Ever had a friend not want to be a friend anymore ?

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princesseli
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12 Jan 2008, 2:44 am

aspiegirl2 wrote:

I had the exact same thing happen. I had a friend who I gave my phone number to, since it was the end of the year and everyone gave their phone numbers out to everyone in their yearbooks in middle school (lol). It was during the next 4 or so years that I realized I made a grave mistake...she kept calling me (even if I was gone) and calling me and calling me and calling me...you get the idea; sometimes even 12 or 15 times a day during the summers! I have Asperger's Syndrome, and even I know it's not okay to just keep calling someone until they answer the phone (unless it's an emergency). She had a little autism herself, and said that she was a little suicidal at one point in time (so I didn't know what to say to her and I didn't want to be hypocritical). I mean, I know that people sometimes call people that many times a day, but that's a mutual relationship! Then she kept wanting to talk for a couple hours and kept asking me or implying that she wanted to come over. I invited her the first few times that she asked, but then she always kept wanting to come over all the time and all she ever wanted to do was sit down and watch movies. Since she was the guest I let her do whatever she wanted to do to be polite, but then my head always hurt after watching 9 or 10 hours of movies, which isn't my thing usually. It went on for years and then I didn't want to be around her anymore; I felt really annoyed by her but I wasn't sure as to what to do or how she'd react to tell her that I didn't like her anymore or to stop calling me, or it would take many years to get over that disliking for calling too much. I didn't want to be hypocritical either because I didn't like being avoided or I didn't like it when I liked someone and they didn't like me back. But on the other hand I did truly make an effort and after awhile this calling all the time thing got very old. I'll just say that I'm glad I'm going off to college where she can't call me like that anymore.

Wow I done the exact same thing but now I know better not to do that. I would call my friend like 6-8 times a day and she would only pick up like only 10% of the time. But she was really nice about it. At the time we wernt close of anything but the following year, I hung out with her a lot and she was totally cool with that. About the whole friend not wanting to be a friend thing, that has happened to me so many times. In the begining when I started making friends 2 yrs ago, I called people way too much and I only learned to stop doing that like 6-8 months ago. Man im stupid. Now I've improved with that a lot. I dont call anyone more then 3 times a day and the only person I do that with is my only close friend. It always happens when I dont see people anymore and people just want to stop the contact but I dont umm allow that. It be better if people kinda tell me like whats going on then leaving me in the dark. Its really confusing for me. One thing I always hate about friendships.

kenpachi7
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16 Jan 2008, 4:37 am

i feel ya princesseli, i hate how people dont just tell you if somethings wrong. In regards to friends if I did make them, I lost them within a year. My senior year in hs i made a few friends that im still friends with, but I was depressed a lot in hs so I lost some that way too. The way I dealt with my social problems in highschool was by becoming a bad@$$ jerk which is a very bad idea. I've learned that, and know I try to be as nice as possible even though people are still @$$es and Im still very depressed. I'm very glad I found this site, its good to know there are others like me out there.

886
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16 Jan 2008, 2:16 pm

There's the infamous "I'm getting my phone taken away, so don't text me anymore, I'm in trouble!" And of course the friends who somehow repeatedly lose your phone number.

Helek_Aphel
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16 Jan 2008, 4:58 pm

Oh yes.
That's definitely happened to me.

matrix
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16 Jan 2008, 9:45 pm

886 wrote:

There's the infamous "I'm getting my phone taken away, so don't text me anymore, I'm in trouble!" And of course the friends who somehow repeatedly lose your phone number.

Had that happen. Or "I am not allowed to call people". B to the S. I have plenty of contacts I rarely call as well, except for the time I called everyone to go to Wikipedia for a copy of the Communist Manifesto for history class. Whoopdy-doo. :nerdy:

I am very convinced that we aspies must take a little bit of socializing to give the clouding continuum of thought a breather.

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matrix
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16 Jan 2008, 11:00 pm

Brittany2907 wrote:

I have had a few people do this to me.

I hate it with a passion :evil:

People are your friends on a superficial level until they really get to know who you are and then they decide that you are "different" and cant accept that so they dont want to be around you anymore.

Yep, we all know the phrase, "People fear what they do not understand." Youth conformity (commonly known as marketing) is a multi-billion dollar industry. Media markets peddle a fear of complexity that we have. If people cannot face complexity, they cannot face their fear. This may be just a mere phobia.

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886
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17 Jan 2008, 1:31 am

matrix wrote:

886 wrote:

There's the infamous "I'm getting my phone taken away, so don't text me anymore, I'm in trouble!" And of course the friends who somehow repeatedly lose your phone number.

