in the moment like that you might get a bit overwhelmed and try to go further than she wants to go.

I also screwed up in the second relationship by pressuring her once....(just for a first kiss). I did take no for an answer far more quickly, though still not fast enough.

I felt absolutely horrified with myself and no matter how much she could tell me it's fine and I'm over-stressing about it and i am forgiven I couldn't fricken stop.

Just made me feel like i've learnt nothing...

No, I just can't talk anymore about this for now, I'm quite upset from bad memories.

My second girlfriend was genuinely a great gal, so if she thinks I was a bad guy (pressured her once too early, tried rushing things as well a bit, but I did slow down on our last date and just took it easy and chilled and didn't stress at all). I'm happy she can be single now, as she was actually quite a happy and confident and independent girl single anyway. Bless her.

Ahh if only it wasn't 9:30 here, I'd have probably opened up a bottle of alcohol by now.

Well I did that the other week.... read the situation completely wrong. Girl was dancing very suggestively with me like rubbing her body up and down on me and doing other things. But she just wanted a dance with me...... horrified I tried to kiss her, apparently touching her boobs and arse was fine but kissing no lol. TBH Not sure how a NT would have read that situation :S

So expect that to happen in the future!!