Fitting in at a new school

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In September I am moving to a new school for my A-levels. I have had a look at the school and it seems a lot nicer than my current one in many ways. It is frequently said to have an extraordinarily friendly atmosphere, which is one of the main reasons why I chose to go there, but I'm worried that I might be marked out as an idiot from day one. I want to make a good first impression to the other children, but how should I go about this?

My parents say that one of my problems is that I am too quiet and often come across as unfriendly, and I think this is true, but on the other hand their advice to "be more outgoing" when I started secondary school had disastrous consequences because I didn't know how to act like a normal person. Throughout primary school various well-meaning people had assumed from my quietness that I was a weak, pitiful, helpless little creature so they treated me like a baby. I didn't like being a part of pity-based "friendships", so to avoid this happening again in secondary school I acted completely out of character, becoming much more talkative and constantly trying to prove that I was just as strong as the next person and not a little dolly. That seemed to work for a short while, but before the end of the first year I was clearly perceived as a weirdo who needs help. In fact, my classmates seemed to pity the outgoing version of myself even more than the quiet version. Over the last couple of years I decided that I should stop pretending and just be myself, but this only seemed to exacerbate the problems I had been having with being ignored and not being taken seriously.

Out of the people in my class whom I consider to be my friends, I can't tell which are genuine and which are false, and in any case I know that none of them are particularly close friends with me, preferring to spend time with other people when possible. I also strongly suspect there to be a few rumours flying around the school about me having "special needs" and being "weird" and a "psycho", although whenever I ask anyone about it they evade the question. So I really think that the best thing I can do is to leave this mess behind me and start afresh. I just hope that this sort of thing won't repeat itself at my new school. How should I behave with the other children in order to give myself the best possible chance of fitting in? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

hmm being quit usualy works other wise get buffed up and act like you have a big ego its an easy character to play being the weirdo doesnt have to be a bad thing try hanging out with other weirdos. i dunno i should know you and your behaviour in school to be able to tell you anything concrete.

OK, I guess I could give the egotist routine a try. But I'll probably leave it as a last resort because at my last school I may have overdone it and it didn't go down well with the class. I suppose it will be safest to start out quiet and see how the other people respond.

That seems like a good idea. I can't think of anyone at my previous school who particularly stuck out as being a "weirdo" other than myself but I'll bear in mind what you said and look out for them in my new class.


I understand the difficulty there but nonetheless I appreciate your help. Thanks.

how many people were in you last school my school had about a 1000 students there were enough weird folk on that school. is your next school bigger than you old one? if it it might have more weird folk. are a levels a higher form of education than what you did i dont realy know much about american schooling system if it its likely that there are less social people in that level. it may sound crude but most smart folks are less social than most stupid folks gues there's kind of a balance in it. if its a nice class it might be easy to fit in sometimes its best to just not mess up instead of trying to do everything perfect, that the basis of the quit aproche now i think of it.

*Googles both schools*
My previous school has about 850 people (couldn't find how many in the Sixth Form). My next school has about 900 people, including 260 in the Sixth Form. (Sixth Form = the last two years of school, during which students work towards their A-levels)

A-levels are for students aged 16-18, but compulsory schooling ends after GCSEs at the age of 16, so it is a higher form of education. However, that's not likely to affect the average level of intelligence of my peers much because I come from a rather selective school where everyone is expected to end up doing A-levels and the school I am moving to is actually less selective (it's a private school, as opposed to a grammar school, so whoever pays has a pretty good chance of getting in). Even so, there may be a few more "less social" people there because it is a mixed school, whereas my previous school is for girls only, and girls tend to be more social than boys. I'll just have to hope for the best...
(By the way, A-levels and suchlike are part of the English schooling system, not the American one. )

I'll do my best to play safe and not make too many social mistakes. It will be nearly impossible to avoid being marked out as "different", though, because my auditory processing disorder makes it nearly impossible for me to hear what anyone is saying during break time, when it's noisy, and I end up having to ask people to repeat what they have said about 10 times, which is frustrating for both of us. Maybe I could try compensating by suppressing my other AS symptoms for the first month or so, e.g. keeping stimming to a minimum and limiting my conversation subjects to conventional stuff like the weather and what people did during the holidays, instead of my interests (read: obsession with Pokémon ). Does that sound reasonable? Perhaps if people get to know me before they have a chance to stick a label on me they'll be more accepting when it becomes apparent that I am incurably odd. Then again, it might just come as more of a shock than necessary and result in deliberate alienation. Either way, I doubt if I'll be able to hide my real self forever.