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Etular
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16 Mar 2010, 3:48 pm

Out of pure curiosity, has anyone ever embraced their feelings of loneliness/solitude as a good thing? I've been thinking for the past few days, and find my self getting far too paranoid at my neurotypical friends (Can I trust them? Are they loyal? Are they honest and truthful? Why do they keep so many secrets from me?). Due to this, quite recently, i just snapped at them for what I would perceive as little to no fault of theirs. I can't help but remember a time when things were so easy. I had no friends, few enemies and all I had to really focus on was my own wishes/needs. Nowadays, I spend far too much time hiding behind a façade of sophistication and friendliness, when really I'm constantly spending restless nights judging my friends and wondering whether or not I may be being taken advantage of (I'm not sure if jealousy or a crush may have anything to do with it, but I don't really care if it does).

I've consider what it would be like becoming, once again, a "loner". The "Possible Reasons" fits me perfectly, and the "Possible Characteristics" I seem to fit into relatively well. Anyway, what do you think of solitude, loneliness, introversion, whatever you may call it? Should we embrace it or, like most people, shun it away?

P.S. My own opinion would be to embrace it, but I see no way possible in doing so without causing my friends some form of emotional pain or grief.



Life_In_Defiance
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16 Mar 2010, 6:47 pm

Yes, i have seen solitude as a good thing because it allowes you to worry about yourself. Having a couple friends could be overwhelming at times. I have sometimes asked myself the same questions you have regarding friendship. I had always been alone for the past twenty years of my life and i can finally say that i met someone who i can call my best friend. Now i have experienced what it is to have someone that cares about you and understands who you are. I understand that a lot of questions doubting about your friends' tust etc. go through your mind. think about the positive aspects of having a friend. for me or example, I'm glad that i finally have someone to talk to so i wont go crazy engaging in conversations with myself. Just as how you see the positive aspects of being alone and embracing solitude, also look at the best a friendship can offer and embrace it as the best thing that could happen in your life.... remember that you don't need to hide behind a facade of sophistication or friendliness with your friends, true friends would like you by who you are and will try to bring the best in you to surface.... by the way if you know that your friends can go through emotional pain and grief if you leave them that means that they really care for you. It can be said that they are loyal to your frindship and hurts them to see you go back into loneliness, if you are able to see that they can suffer without you then that means they are truthful with their emotions when they are with you and thus you can notice how they feel if any given circumstance happens.... maybe they keep secrets away from you because they don't want to cause you to worry about them and they don't want you to be affected by them because they care...

sorry for the long post but even though you can choose to embrace loneliness, friendship can offer emotional support and a million other things that loneliness can't equate :wink:



Etular
Sea Gull
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18 Mar 2010, 11:29 am

Update: Most of my friends have turned against me for some reason... Meh, what are the odds? I post this topic a few days before their betrayal.



Postures
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18 Mar 2010, 12:10 pm

I like my solitute 8)

People hurt you too much and make you vulnerable. It's better to be alone.


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ajanin
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18 Mar 2010, 10:50 pm

Luckily I have found some friends who understand me for me. Even when I disapear for months (not an exaggeration) they still welcome me when I feel like being social but honestly I do enjoy my own company the most.

In terms of loneliness i spend most of my time alone but never really fell alone (if that makes sense to you).



Etular
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19 Mar 2010, 2:12 am

ajanin wrote:
In terms of loneliness i spend most of my time alone but never really fell alone (if that makes sense to you).


That is, quite literally, the meaning of this topic. It's the description of solitude - To feel good about being alone. It's also, more or less, what I meant by "Embracing loneliness".



Daniella
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28 Mar 2010, 10:34 pm

Well if we all like being alone so much, what are we doing here on these forums?



Etular
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29 Mar 2010, 5:46 am

Daniella wrote:
Well if we all like being alone so much, what are we doing here on these forums?


