I'm 24 right now. My father, a narcissist that would very likely have been diagnosed, abused my mother and me for many years; she became schizophrenic when I was 15. She is now in a mental hospital because of his behaviour. I know that, at times, I used to feel she was complicit to the abuse because she didn't do anything about it, and in a few instances engaged in it, but it was all because her spirit had been crushed - methodically - by so many people that she simply gave up. By contrast, my scumbag father is now a member of parliament in my home country.
I really, really hope that anyone here who experiences abuse, be it shouting, humiliation, subtle threats, isolation or exploitation, catches the bastard in the act and sends them to jail. I know my mother's story has been repeated many, many times - people's lives are eaten away, slowly and painfully, when these people truly deserve to be thriving.
If any of your parents behaves abusively in any way, towards you or other members of the family, get them on tape. Same thing applies if a sibling is abusive. Check with a lawyer to see what types of recording instruments can be used in various courts (I have heard, but not verified, that you can present a written transcript to the court, and state that it originates from an audio recording, even if the audio recording itself cannot be presented in court); record enough incidents and, if your country has laws regarding this, have them tried for domestic violence, or see if you can sue without paying the lawyer up-front. If the perpetrator is a man, see if you can get support via women's aid organizations.
It doesn't matter if you think most people wouldn't believe you; as long as you have the evidence, and store multiple copies of it safely, it can go anywhere.
I would advise not to blow your cover by trying to blackmail the abuser, but instead, get the information out to the police, media, or whatever group is likely to help you if you suspect that the above two groups cannot.
Again, please do the right thing: record their actions and cripple them. Don't worry about financial or social consequences for your loved ones; inaction inevitably leads to worse consequences and new victims.
16 Sep 2010, 4:04 pm
