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Eilidh
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19 Oct 2009, 9:38 am

Does anyone else here ever made by their parent to feel like their a burdan or annoyance to them?

I try not to yell when I get yelled at because my sissy says it makes it worse, but hot do you just take and take and take and take without exploding? It just seems pointless sometimes to even say anything because my mother never listens... When I try to explain my side of things *on the RARE chance she asks me to,* she just says I'm saying stuff or whatever. If I forget to do something like the put the laundry into the dryer, she yells and says that if I can remember all the types of dragons on pern than I can remember to put the washing into the dryer... It's frustrating!
Sorry for the rant...
I'm just wishing there was a way to get through to her that my purpose in life isn't to make her angry...
~Eilidh


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Zsazsa
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19 Oct 2009, 1:16 pm

Eilidh wrote:
I'm just wishing there was a way to get through to her that my purpose in life isn't to make her angry...
~Eilidh



Have you expressed these exact words to your mother?

It is not easy living with such parents at times but, all you can do is try to discuss things with your mom and speak in a calm, "normal" voice. Furthermore, use "I"statements. Like, "Mom, it upsets me when you yell at me" or Mom, I am sorry that I forgot to put the laundry in the dryer.



persian85033
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19 Oct 2009, 2:47 pm

Yup. Always. They complain that I'm controlling their lives, that I embarras them a lot.



persian85033
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19 Oct 2009, 2:47 pm

Yup. Always. They complain that I'm controlling their lives, that I embarras them a lot. Well, I never asked them to



persian85033
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19 Oct 2009, 2:47 pm

Yup. Always. They complain that I'm controlling their lives, that I embarras them a lot. Well, I never asked



persian85033
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19 Oct 2009, 2:47 pm

Yup. Always. They complain that I'm controlling their lives, that I embarras them a lot. Well, I never asked them to have



persian85033
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19 Oct 2009, 2:47 pm

Yup. Always. They complain that I'm controlling their lives, that I embarras them a lot. Well, I never asked them to have me, you k



persian85033
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19 Oct 2009, 2:47 pm

Yup. Always. They complain that I'm controlling their lives, that I embarras them a lot. Well, I never asked them



Eilidh
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20 Oct 2009, 10:00 am

Zsazsa wrote:
Eilidh wrote:
I'm just wishing there was a way to get through to her that my purpose in life isn't to make her angry...
~Eilidh



Have you expressed these exact words to your mother?

It is not easy living with such parents at times but, all you can do is try to discuss things with your mom and speak in a calm, "normal" voice. Furthermore, use "I"statements. Like, "Mom, it upsets me when you yell at me" or Mom, I am sorry that I forgot to put the laundry in the dryer.



I've tried that more than once, but she always says the same thing. "I wouldn't be yeling if you did what I asked you too, and didn't come up with excuses." or I get the, "If you can memorize all the operating systems of you computers and braille notetakers, you can remember to put the clothes in the dryer."
I try not to yell at people when I'm upset because then I just get yelled at even more, of course my version of "yelling" is speaking in a normal voice to others, because it REALLY SCARES me, but anyway, what do you do when you've tried everything. the things the counselor says don't seem to work on her... I can't wait for January!

~E


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persian85033
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20 Oct 2009, 2:27 pm

Really? I've never been able to express much to my parents because I'm terrified they'll yell at me or something! My mom's like, 'well, say what you're going to say. Come on, as if you were afraid of me.' stuff like that. The truth is, I AM afraid, but of her words.

Yes, I get that all the time! If I can memorize so many books, and cartoon episodes, I can't memorize something useful. Well, if I forget to do something, I'm sorry, but believe it or not, I really do forget.

What I'd like is for my parents to go to counseling with me, and mostly, learn about AS. Because they won't listen to me. And nothing I do works on them.



