Feeling lonely through highschool...

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My name is Mandy and my Mum was diagnosed with AS, I'm soon going to be tested for it also, but my family and I are pretty certain I have it.

Does anyone else think highschool sucks?
I don't have any girlfriends that I just hang out with outside of school. Occasionally I'll be invited to a trip to the movies or something with a group of people, but I have to take double my recommended dose of anxiety medication and drag my boyfriend with me each and every time. I'm very lucky to have him because he's one of those nerdy geeky guys it's recommended we associate ourselves with.

He says to me, "why don't you just ring up one of those girls and invite them over?" but I just don't have the confidence, it was shot last time I had a friend over a year ago who complained afterwards that I had bored her to death. Regardless, I suck at entertaining anyone without identical interests to me which consist of Asian drama, Anime, Online RPGs, Gaming and that stuff most chicks shove aside in place of make-up, shopping and where I come from (Australia) getting drunk on weekends. Needless to say, I don't drink.

As my personality has developed, I've seriously detached from most of my old friends and most of their interests seem pretty mundane to me anyway.
Ugh. I seem to live for work and homework, nothing else. My boyfriend and my Mum really are the best things in my life.
Anyone else wanna share their stories?

I am a lot like this, but I see it as a good thing. I'm not like everyone else, but I don't want to be. I'm not them, I'm me, and I'm proud of my differences.

I don't go out to house parties and get drunk like my idiotic peers do, and I'm glad - I'll live longer, and the things I do instead will help me in the long term, or at least keep my entertained in a way I enjoy.

Most of my time is spent in my house, and now I'm out of school the only way I socialise with anyone outside of my family is via the internet - but, again, I don't see this as a problem.

You're lucky you have a partner, though. I don't have a girlfriend and that's the only thing that really does make me feel lonely.

That's a really great way to think of it.
Aren't parties and drinking fraught with terror? My only unhealthy habit is staying up too late with anime.
It's great that you can enjoy talking to your friends over the internet. Lately I've been finding myself blocking people and staying on invisible when I use MSN it literally makes me panic and overheat. When I can't see a person's facial expressions, I have no idea how the person's really feeling and I freak.

I was lucky. Just as the loneliness began to set in and I noticed how little I had begun to socialize with my peers. I got the guts to ask out the only long-term friend of mine who I didn't seem to be drifting away from and I've never regretted the decision since. You sound like a nice person and I've read that self-aware AS people are really capable of having great relationships with a partner, when they find the right person, despite their social ineptitude. Even more capable than neuro-typicals. We don't try to dive into the dating scene nose first.

They are indeed, and to think my mum gets annoyed at me for using my phone at night time

She seriously has no idea how bad NT teenagers are, she should be thankful that me using my gadgets too much seems to be her biggest worry about me



I rarely use MSN because I far prefer e-mail. With MSN I have trouble keeping up with all the multiple conversations I feel I have to respond to right away, whereas e-mail is much more relaxed.



Very lucky indeed, and I hope you're right!

I've had my share of loneliness in high-school too. I don't have any issues interacting with people. It's just that we don't have anything in common. I go to a small church-school so there aren't many to really choose from, but I've found that problem everywhere I go. I can relate to adults better and I seem to get along with them, but I just don't understand kids. It's like there is a wall between you and everyone else, and you don't click with anybody, but you can clearly see everyone else around you clicking and connecting. I find myself sitting there wondering what the problem is.

I can definitely relate with this thread. In my school I think it's more personality crashes than anything. I can't find much things to relate with anybody about and their lives and minds work in completely different ways from mine. I do have a couple of friends but nobody really on best friend status, I don't go out or really do anything during the weekend so it does get pretty lonely.

When I find the right people, I can get on perfectly with them, but oddly, there's always a catch making the friendship harder (usually distance). For example, I went for a week long course in Dublin recently and met loads of people I could get on and talk to for ages and get on with, and I think similar personalities (well not extremely similar but less of a massive divide than the people in my school) helped, or maybe it's just maturity. Who knows. It just sucks they all lived so far away.

Which is where MSN/Facebook should come in handy but I don't really like using that. Whenever I see someone I'd like to talk to on it I want to start talking to them but then my head explodes going "NO DON'T ANNOY THEM" "WHAT IF THEY DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU" "YOU'LL SAY SOMETHING STUPID". Having a convo on those things is a constant panic, especially since with the lack of voices and facial expressions you can't tell if someone's joking or sarcastic or if they want to talk to you or not. It's like actually talking to people in real life except worse since in real life it's easier to tell if someone's in a good mood to talk to or not.

Yeah, I get what you mean. I am on Facebook. I don't chat much, but I comment on people's posts and stuff like that. I would say just be yourself and talk when you feel like it. Sometimes people are busy or something is on their mind, but if you can see what what's going on you could probably judge whether or not to say anything. Just don't "smother" people by trying to open a chat or something like that eight times a day or they will RUN!! I don't do much on weekends or go places with other kids either. I went over to my neighbor's house a few times, but that is about it. All the other boys I know are into either hunting, sports, violent video games, or Family Guy. That's all I ever hear about. I like more creative things like writing, art, and photography. I also play a few games, but we're not into the same ones. I have an autistic boy at my school, but he is so shy that he won't let me talk to him.

