Why do we fight with our parents?

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It seems like all we want to do is argue with what our parents say. If my room is cluttered, I'll be told to clean it, but I'll want to say "IT'S MY ROOM!" and I feel like I purposely make it slightly dirty to establish difference between myself and my parents. How much do you argue with your parents?

When I argue with my parents it's usually when they started it or said something first. I'm really passive unless provoked. But I get what you mean about "it's my room!". I do that, as well, except when I have nothing to do I tend to clean my room.

I think a lot of fighting with our parents, or atleast for me with mine, is a combination of some aspie traits. Difficulty controlling emotions, raising voice easily, need for "fairness", lack of view of other's oppinions, difficulty understanding basically why they want us to do whatever it is they are forcing us to do, difficulty understanding why they have certain rules, again fairness always gets me!

I think being a teenager also has something to do with it....

I don't bother arguing anymore. Since I'm no longer old enough to be punished for disagreeing, I simply stay out of my mother's world (father is deceased) and make sure she stays out of mine. She treats me with respect as an adult human being, or I am not part of her life. It's that simple.

"It's my room," yes, I've said that. My mother's counterargument was that she had a duty to teach me to keep it clean, so I would know how to do housework when I was on my own. But I'm almost 47 now, and she'd still run my life if I'd let her do it.

EDIT, sorry, I didn't notice at first that this was the adolescent forum. Please feel free to remove this post if it is inappropriate.

I would have to say that the main reason I argue with my dad is because he seems to have a different view on almost as me, and a lot of the things which I disagree with him on are practical and serious matters. I'd discuss details, but frankly I'm quite tired and must sleep soon.

ALL THE TIME.

Well, lets establish what we call a fight, and what initiates a fight because I have different levels of interactions:

These are the initatiators
Level 1- The Reminder: This is when your parents say to do something, and there is about a 50% chance of you doing it....BUT this is only the first reminder.
+This will usually be friendly

Level 2- The Telling: This is anywhere between 3 to 5 times of being told to do something. Also, this implies small tasks like putting away dishes. This usually puts the edge on, but it isn't too bad if you can ignore them or just get it done.
+This may hold an air of annoyance in it

Level 3-The Nag: This can be an
A.) Transformed Telling or a B.) Advanced Reminder.
-In the A category, there is either a repeat of being told something in one day more than 5 times, or being told something over and over again over 3 days.
-In the B category, it implies a level of importance and something you may be procrastinating, applying for college, finishing a paper, etc, etc.
+No matter what, there will be an air of anger hinted in their voice with this.

Level 4- AOA (all out annoyer):
This is a nag to the max. It doesn't matter what they are talking about, but they are no longer nice, they are either yelling or close to yelling.

That was their part, now we come to your part

Each Parent interaction has an equal and opposite child reaction.

The Reminder usually emits an ignorer
The Telling emits a muffled remark, and maybe an action
The Nag gets action usually, and a general dislike towards that person for the day
The AOA is what results in a fight


I have thought about it for a while, and I think it is when you break this dance of actions and reactions when it results in a fight.

Rarely has a fought broken out from a reminder, and somewhat rarely from a telling.

Nags result in fights anywhere from 50% to 75% of the time.

An AOA breaks into a fight pretty much always.

HOWEVER!! !! !
I HAVE BROKEN THE SYSTEM OF FIGHTING......

Remember when I told you about AOA's, and how those piss off most kids (unless they have patience of steel).BUT, what if you didn't hear it, or if you were able to shorten the time you were being yelled at???

I found that when I wear headphones, but pretend like I am paying attention, they don't talk to you as much...espeeeeeeeecialllly during long lectures.

I believe this can fix the problem of fighting or at least reduce it...just make sure that they
*don't see you changing the song, or volume (you can, but they can't see it)
*have your ipod always on hand, or be able to get to it at a moments notice
*nod your head like you are paying attention
*look them in the eyes like you are paying attention

I only argue with my parents when my mother wants me to talk about something or go somewhere I really don't want to talk about/go to. Church, for instance.

Otherwise I don't argue very much.

I only really argue with my mom about schoolwork and stuff.

She's my polarity. I'm a Leo and she's an Aquarius. =P Haha, but in all seriousness I think it's just because we view things differently. I'll ask why about some things. For example once I asked her why I needed to learn the properties in math (Commutative property and stuff) and she told me I needed to know them in order to explain why n+r=s (Just using letters cause I don't feel like using numbers) for example. This makes little sense to me so I say that's stupid and ask why I can't just leave it like it is. Then comes the argument.

I don't really argue with my parents. I get along fine with my dad and my mom is (very wrongly) too convinced that I'm too perfect to argue with me.

I fall between "Rarely" and "Sometimes"; "Occasionally" would describe me best.

I consider myself to be rather lucky actually, my mom is usually understanding of such things. However, whenever I do get into an argument with my parents, we usually come to a compromise without anything getting too ugly (I'll take out the trash if you shut the heck up).

Now, other types of arguments happen on a daily basis. If my mom tries to argue with me on something such as our routers security settings, I can't help but to prove to her that she is wrong. With my dad, its generally a different story. For example, he was typing up a report and the power went out. He thought it would save his work, I told him he was stupid for thinking that because it's in the RAM and when the power goes out all that gets dumped. Well what do you know, when he rebooted the computer a message comes up asking if you would like to recover the file. I really need to stop arguing with people, a lot of the time I think I'm right, but I'm actually wrong because I forget about something.