Party fear and decision

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This is basically part 2 of one of my earlier posts where I said I didn't want to go to my friend's birthday party. Well in some ways I do, some ways I don't; I'm very in the middle with everything in life.

Loads of my friends' friends who I don't know are going (from the same college as me, but still I haven't met them), and a few of my friends who I have known for years and see regularly, so about 20+ people, apparently.

The reasons why I would want to go are so I can get drunk on cider (the only thing I can just about stand) and forget my depression for the night. I get so silly and stupid when I am but by God it makes me feel better . Also if there are girls there I can find out how I am trying to talk to them drunk, and outside of school/college.

It would be an experience; I've never been to one of these parties and I'm very curious to see what happens. It's like a science experiment to me.

Now the reasons why I wouldn't want to go is because there are lots of strangers, loud noises, sensory overloading, fear of seeing people being sick after they have drank too much (which my friend says happens a lot with these people), them probably smoking weed, me not being able to fake being an NT and succumbing to my real self etc. So yeah, panic moment here!!

I am just so stuck; Forum you've got to let me know, should I stay (home) or should I go?

How about you count how many pros and cons there are? If there are more pros, you go. If there are more cons, you don't. If you go and you hate it, you can just leave early or something.

There will be people being sick. If you are your 'real self' around the people at the party, I don't see why that would be so bad. They are mostly going to be drunk and/or high, anyway.

I don't drink, but I've been to a lot of those parties before, so I know how they work. Except I see them through sober eyes. I don't know what it would be like to be one of the drunk people, so I can't really give you much insight where that is concerned, haha.

I think you should go. If you don't go, you will say "what if?" until next time. Or at least I did.

Just go, being amongst drunks gives you the possiblity to stop acting - it's the biggest excuse anyone has for their atypical behaviour while partying.

Just let them get drunk first and keep a half-full cider in your hand at all times .

Cheerfully,
Wallourdes