I am very convinced that we aspies must take a little bit of socializing to give the clouding continuum of thought a breather.

Yep.

I just remembered another great one.

"My house doesn't have a phone."

aspiebeauty87
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17 Jan 2008, 4:57 pm

yes, I have a hard time making friend so I get that a lot, it hurts sometimes

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LesMisGuy
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04 Aug 2009, 12:04 am

Yep. It hurts. But, it's only happen a few times but one of them was a really close friend and then he just suddenly didn't want to be friends any more. Not really sure why either... :/ But whatever I guess, I still feel a bit depressed about it every once in a while but I have some really good friends and I'm glad I do so that helps.

kissmyarrrtichoke
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19 Aug 2009, 10:23 am

One of my best friends recently decided he doesn't wanna be friends cos he heard I'd been saying rumours about us as a couple, when I hadn't. I guess in my conversations about our friendship, I left too much to the imagination. He won't listen to me and has sent me the most hurtful and insulting messages. He also called me a 'seriously autistic ADHD attention seeker' which is not true, I am not seriously autistic, I have asperger's, may or may not have ADD/ADHD and I don't intend to be an attention seeker, I often hate attention from people, but I guess its the result of having a 16 year old severely disabled sister who has taken all the attention. He just doesn't believe me when I tell him about my AS, he thinks I'm making it all up and when we were talking used to be horrible about my film obsession.
Really upsetting me atm cos I feel a part of me is missing cos he was very important to me, I knew we were drifting apart a bit and I used to have a crush on him, and now he won't believe me. Truly hurts like nothing else. Guess this is when you find out who your real friends are :'(

Also my only friend in junior school would be friends with me when she felt like it. Sometimes she would be with me, others she would just leave me on my own.
I also was the runt of the year in secondary school, everyone hated me I think cos I wasn't 'cool' whatever that is and people didn't want anything to do with me cos they wanted to be 'cool' and I think I dragged a couple of my friends down into this super-uncool level I appeared to be at.

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pigeon309
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22 Aug 2009, 4:36 pm

When I finally made a friend in middle school, she stopped hanging out with me 'cause her other friends thought I was too weird.

visnofskygirl
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23 Aug 2009, 6:59 am

I had a friend when I was in 4th grade...but during 5th grade,we're not classmates anymore 'cuz she was transfered to a regular basic education curriculum...from that time on,she never talked to me (we have two kinds of curiculum,one section for science-math oriented curriculum and around 3 sections for regular basic education curriculum)

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lease29
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07 Aug 2010, 6:27 am

The only friend I have at the moment I have known for 2 years has a funny attitude to me at times. She knows I am not that social and she has sent me slightly rude text and sometimes never replies to my texts.

I found out what she is really like recently and I am sorry to say that she isn't a true friend. We are slowly drifting apart. Throughout my life the friends who I thought were my friends have been nasty to me and then they would stop hanging out with me.

I don't understand friendship that's why I don't have any friends :cry:

Mike1
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07 Aug 2010, 9:17 am

I had an NT friend when I was in middle school for five years. He broke contact with me after we left middle school and he won't add me to his friends on Facebook. I was a loyal friend. One year I showed up to his birthday party even when no one else did. He was sometimes a real a** to me by calling me bad names and kicking me in the crotch even though I was nice to him.

I had another friend with AS for about ten years. We would hang out almost every day. He would secretly vandalize my stuff without me knowing. He just wanted to hang out with me to use my stuff and eat my food. I would even buy stuff for his birthday without being encouraged to by my parents with my own money even though he got me nothing for my birthday. I would always be nice to him no matter what he did to me and he stabbed me in the back.

Now I am a loner because I have realized that there is no such thing as true friendship, it was only in my mind. No one ever actually does anything out of good will. They just want something like money, possessions, and popularity. The main goal of friendship is to take more than you give and the one who gives the most is always the one being taken advantage of. There is no way to have true friendship. You're either being taken advantage of or you're taking advantage of them.

Tiggurix
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07 Aug 2010, 11:06 am

No, but I have been one of these, for reasons too complicated to discuss at length on this board.

Tiggurix
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07 Aug 2010, 11:11 am

Mike1 wrote:

I disagree with you, Mike. Though you may have had unfortunate experiences in regards to friendship, mine have been by-and-large great! I have much the same mindset you used to have, and I have plenty of good friends and acquaintances. If I had known you, I'm certain we could have a very good friendship, as I would most certainly remember your birthday and send you gifts! But, alas, we will probably never meet.

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