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HelloLovely
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31 Mar 2011, 8:29 pm

hello
I'm not sure how I should tell my friends I have AS.
It just doesent have an easy way to bring it up...
any suggestions?



Jonsi
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31 Mar 2011, 8:38 pm

Tell them about it? Is it embarrassing to you or something?



HelloLovely
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31 Mar 2011, 8:39 pm

well...no...:/
i just dont want to make a big deal of it.
sorry i offended you.



Northeastern292
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31 Mar 2011, 8:44 pm

I just do. Plain as that. I wear it as a scar I'm proud to have, even if the scar sometimes becomes a problem.



AstroGeek
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31 Mar 2011, 8:54 pm

I asked a similar question a while back and the responses I got generally told me I shouldn't bother. If a friend is a true friend they like you in spite and because of your Aspie traits. If nothing else they will know that you have these traits. Putting a name to them won't change that. So why bother bringing up an awkward topic?

Mind you, I still understand the appeal in doing so. Maybe you should do what I've resolved to: not try to bring it up, but if the conversation ever turns towards the Autism Spectrum or Asperger's (and it has a couple of times with my friends, before I came to this decision) then just mention it off-hand then.



HelloLovely
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31 Mar 2011, 9:06 pm

Im sorry if i made anyone feel bad about having AS!
Im honestly proud to have it and I see it as a blessing, rather than a curse.
I just didnt know if i should tell people or not.



SammichEater
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31 Mar 2011, 9:08 pm

I haven't told anyone, there's no reason to.



Northeastern292
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31 Mar 2011, 9:29 pm

HelloLovely wrote:
Im sorry if i made anyone feel bad about having AS!
Im honestly proud to have it and I see it as a blessing, rather than a curse.
I just didnt know if i should tell people or not.


I see it as both a blessing and a curse. In some ways, my AS has kept me safe (as I've avoided a lot of crap my 17 year old NT brother has gone through).



nunctecognovi
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01 Apr 2011, 2:36 am

If they are REAL FRIENDS you can tell them anything.



jmnixon95
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04 Apr 2011, 8:33 am

What will you get out of telling them?



daedal
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04 Apr 2011, 3:39 pm

I would only tell them in a quiet time, never in a group, and only in response to something they said. Not just "hey, thought you'd like to know...this".
And I'd find it hard telling my old best friend- she is very straight and normal and doesn't like freaks. I mean she'll be nice to them but she gravitates towards the normal. Goodness knows why she put up with me!
Oh and a very old friend I'd find hard telling, too. She's very tolerant, but it'd just be weird.



chrissyrun
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04 Apr 2011, 8:20 pm

I agree with a lot of what people are saying here:
*NEVER say it in groups
*Only tell people that you trust
*When you do tell them, make sure to give them the technical definition and stuff

I think (aside from teachers and family) I have only told one friend and my cross-country team (only the girls, and only the people in the same grade as me,....like 10 of them, and that was after a break down, and was stupid).

Have you told anyone?
Maybe try telling a teacher you trust and you can see the reaction that people have (with a more stable person...because they are old, so they don't freak out....most the time)

Good luck!
(That reminds me, I have had a goal of not telling any of my teachers this year that I am an aspie....aside from the teacher that had me last year(for asl) none of my teachers know. I have almost made it through the year! Sorry, but I consider it something that is a hindrance to me. With you, you need to decide if it is something that you want to embrace and be whatever and play it off as cool, or if you want to try and forget about it and overcome it. Either way, it takes work and courage. )



melly-belly
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10 May 2011, 10:17 pm

I disagree with most of the people here. Firstly of all i dont see how you could have offended anyone or made them feel bad about having AS, you came her for advice and thats what we should do on here, help each other out so dont feel bad. I do tell my friends who i trust. I dont have many friends but the ones i do, i tell. I have lost friends in the past who i have told and sometimes it has backfired and turned into rumours but if you are protected your whole life then the bad things will be much worse if you have never experienced them. That being said i didnt lose them because i told them i had aspergers, turns out they just wernt really my friends and it is very hard for me to tell.

I think its important for a good friendship to be honest. You will probably find that your friends can help you out with things you dont understand and maybe they will be more understanding if you tell them why you cant handle one thing in particuler and then they wont do it (that happened to me.) It can be kind of awkward if you have never mentioned it before and have been friends with them for a while. Maybe try writing them a letter and explaining? I always write my mum letters or emails if i find it to hard to talk to her about it face to face. It works so maybe give that a shot. Otherwise maybe your parents or a teacher could help you or give you some advice. Good Luck with what you decide to do :)



bradt4evr
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15 May 2011, 8:53 pm

HelloLovely wrote:
Im sorry if i made anyone feel bad about having AS!
Im honestly proud to have it and I see it as a blessing, rather than a curse.
I just didnt know if i should tell people or not.


Dont worry about it, you are only trying to get help. To be honest with you im facing the exact same problem, its not that were ashamed of it, its just that society likes to categorize anything out of the ordinary as weird, abnormal, and theyll throw u into the bin of life labeled FREAK. I have been thinking that if you really do think the person is your friend maybe just sit down with them, tell them about your A.S, and explain just what it is. explain that its not some deadly diesease like aids or that it doesnt mean your mentally ill, it just means you have a different way of thinking and that you want them to accept you for who you are, if they are your friend i bet they will. :)



Yowuza
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16 May 2011, 11:34 am

SammichEater wrote:
I haven't told anyone, there's no reason to.

This.



obichris
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16 May 2011, 4:43 pm

I'm going through the same thing. Being newly diagnosed I have been reading and researching in that typical aspie way that we are famous for and I can't help but want to discuss it with those that are close to me. However, I have found throughout life that whenever I open up to anyone, it most always backfires. I'm left in an impasse.

To this date I have discussed with my parents and one friend only. After doing some research of their own my parents said, "Well that explains a lot!" However, the friend told me to get a second opinion. He has only known me a few years and mostly professionally where I always had my guard up.

My consensus right now is to not mention it unless it is important to a situation or someone bring up the topic with me.