Not in a good place right now

Post Reply New Topic

My life seems to suck so much right now. I have a loving family but that doesnt seem to be enough. I have had a few friendships with aspies but recently i have just had enough. The ones i had been friends whith were nothing like me and frankly i found them horrible. I have come to the conculison i dont want anything to do with aspies anymore. Here i guess ill still go to but i dont want to be friends with them in real life. Im starting to think ill give up on friendships all together. It seems to be so much effort as i have not found the right friend yet. All of my friendships ive had havent been good. Basicaly theres been two types. When ive tried to be friends with nts they have used me. The other is with aspies and they havent been pulling there weight in our friendship at all. I seemed to be the one doing all the work. It was horrible and i found them annoying and obnoxious and i was nothing like them. That was only 3 and i know there will be ones like me out there but i dont care anymore.

I am in such a horrible frame of mind at the moment i dont care about the world anymore. I want to give up. I want to stay in bed for ever and never wake up so i dont have to face all the pain. Its all to much effort. I see people who can help but it seems like i am past that stage. I have been seeing people since i was little and still feel like this. I really cant take it anymore and was wondering if maybe anyone else was going through the same situation as me or if anyone had any advice. Ive been told time and time again it will get better but i can tbe bothered anymore. Ive always had depression but lately its been the worst it has been and is really bad. I have a couple of things to look forward to but even they dont make me happy! Its so horrible i just want it to go away!

Hey, I hear you melly-belly. I'm your age, had some crap friendships. For the whole eighth grade year, I was pretty depressed, although maybe not for the same reasons. Having a loving family didn't seem to assuage the negative emotions. I'm susceptible to manipulation and when I think it's going great, my mom would be telling me so and so is manipulating me and I wouldn't have the slightest idea as to what I should believe. I've befriended mostly NTs (had one ASD friend in 2nd grade, that's about it) and I didn't feel any real camaraderie and the one I do feel I have that bond with is moving back across the country.

When you mentioned your aspie-friends not pulling the weight on the friendships like you have, I feel like I'm one of those people. I never had a friendship that lasted through time and space. After I switched schools, I lose contact every goddamn time. The issue for me was that I would contemplate keeping in contact, but in the end, I didn't pull through

Thanks for replying. I am looking forward to camp and then about a month after that i am going to my first concert. But even then i still think about all the negatives and just want to give up before then. Its good to hear im not the only one that has had simliar troubles in friendships!

Friendships are a waste of time for the most part. I haven't made a new friend in real life since the 5th grade. That was over 6 years ago. Don't be too concerned about it. There's nothing wrong with not having any friends. NT's might think that's crazy, but that's their problem.

I know how you feel. It just feels like everything has gone wrong, and you have no one and nothing. Believe me though, IT WILL GET BETTER! 14 was a tough age for me too (16 now). But the next year, things completely turned around. What I felt helped was occupying myself with something semi-social. That way, I was able to have fun and make a few friends, but at the same time not get too much. Don't shut yourself down, though. A few possibilities that you might want to consider are the WP chat (I made good friends there), online gaming, and social networking. All people are different, but I found that doing things online with other people has helped me (especially when I am going through tough times) not isolate myself, yet keep the level of social interaction to what I can handle.

i think part of the problem is how you see things. nt's will mess with you because they expect you to mess with them back like an exchange. autistic people can be too narrow in their interest to be worth talking to.