Pretty much the only social gatherings I participated in outside of school were with extracurricular clubs. During my underclassman years, I went on fun trips with the newspaper and yearbook staffs, and that gave me a chance to connect with more people. Also, I was involved with the school's drama club, and many of their events were really fun. So although I did feel a little lonely throughout high school, there were still some fun things to do with my extracurricular activities.

Also, you're very lucky to have a boyfriend. I would have killed for a significant other in high school.

Uhhh, Descartes, I don't know if your post in which you said I'm so lucky to have a boyfriend was directed at me or not, but I don't and I'm a guy too. Sorry about this if you were talking to someone else.javascript:emoticon(':oops:')

Hehe I think he meant me in the first post.



I completely feel the same way. I love it when I go to work and I'm working with the older staff and even the bosses, just because they're easy to chat with, than the younger staff a lot of the time. I also like art and writing. Good hobbies right? More productive than shooting indefinitely at high-definition, re-spawning terrorists.



I relate to this too. Particuarly Facebook. If I go onto Facebook and just click around commenting and whatnot, and forget to switch off the chat box in the corner, when someone talks to me I often find myself in an awkward conversation filled with lots of "lol..."s and "so...."s. Uggh.

Okay, thank you for clearing that up. Somehow I thought I was not the only one having that problem. javascript:emoticon(':lol:') I didn't mind that they were into different things than me, but when that's all anyone ever talked about it got old. Especially when it seemed like they couldn't stand anything I liked.

High School was a somewhat pleasant experience. But there's plenty moments of hatred to go around. I was lucky enough in my Freshman year to get into the theater program at the school and I made a good number friends with in that group of people. It was kind of like a family, we all looked after each other. But of course there were people I really felt that just could not stand me, for I would say something nobody else had the guts to say, and I am so awkward that it hurts. Therefore being a perfect target to insults.



Then when I moved to a new town and went to a new school in my Junior year, that was probably my lowest point.

I tried making friends in this theater department, only made two. And nobody liked them ether.
At the last showing of this god-awful version of the Kiss Me Kate, everyone said something nice to the person next to them, I said to Matt "You're the first person to welcome me into this school, and I thank you. I wish that everyone else could have tried to have gotten to know me like you did. Because I know that half the people in this room have never even tried to speak to me, and well, it's kind of....sad" Afterwards when the show was going on he said , "Congratulations, everyone now hates you!" That made me laugh, he then explained that speech made the most awkward silence ever and everyone gave me the look of doom. (Of course I didn't notice).


I never did anything, I couldn't go to any clubs or do tutoring unless in was scheduled way ahead of time because my grandad drove me, and he never had his cell phone on. And any other encounter with a possible friendship turned sour for different reasons.

But senior year was a little better, I got a new boyfriend. I got my own car. I actually found friends that had similar interests and weren't obnoxious, but I still feel left out, because if I'm at a party....what do I do? I just sit there or stand with my arms crossed, confused out of my mind. When someone brings pot or beer I just politely refuse, I don't want that crap in my body.



When most people talk to me, I kind of just nod and make sounds that say 'I agree' and try to keep eye contact. What do they want me to say? I really don't know what to do with people, my idea of a good time is watching a movie. There's is going out and having some sort of "Epic Adventure" into the local forests. It's weird, I actually hate people and society, but at the same time I want to be around the thing I hate because It kind of feels nice to just hang out and laugh about something with other people.

Yeah, high school is pretty unpleasant. They think I have AS, and I am not into high-maintenance girl things like makeup and going to the mall and giggling. I catch bugs and raise the little ones, paint, and play video games. There is a big gap between my interests and those of other girls. I don't want to go hang out with a bunch of ridiculous people and then smoke weed! Luckily, (like the OP) I have a boyfriend that understands. Sometimes, he's the only one who understands, that I can just chill out with and not be expected to do a bunch of lame things involving crowds of people and being loud.

This happens a lot. I have a hard time talking to people that don't have my interests, and if I do talk to people, I sound like I'm on such a different level than they are (e.g. equating beauty with different cultures, asking their opinion on a true, deep, "kindred-spirit" kind of love), and they get bored, or say, "Don't talk about it. It's not normal.". I feel guilty afterwards, and this pretty much makes me isolated, and it makes me miss my friend Ashley more. (She was my only true friend, and she could die at any moment because she could get her head hit any moment; she has idiopathic thrombopenic pupura, and it's really bad.)

I started high school very early (this is my last year in high school). When I first entered HS, I was really happy (ignorant???lolz) ..Ever since I was a kid I would always want to get older so that I can enter HS. It was really different with middle school. There's more work, a lot more homework and assignments.

There are popular kids in high school. I never expected to be one of them. I seriously love my privacy that's why I never liked being popular. It all started when a popular athlete at school asked me out. I refused. He's not bad looking, actually, he's cute. It's just that he's too popular and too "normal" for me. I'd usually prefer unusual guys w/c gives my schoolmates an impression that I'm bad at choosing guys. There were rumors that I dumped him, etc. I never really cared about it though.

Highschool's fun...sometimes boring

At my school, its okay. I do have friends but they aren't the friends that you hang out at malls with. They're just nice to me and that's basically it.

My friends are mostly like my teachers and stuff. In general, most of my really good friends are adults and elderly. I don't have a problem with that, but still.

I have good grades, I work hard, I respect my teachers. I just wish I had more friends my own age. Thats why I joined this thing.