Remarks about driver's license, living with parents etc.

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This is my first post here and I will properly introduce myself later in depth and all Glad to have found you!
I need some advice.

People have been poking fun at me or simply making stupid remarks because I am 22 and don't have a driver's license. Not only can I not afford the 2000 bucks it would cost me (how funny? Did I forget to laugh?) or a car or insurance. I am honestly skeptic about whether it would be a responsible decision to go for it. I am dyscalculic and have a terrible eye for distances and no feeling for speed. Two of my comorbidites are ADD and executive dysfunction. Great cocktail for operating heavy machinery. When I was little, I would often crash into something with my bike. When someone asks me if I have a license, I think back of that. U mad? Stay off the sidewalks!

I often drive with my mother, at times with colleagues when they offer it. I never ask for a ride. I walk a lot and do not mind this at all. Some people even asked if I am afraid of driving. So when they ask me why I haven't got my license yet or they make unjust snappy remarks, I tell them only one part of the story. That I cannot afford it. My general pracitioner asked me if I have a license. I said no. He asked me who drives me around, then. I think people don't respect me as a more or less independent individual because of this. It's awkward and I always cannot help but wonder why someone would be interested in this in the first place. At times people are curious, most times they seem to feel superior about this piece of paper.

My mother advised me to tell people who mock me that I am autistic and that some things that are normal in this society for people my age can be harder for me to do. Her idea was that this would make people take a step back and think about whether it's appropriate to judge. I think that is a catastrophic choice. I survived years of bullying and do not think it's clever to expose myself to that again. I think it would make matters worse. And I also would feel like I would be using autism as a shield on a good day, as an excuse on a bad day. I would never want to be associated with planting the idea in people's heads that autistic people are in any shape or form inferior. Society does not have the greatest grasp of "different, not less" as of yet. I am very protective of fellow autistic people and all things activism.

She is actually moving into a new house next year and has told me she wants me to move in. I completely isolate myself when I am living alone and have trouble keeping the place tidy and have terrible time management on top of that. She often asks me if I have eaten or if I'm hungry, as I often only notice when it's too late. On one hand, I know it would be healthy for me. On the other hand, it would probably seem very unhealthy to the outside world. Not like that would matter, but I can already imagine what my acqaintances will say if I would do this. When I was living at home at age 20, people would poke fun at me for it and call me dependent. I spoke to someone who moved out at age 15 with the consent of his parents and he needs to live alone, cannot function otherwise. I also talked online to someone who is in her late 30s and living at home, because she feels she cannot cope with living on her own. Hearing such things makes me reflect a lot. I would love to hear how you handle such situations!

Only get your license when you feel like you're ready.

It's none of anybody's business why.

I didn't get mine until 1998, at age 37.

But one thing that's true: the ability to drive a car is a very liberating thing to me.

I live at home with my parents at age 29, as I am far too sick to be able to do daily tasks and live independently. Even if I were of perfect physical health, I think I would still have the same problems you do OP, with executive functioning, and isolation. It would take every bit of effort I had just to get groceries, feed myself and keep the place tidy on a regular basis.

I do have my liscense, I got it at age 16 and I drove for like 10 years until my health related costs ended up eating too much into my disability budget. My car broke down and I couldn't afford insurance and gas, all that related stuff so I haven't been driving for the last few years. I still renew my liscense, and I guess I could rent a car if I needed to. I really miss driving, as it gave me the ability to have a social life. Now I just sit home all day long, day in, day out. No one wants to date someone who is 29, lives at home with their parents and doesn't drive, work or go to school lol, so *shrugs*. At least as an aspie I can be pretty content being alone day in day out at home.