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07 Nov 2009, 9:07 pm

I get told off for forgetting to get Nana a drink so something. I say once I do this and by the time I do it I forget and get in trouble. Same with showers. My grandparents (whom I live with) don't believe I have AS, just regular autism which is actually worse. They know nothing about it either. I'm more of a piggy in the middle though, Nana and Grandad fight and I just want to retreat to my room but I want to continue what I'm doing on the computer. So they tell each other and me off and I just take the s**t. My reccomendation, ear plugs or an MP3 type thing. Listen to some music and calm yourself down. Music helps me anyway and I know not hearing it would help alot.



willmark
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12 Nov 2009, 1:25 pm

Eilidh wrote:
I've tried that more than once, but she always says the same thing. "I wouldn't be yeling if you did what I asked you too, and didn't come up with excuses." or I get the, "If you can memorize all the operating systems of you computers and braille notetakers, you can remember to put the clothes in the dryer."
I try not to yell at people when I'm upset because then I just get yelled at even more, of course my version of "yelling" is speaking in a normal voice to others, because it REALLY SCARES me, but anyway, what do you do when you've tried everything. the things the counselor says don't seem to work on her.

Is there not a practical solution to this? I understand forgetting to complete tasks. I stumble upon evidence all the time, of things that I started, and forgot to finish, because I got distracted. so I add things to my routines to double check myself. Rather than getting frustrated, try to find a way to work around your short comings. Can you put something on your desk, or in your braille writer that will remind you to go check the washer. Have you tried setting a timer? It is really strange, but for me, if I put something in the oven, and walk away and do something else while I am waiting for it to cook, I will forget about it and burn it to a crisp. However if I set a timer to go off when the food needs to be pulled out, the thought will just pop into my mind that I have food in the oven just before the alarm is about to go off. For me it works without failure. You might try that. When you put clothes in the washer, set a timer and take it with you to where you will be working or whatever, and see if you remember it by yourself; and if you don't you will likely recall it when the timer goes off. Just try it.



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12 Nov 2009, 1:32 pm

willmark wrote:
Is there not a practical solution to this? I understand forgetting to complete tasks. I stumble upon evidence all the time, of things that I started, and forgot to finish, because I got distracted. so I add things to my routines to double check myself. Rather than getting frustrated, try to find a way to work around your short comings. Can you put something on your desk, or in your braille writer that will remind you to go check the washer. Have you tried setting a timer? It is really strange, but for me, if I put something in the oven, and walk away and do something else while I am waiting for it to cook, I will forget about it and burn it to a crisp. However if I set a timer to go off when the food needs to be pulled out, the thought will just pop into my mind that I have food in the oven just before the alarm is about to go off. For me it works without failure. You might try that. When you put clothes in the washer, set a timer and take it with you to where you will be working or whatever, and see if you remember it by yourself; and if you don't you will likely recall it when the timer goes off. Just try it.




Just like to point out that is a good idea. It works for me (I don't do it all the time but still). If I go to sleep with the alarm on I always wake up a few minutes before it goes off so remembering before it goes off really does work. Nice one willmark



Volcanic
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12 Nov 2009, 1:39 pm

i know what thats like. i hate my parents. there control freaks. and my dad always says stuff that he KNOWS will get me mad. Hes always trying to pick a fight with me. we fight almost every day and both of my parents ignore me and act like im not around almost all of the time, and they wonder why i hate them so much... :(



lolcatsrule_123
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14 Nov 2009, 7:46 am

my mum says im a ''hermit'' and i need to go outside with my friends and go shopping because my life is made up of school, then home. i don't see a problem because i run around at school, and do P.E 3 times a week for 50mins. plus i go out for lunch most days but usually by myself, i have 3 friends, but that's ok, she also says i overreact and took me to my doctor :( 8O



IMForeman
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14 Nov 2009, 8:59 am

lolcatsrule_123 wrote:
my mum says im a ''hermit'' and i need to go outside with my friends and go shopping because my life is made up of school, then home. i don't see a problem because i run around at school, and do P.E 3 times a week for 50mins. plus i go out for lunch most days but usually by myself, i have 3 friends, but that's ok, she also says i overreact and took me to my doctor :( 8O


If you're like me, school can be pretty exhausting and when you're home you're ready for a rest. Is that what it's like?