Bullying from Family

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I saw the topic about Bully Teachers, and I thought I would make one about the family members in our life who have bullied us.


When I was younger my younger brother used to give me hell. He was always the more "popular" one who made friends everywhere and everyone thought he was cool. He was always making friends with kids I used to hate and inviting them to come play in our room, which I think he did just to spite me. He would call me things like "ret*d" and "Fag", and sometimes physically hurt me and say it was my fault. One time while we were playing at a park there was this tree that he and a friend climbed, I wanted to climb it but couldn't and he and his friend would spit at me from the top of the branches.

Now he and my other sibilings live with their Dad in another town and they visit like once a week. Now that I'm older and bigger then him he doesn't try to mess with me because he knows that I know how to make his life hell. However he gives the exact same treatment to my little brother who has Cerebral Palsy. One time he punched my brother in the face because he was spilling food and I started beating and clawing him and almost got in trouble because he was a minor, but when I see him bully my little brother it reminds me of all the stuff he did to me as a kid, and I feel bad for the little guy because nobody likes him, everyone in my family just considers him a nuisance and treats him badly and I feel like I have to stick up for him because nobody else will. My Mom always tells me that it makes her sad that me and my brother act like we hate each other, but could you care about someone who thinks they can abuse their own family just because they think they're more "perfect"?

I also used to have a problem with my ex-Step Dad, who is the father of my 2 brothers and my sister. He's a very typical backwoods redneck who thinks women are suppose to be their men's slaves and that boys are suppose to like football and hate everything "girly". When I was little I was more into drawing and video games then I was sports, and he would try to force me to play sports with him which I hated, then punish me because I didn't do a good job. I used to collect junk, like broken toy parts and rocks, which I played with by setting up as pretend villages and people. He would get angry at me for bringing junk home and throw them all away. Also his favorite thing to tell me whenever I was upset was "The only person you should be mad at is yourself". For years every time something bad happened to me I always blamed myself and would punish me by hurting myself. It took years for me to realize that my unhappiness wasn't "my fault", it was the cruel and selfish world I was living in.

Hey, I have a few redneck relatives like that too,(I'm from Georgia too, although I don't live there anymore.) I'm glad you stand up for your little brother, He needs you. When your mean brother gets older all he'll ever be is a jerk like your stepdad, It's important for you and your little CP brother to have a bond. He will need you as he gets older, you will understand a lot for him when he tries to socialize more, even if it's just saying "I've been there too". I hope he doesn't have to go around that stepdad, but the other brother needs to be made to leave him alone. good luck.

Hey, small world.

I feel so bad for my little brother, even though I do stick up for him, I've never been as close with him as I have my sister. He's always been too clingy, which makes it all the more sad that everyone just completely ignores him, or they just yell at him for no reason. As he's gotten older he's become more aggressive towards everyone and does things like hit people or steal from them, and I don't blame him because everyone treats him badly. My Mom likes to fool people into thinking she's a wonderful mother to him and understands his problems (like she did me, go figure), but I'm telling you she talks just as bad to him as my brother does.

I really worry about him, but I know there's nothing I can really do except be there for him when my a-hole brother tries to hurt him.

The thing I hate about my other brother is not only is he more popular, but he always seems to get what he wants. Every year for X-mas or his B-day he's always gotten something really expensive like an electric guitar or DVD Player, while I've always had to settle for whatever my Mom could afford me, and sometimes she would make me feel guilty about buying me a present by telling me about how broke she is and how depressed she is that she can't buy all her kids a wonderful present. Anything I've ever gotten that was expensive I would have to work for myself, like my Xbox 360. Yet one day my brother had the nerve to accuse me of being selfish when I was secretly upset that I wasn't going to get a game I wanted for the PS2, yet he had no problem accepting a brand new MP3 player from my Mom. Everyone has always liked my brother because he was good at sports, was a straight A student, could play guitar, and was funny. He even got a truck for his 14th Birthday which he never even used because he sold it 2 years later, and I've never even had anybody teach me to drive.

One of the things I'll never forget is when everyone felt sorry for my brother and was helping him because his drug-addict cousin accused him or giving him drugs, and of COURSE he had to be innocent (not that I care if he was or not). I remember my Mom was yapping on the phone about the incident like she always does when there's drama and she looked at my brother and said "He's the only truely innocent child in the world". She didn't realize how much it angered me when she said that.....

I feel so bad for you. People should have to pass a test to be parents! I hope things get better for you. Are you in the metro atlanta area or further out of the city?

Way further, like next to Florida.

Anyways I'm tired of talking about myself, tell me about your experience with family bullying!

