Do you feel lonely?

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Asp-Z
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13 Dec 2009, 4:37 pm

Hi, I'm a 15 year old male Aspie... I find myself constantly feeling lonely these days. The extent to which it bothers me changes sometimes, but it never really stops bothering me altogether.

I'm worried that I will never find a girlfriend (finding any girl aspies is very rare, finding one that happens to be good for me would be extremely unlikely).

Is there anything I can do to a) cheer myself up and b) maybe find someone?

And for B, I'm not looking for answers such as "go out more, join some clubs", I've heard the standard crap before, I want something that's actually useful.

And finally, is there anyone else feeling the same as me?

Shaye
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Joined: 7 Dec 2009
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 210
Location: Kentucky

13 Dec 2009, 4:46 pm

I feel the exact same as you.
I'm really akward around... well.. everyone and guys don't talk to me.

a) the thing that cheers me up is MUSIC. I listen to Ra Ra Riot to cheer me up or calm me down.
b) I really don't know what to tell you. I heard that Aspie Affection is nice. (link is at the top, above "Support Wrong Planet Awareness")

I'll be happy to be your friend If you need someone to talk to or something.

Asp-Z
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13 Dec 2009, 4:55 pm

Shaye wrote:

Same here, I always feel awkard.

Music works because it's nice and it distracts me, but it'd very temporary...

Aspie Affection has about 300 female members and thoudsends of male members. It also has like 5 people around my age, most of who are in different countries to me. It has therefore been declared useless

It'd be great to be friends, I'll send you a PM now

Shaye
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Joined: 7 Dec 2009
Age: 31
Gender: Female
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Location: Kentucky

13 Dec 2009, 4:58 pm

Asp-Z wrote:

Aspie Affection has about 300 female members and thoudsends of male members. It also has like 5 people around my age, most of who are in different countries to me. It has therefore been declared useless :D

Yea, that might be a problem. haha.

Willard
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13 Dec 2009, 5:48 pm

Asp-Z wrote:

I'm a 15 year old male Aspie...

I'm worried that I will never find a girlfriend

You're fifteen for Christ's sake, what could you possibly know about NEVER?

Jeez Loise, have a little patience...

Everybody's in such a hurry to have their heart broken. :roll:

Asp-Z
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13 Dec 2009, 5:58 pm

Willard wrote:

Asp-Z wrote:

I'm a 15 year old male Aspie...

I'm worried that I will never find a girlfriend

You're fifteen for Christ's sake, what could you possibly know about NEVER?

Jeez Loise, have a little patience...

Everybody's in such a hurry to have their heart broken. :roll:

See, this is why I posted this in the adolecent section, to avoid stupid replies like this. Looks like that didn't work out too well...

LivingOutsideTheBox
Snowy Owl

Joined: 6 Jan 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 172

13 Dec 2009, 6:14 pm

Well I'm 18.

I've had my heart broken. Was worth it. Trust me, you're better off.

By the time I turned 16 I had been pretty intimate with one specific girl. I loved her, she loved me. But she was deceptive, and I was obteuse, and we got annoyed with each-other. To this day we A: Hate each-other and B: love our time together. Then I found someone shrouded in SUCH soul-pain it was almost laughable, and we had a short but very intense relationship. She's okay now. And we still chat.

MY POINT is, life always happens. You bump into someone, recognize something, something good or bad, and within 2 weeks you're thinking of a home together, and within 4 you're thinking of getting the hell away.

16 to 18 is when you'll get your wish.

Beyond that I don't know, but I know people get wise by being idiots. So just have fun in life, and you'll most likely find someone who's trying to do the same.

(In one sentence: You will have love, and you will have heartbreak. Soon. It will be awesome.)

Velonz
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 19 Nov 2009
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 25

13 Dec 2009, 6:19 pm

I'm the same as you, Asp-Z. When I talk to people it's just about all one-word responses and I sound stupid. I am lonely most of the time. I'm not into the same things as most kids so it's hard to make friends.

As for a girlfriend, I'm waiting till I am a bit older and not living at home. (preferably) Sure, I want to be loved, as you probably do, but I try not to stress myself out trying to find a partner. It is hard enough as it is to find someone, but I don't want to be made fun of and embarrassed by my parents again like I was when I was younger. The way I see it, I know I'll have a lot of time when I'm older to try and find a girlfriend.

Jpeg
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Joined: 24 Nov 2009
Age: 32
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Posts: 235
Location: Missouri

14 Dec 2009, 3:51 pm

Asp-Z wrote:

I feel very similar to you, lonely and awkward much of the time though it comes and gos.

Zeek
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14 Dec 2009, 8:51 pm

Loneliness used to affect me but I have grown out of it. It's easier to not be lonely when you entertain yourself. I socialise a bit but I don't very often and I am content. I've just learnt to bury emotions, makes life so much easier. When you get down, try it. Some people would call this bad advice but it works for me

Z_Dizeaze
Emu Egg
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14 Dec 2009, 9:39 pm

I guess I do, but not in a bad way. I've noticed that whenever I get to know someone really well I always end up wanting to get away from them for a while because I'll find them annoying, stupid, or think that I am above them. I don't know if this is normal aspergers behavior, maybe someone can relate?

Jpeg
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Joined: 24 Nov 2009
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15 Dec 2009, 2:48 pm

Zeek wrote:

I used to be like that but then decided to try and make some more friends but failed and am no longer able to bury emotions for long.

Asp-Z
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15 Dec 2009, 6:10 pm

Jpeg wrote:

Zeek wrote:

I used to be like that but then decided to try and make some more friends but failed and am no longer able to bury emotions for long.

Sorta the same here, except I haven't tried to make more friends recenty because I know from experience that it simply does not work.

Edit: just noticed that this was my 69th post, yes I'm so immature that I had to point that out

ajanin
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 26 Sep 2009
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 32

15 Dec 2009, 6:11 pm

Z_Dizeaze wrote:

I am the exact same way.

To combat the loneliness / cheer me up I play world of warcraft because I can socailize when I want to. When it comes to finding a girlfriend I am leaving that to fate. I figure as long as I do what I like to do i'll find someone.

L_Lawlliet
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 1 Aug 2009
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 36

15 Dec 2009, 8:40 pm

i feel lonely very often... i have even reached the edge of depression, but there are some things that help me cheer up a little
for example, i like to draw and i am very good at it, so i spent most of my time making portraits or trying to draw down all the things that run through my mind
i also like to listen to music which calms me down or cheers me up
as i suck at relating with people in the real world i like to get e-mail friends to talk with them.

and for the girlfriend thing, i feel the same way in this moment, but i had a boyfriend (who by coincidence was also an aspie) like a year ago, soi i think "if i have already had one, eventual i will find another one"

if you want to talk to me or something please PM me or maybe if you have MSN we could talk someday...
my MSN is [email protected]

_________________
Aber du hast mal gesagt:
Wenn nichts mehr geht
Werd' ich ein engel sein - Für dich allein
Und dir in jeder dunklen nacht erschein'
Und dann fliegen
wir weit weg von hier
Wir werden uns nie mehr verlier'n

Asp-Z
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16 Dec 2009, 2:48 am

L_Lawlliet wrote:

I do the same as you, except my thing is programming. It's challeneging too so tends to take my mind of off everything, though it also makes me angry when nothing works poperly

I also do poetry though, and I've been told I'm very good at that

I've added you on MSN

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Do you feel lonely?