WHAT "sexual urges"?!

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thought you did

Guess you misunderstood. I was only pointing out the duality in stating being ok with something I'm not, and then insisting I am. If they were so okay with it, they wouldn't keep having second thoughts.

But we all know it's really asexuality (or low sex drive) that they're not okay with. That's the reason people insist you must be a closet gay when you don't show much interest in the opposite sex.

I have the urge to father children and to have intercorse but I am searching for someone perfect for me any less would not do... I can't see the point of one night stands.

I do love to roll around in my bed and make strange noises, but not with other people.

Good to see another asexual. There are a lot more female asexuals than male for some reason.

Scorpileo wrote:

I have the urge to father children and to have intercorse but I am searching for someone perfect for me any less would not do... I can't see the point of one night stands.>>


I completely agree with you, the thought of having to resort to one night stands knocks me sick.

As far as I'm concerned sex is just how we reproduce and untill I feel the intense need to father children I won't have sex or pursue a relationship.

I'm not lacking in sexual urges trust me. Even though I'm a girl I probably have the same urges as your average boy, sex on the brain and it is pretty frustrating too since I have no love life what so ever past fancying people.

And I was quite an early bloomer as it were, while girls were still playing with barbies I was already talking about boys and stuff.

I've had crushes in middle school, and could think "oh, he's cute" but I've never had urges.

Well to sum it up...of course I do, the really funny thing is that before I asked this one girl out I was always thinking about having sex and everything, afterwards I just didn't see any purpose, because I wanted to be with her, I kind of lost interest in sex, it didn't help that although she did say yes at first it buggered up went downhill to taking it slow to then her liking some ret*d emo kid who can play guitar and uses girls, but yeah that's my life story pretty much

So now I don't actually have the urge for sex, I do have the urge to find my perfect girl, but seriously I have weird standards and seem to only go for intellectual girls, stupid ones are pathetic now that I want a girl to be with rather than 'sexytime' with, to put it bluntly...I prefered my past sexual drive...it was easier to cope with and I didn't care about finding the perfect girl lol

I didn't have any actual urges up until last year. But I do understand your reasons for not having any and I do not think you are a freak.

I'm not certain if I was just a late bloomer, or if it was delayed because I was on a psychostimulant for so long, but I didn't start to have urges until after I was out of HS (and off the methylphenidate). I did have a GF in HS, though, we didn't do anything until after we were out of there. After HS, I went from Asexual to bisexual. I can't even explain it, other than the guess above.

The way I always learned it is that your sexuality is "fluid" and can change as you mature and grow.

I currently identify as an asexual lesbian. I really like girls, and I don't mind the occasional hug, and if I get into a long-term relationship I would want it to be with another girl, because I feel like I am safer with girls, I don't really know why. If I had to get into a relationship with a man, I would look for a friendly, gay man who doesn't mind being "married" to me and sharing joint finances, etc. Frankly, I think that a stable living condition for me would be with a friend who happens to be a gay man, because that would mean that our relationship is practical, rather than sexual, and we will be able to function together without the crazy emotions attached. But yes, I do like girls, and think they're pretty. I just don't really get "urges" for them. And I do NOT like boys... But yeah, it might just be that I'm a late bloomer and I will eventually discard the asexual label and end up with "lesbian". Who knows. I'm 19, almost 20, and have been "out" to myself for about a year, when I realized that I had to pick a sexual orientation, and did hours of reading, and discovered that you can like girls and still be asexual...

With me, I see women as people. Then like all guys I see them as something to have sex with, just like most women look at men and see them as something to have sex with. But I wouldnt enjoy sex with someone without a relationship. When I was visiting spain with my class last week in a hotel, some girl from another group asked me to come in her room. she made it clear to other guys that she wanted to have sex with someone b4 the trip was over. I told her NO i dont wanna come in her room. I didnt know her, i had no feelings for her, and more than likely i wouldve probably gotten laid. But it wouldve been pointless. I would rather have sex with a woman who I have some type of friendship or relationship with. I remember one girl convinced me to have sex with her and I gave in and it was DRY and Empty. I didnt enjoy it.
My sexual partner in my imagination would be:
10-20 years older than me
Understand my asperger's and helps me with it, and helps me socially
Have some kind of relationship with me
Not into all that society bullcarp

that would be great. especially her being older makes it more fun and meaningful