Simple. that's like asking "Why is there a forum for Loners?". So we can mingle and share our opinions with those whom believe in similar things and/or have a similar stance on life.



Daniella
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30 Mar 2010, 8:44 am

Etular wrote:
Simple. that's like asking "Why is there a forum for Loners?". So we can mingle and share our opinions with those whom believe in similar things and/or have a similar stance on life.


But then we don't really want to be alone. We just want to communicate with people in a different way than face-to-face, or only communicate with those that share our mindset.



Etular
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31 Mar 2010, 5:49 am

Daniella wrote:
But then we don't really want to be alone. We just want to communicate with people in a different way than face-to-face, or only communicate with those that share our mindset.


Uh...

*10 second silence*

I guess you're right... The internet is, however, anonymous - and when we're on it we are still alone (assuming we're not with others at the time). Just because we're typing to others doesn't mean we're not alone because, when we're typing, we are still on our own - even if there's other people answering. Quite honestly, I, myself, see this forum as a way to pass the time by helping others and seek advice more than a form of communication. Sure, there may be some communication, but there isn't a topic really focused specifically on conversing. An exception would be most of the topics in the "Getting to know each other" forum where, quite frankly, the only posts are "Hi. [explains about self]", "Welcome to WP!", "Thanks" etc. Pretty much every other topic is advice, questions or stats.



symulacra
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15 Apr 2010, 11:08 am

I do want to be left alone, and I can never get anyone to leave me. I don't have many friends, and I wish those people would say hi or talk to me, but I like my alone time. I am a thinker, so it helps, and I feel like everyone has made me be more extroverted than I am. They always want something, an answer, an action, an acknowledgment, and I just want to think sometimes. Is that so hard?



Lung_Drac
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26 Apr 2010, 8:05 pm

After a day of school with a school friend during lunch and being stuck in a class full of halfwits at the end of the day, solitude is such a sweet, enticing sensation for me to indulge in when I get home.



Zeek
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01 May 2010, 6:20 pm

Personally I'm not a huge fan of solitude. Last year I was pretty much completely alone so I slipped into depression. I do like being alone some of the time but full on lonerism is not for me. As hard as it is sometimes I need to talk to someone about my problems



AppleCat
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03 May 2010, 5:53 am

Back when I was 13, I saw myself as a lone wolf, a solitary ego with no need for social interaction or friends, and went into self-withdrawal which led to depression and paranoia. I went like that again, about this time last year, and it took me a while to pull myself out of it. These days, though I do sometimes like my own company, I'm making more of an effort to socialize and interact with people. I now have a few friends, and I'm happier than I have been in a long time. Solitude is nice, but in moderation, as I genuinely believe that too much of it can seriously mess with your head.


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Amber-Miasma
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18 May 2010, 9:56 am

I tried it, and in a way I'm still isolationist. To be honest I believe it's one of the most self destructive paths (depression, self-loathing, constant air of melancholy) to take but I can relate to the mistrust and paranoia with the mates I do still hang around with. I communicate mostly over the internet as personally I find it easier than face-to-face but I know I'd just be screwing my head over if it was the only interaction I had with other folks.



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07 Nov 2011, 9:45 am

It is the experience of discovering one's own questions regarding human existence, and of confronting the sheer contingencies of the human condition. From an existential perspective, the lonely individual seeks to grasp some meaning in the face of life's impermanence, the angoisse of human freedom, and the inevitability of death. It is the central and inevitable fact of human existence. When we examine the moments, acts, and statements of all kinds of people -- not only the grief and ecstasy of the greatest poets, but also the huge unhappiness of the average soul…we find, I think, that they are all suffering from the same thing. Loneliness may show more about our self than we can easily bear , than the messy living through socialization. Loneliness is the impetus that gives us autonomy, the ability to make decisions on our own terms. Although the feeling may be painful, it is only through loneliness that we become true individuals able to make rational decisions and able to interact with others as rational beings.