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Eye Contact?

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Aimless
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06 Sep 2010, 3:26 pm

sylbao wrote:
Ok, so loads of Asperger have some problems with eye-contact. But, why, exactly ? It would be interesting if more posts weren't just "yes I dislike it". I think this is very complex and various. That's why trying to share deep experiences could be great.
I tend to avoid eye contact because that stimulates the others, and I'm afraid of that, of them coming to me, and of me too uncomfortable for reacting properly...


There was a thread a while back (last year?) that dealt more specifically with this. You could find it (it would be hard) or just ask people why. I personally feel very vulnerable and unprotected, like prey that has been spotted by predator. Other people find it too distracting.



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06 Sep 2010, 3:29 pm

I have the ability to focus on the other person's eyes whilst listening, but I cannot look at the eyes of the person while I am talking myself.


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06 Sep 2010, 3:33 pm

Basperger wrote:
- to concentrate on what the other is saying (visual information distorts audible information)


Yup, that's pretty much me. It's pretty much a would you rather me look at you or actually remember what you said? kind of deal.



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06 Sep 2010, 3:39 pm

Helixstein wrote:
I have the ability to focus on the other person's eyes whilst listening, but I cannot look at the eyes of the person while I am talking myself.
I hadn't thought about the difference but I believe that's true of me too. Maybe because talking/revealing equals exposure/vulnerability?



Helixstein
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06 Sep 2010, 4:54 pm

Aimless wrote:
Helixstein wrote:
I have the ability to focus on the other person's eyes whilst listening, but I cannot look at the eyes of the person while I am talking myself.
I hadn't thought about the difference but I believe that's true of me too. Maybe because talking/revealing equals exposure/vulnerability?


Yes, also a dramatic amount of thinking is required when talking, compared to the processing skills of listening. I find also that if I look in somebody's eyes whilst I am talking, then I stammer and my vocabulary is too basic.


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UnderINK
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14 Sep 2010, 10:09 pm

I feel like it's intrusive, not toward me, but toward them. I feel like it's rude to stare at someone while you talk to them. I know eye contact is better for talking, but I just *can't* talk when I look someone straight in the eyes. I stumble and stutter and lose my place in my thoughts a lot. It's just . . . uncomfortable. It makes me feel weird. It's hard to explain.



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15 Sep 2010, 12:02 am

UnderINK wrote:
I feel like it's intrusive, not toward me, but toward them. I feel like it's rude to stare at someone while you talk to them. I know eye contact is better for talking, but I just *can't* talk when I look someone straight in the eyes. I stumble and stutter and lose my place in my thoughts a lot. It's just . . . uncomfortable. It makes me feel weird. It's hard to explain.


There is no need to explain, as I find this fully rational and comprehensible.


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