Cutting

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I used to cut, I have celebrated my 2 years no cutting August 3, 2009. I started cutting at 12 years old until I was 18. I went from cutting when angry or upset or had a fight with someone or the bullying or something. Than I was depressed from 13 to 18 just depressed every day. So, I went to cutting one in awhile to cutting, when I got the urge as well as when upset or angry, then to doing it every day. I have markers on my skin from many objects used. I never cut to kill myself. I cut to hurt my self on the outside and to get my mind off the pain and hurt inside me. Finally senior year after I turned 18 I wanted to commit suicide, some odd reason I told my speech teacher was in and out of a mental hospital for 6 months. Though it was the best thing but also the worst thing for me. It was a wake up call to my mom to stop pushing off my depression and the high school and other people calling saying I need help and her yelling at me. It was a wake up call I needed to go. I went to a crisis center they said I was fine but after thinking while I was there I shouted no I am going to kill myself I need help. So, they basically drugged me up till I was a zombie. But actually all that bad stuff there, has lead me to a better life now. I haven't been depressed in the longest time ever in my life, I haven't cut. In a year I haven't done other self-mutilation. I haven't thought about suicide in 2 years and such.

But yeah, I have cut, and I did overcome it.

I'm on a pill (it's a herb) named St John's Wort and I am happier than I have been in months, even on the non depressed days. I no longer need to cut. It's amazing, I love life now. Life is a total euphoria.

i used to cut when i was in middle school and i was suicidal for much longer than that dating back to EARLY elementary school back then was when it was the worst for me to deal with life due to AS and the pain relieved my stress and anger so i continued until my mom caught me and threatened to put me in a mental hospital

I took part in a whole bunch of self-mutilation rituals. I've cut myself using anything sharp I could find, I've punched/scratched myself in the face, and I've poked myself with sharp objects. I started doing this when I was 12 because of an identity crisis I was undergoing. I did it on and off over the next several years mainly because of my low self-esteem.

I've sort of outgrown it, but that's not to say that I wouldn't do it again should I ever find myself in a very stressful situation. I have done it recently, but I really don't do it much anymore.

I'm a cutter still, last time was a few months ago and I cut 28 times. Once I started I just couldn't stop. So much stress to release and so many others things all weighing down. I haven't cut since but almost every cut I've ever made has left it's scar, and in turn left it's mark on me.

I have cut since my uncle died when I was 12.
I haven't done in over a month now which is good so far.

It's for a multitude of reasons for me; it's about frustration, rage, despair, guilt, derealisation/depersonalisation etc etc
When it's sadness guilt despair, it can be a punative thing, or when it's anger frustration restlessness I know that it's socially unacceptable to act out and so avoid doing so by internalising
When it's numbness... Numbness is a really scary feeling for me and I freak out and do the only thing I can think of that works...
If I'm too up, it calms me, if I'm too low, it shakes me back to life. Basically whatever altered state I'm in it brings me back to the baseline.

I really wish I knew a different way to go about things because my friends that know get really scared for me and I feel bad.

I keep it very much to myself. No, my parents do not know.
My dad has joked about my scars sometimes and doesn't know that that's a real trigger for me.
My mum accused me in the car and in front of my best friend of "playing at" self harming.