I was lucky that I wasn't bullied too much, but my brother bullied my sister because he thought she was very ugly, also he bullied my uncle who had a lot of psych disorders, this was a long time ago and they didn't have the diagnosises they do now, but my uncle was a hermit and had agoraphobia, severe OCD , schitzophrenia and probably asperger as well, My uncle never had a job or drove a car. My brother took him and his bicycle to the library one day and when my uncle was riding his bike back from the library some one hit him with their truck and bumped him into the chattahoochie river. His body was found under the bridge a couple of days later, He was 42. I associate with my brother on facebook and he visits me when his truck driving brings him into the area. He doesn't understand why my sister doesn't like him. My dad was very abusive to us and my brother remembers that very well, but I guess he doesn't understand what harm he did to my sister. When I was young I was mean to my younger brother, I think as best as I can figure out, we were all abused by my Dad, so we in turn were mean to others. I hate the fact that I was mean, I can't stand bullies or mean people, It's a thing with me that I get bent out of shape and won't even watch physical violence on tv. My younger brother that i use to pick on is 8 yrs younger than me, He is 39 now and has abused all of his children and had some taken by the state and gave his son away, he is a true sociopath. No feelings for anyone but himself. Me and My older brother,the one that bullied my sister, we never abused our children. there are 9 siblings total and we all have our scars but my younger brother,the sociopath, is by far the worst. Believe it or not his chosen profession is Paramedic, helping others, He doesn't care about others, its the power he feels from the job. He's actually good to patients, but wouldn't even come and see my mother when she was dying!I guess I got off topic sorry.

That's the same with my brother. I don't think he's a true sociopath, but he's only nice to people he gets "use" out of. Me and my little brother have always been useless to him because we're the ones with mental disabilities so he's downright hateful to us, but my Mom and most of my relatives spoil him and let him do whatever he wants, so he's always nice and friendly to them. And when it comes to his friends he only hangs out with them when they worship him and do cool things. He once had this friend who's Mom got killed in a car crash and he suffered severe depression. Now instead of being a "true friend" and helping the boy through it, my brother just stopped hanging with him completely and never talked to him again.

I think the problem with my brother is that he's Narcissistic, and he only wants family and friends who make him feel like he's so special.

That's my sister that I mentioned, she is a true narcissist, I feel so bad for her, she truly believes life is all about her. Like I said, we all have our scars from our rotten childhood, my brother being a sociopath means he's happy, my poor sister tries to be happy, but has no idea that she's the one making herself miserable, If only she could realize its not all about her.

The vast majority of bullying I've gotten has come from my family.

Doesn't that suck, the ones we should be able to count on the most!!

I know, it reminds me of this quote from The Golden Girls when Sophia says "If you can't count on family then who the hell can you count on?". When your own family betrays you it's hard to trust anybody. The ones in my family that didn't bully weren't there for me, or they used to be then just kind of started ignoring me. As much as I hate my Mom when she causes drama, she's the only one in my family who has actually helped me with my Aspergers, which is why I wonder why she's so hard on my brother who has Cerebral Palsy.

your Mom probably feels he's a disappointment, something she has probably known for a while, with you she probably got to know you first and then found out why you were the way you are, she new you as a healthy person, with your brother she needs to mourn the loss of the son she wanted and learn to love the one she got instead. Once she does this she could move on as if she met him as an unhealthy person. If she just met him and knew he had CP and she never expected anything else, it would be easier to accept. If you found out you were pregnant by going into labor, then you haven't had 9 months to prepare yourself for a healthy son, she probably expected him to be similar to her other son, so of course she has to mourn the loss of the son she didn't have. If you didn't know you were pregnant, then you can't be too disappointed with what you get. She obviously didn't get what she wanted. Sad for him, but most parents don't prepare for a handicapped child, It's not that she can't love him, she just needs to love him for who he is, not what she wanted, If she doesn't accept him, maybe you could be the one person who's not disappointed in him.

My Grandmother, my Uncles and my Cousins used to bully me. My mother and I haven't been in contact with them since I was 12 because neither of us wanted to be around them or talk to them.

Some examples:

My Grandmother would make snide comments about my toe-walking, insult me because of my weight, and when I was upset because of the bullying I received at school she'd tell me I deserved it for being weird. All of this took place when I was between the ages of 7 and 12.

Both of my Uncles liked to make rude comments about my weight, and they made very sexist comments too. One of my Uncles repeatedly called me an opinionated brat (FYI, I was quite a well behaved child and quiet most of the time, so I don't see how he could think I was an opinionated brat, unless he just said it to be cruel) and he made fun of the way I spoke and the fact that I was using "grown-up words" at the age of 9. And I can remember a one incident where he tried to grab my legs and hold me upside-down. He thought it was funny, but I was terrified. I didn't see my Uncles very often, but every time I did see them they always had something cruel to say about me or my mother.

My cousins were more physical bullies than verbal bullies (but there was still a lot of verbal bullying going on). They used to hit me, pull my hair and call me a weirdo. I can remember a couple of incidents where my mum took me and my cousins to a museum, and on the way back they kept poking me in the back with sticks. The skin on my back is the most sensitive place on my body, and it was absolute agony. They thought it was hilarious when I started crying and screaming at them.

I haven't mentioned every single incident here, but this sort of illustrates how nasty my family were to me. My mother is a very kind person and they bullied her too because they knew she wouldn't say anything horrible back to them. She always tried to stick up for me, but rarely stook up for herself.

squirsh, I'm glad your mom got you away from that, she sounds awesome, I would rather have no family than a family that abuses me or my kids.

My mum definitely is awesome. I regard my close friends as sisters, so in a way I do still have a family. My mum also has a couple of friends who she regards as sisters, and they give her more support than our biological family ever did.

I get it ALL the TIME!