Do you think it's rude to ask a classmate if they've got AS

Post Reply New Topic

This one girl in one of my classes says she has ADHAD.

And a BUNCH of young ladies in my Drama and Speech class so OBVIOUSLY have it.

YOu can just tell.

So anyways isn't it kind of like asking about if someone's pregnant?

It's not bad, but if you're wrong...

I wouldn't ask them.

Yes, it would be rude. I don't think you should ask people personal stuff about their health unless they start talking about it first (and even then...)

Yeah its rude.

But then again, even if you are rude, people might be too polite to call you on it. So you can be rude once and hope to get away. At least in this particular situation it might be worth it.

You have no need to know. It doesn't sound like the person is a friend of yours anyway so I respectfully suggest you mind your own business.

You have no need to know. It doesn't sound like the person is a friend of yours anyway so I respectfully suggest you mind your own business.

I would say don't ask.

I don't know about you, but when I was first diagnosed I was a little ashamed, certainly shocked, and I suppose almost embarassed. I had to think for a long time what those feelings were, because I have a lot of trouble understanding emotion, and for a long time it was just 'bad'. I had thought for years that I was just 'quirky' different, and totally unique, when really there was a whole world of people like me. Anyway, my point is, those feelings aren't exactly good, so it can't be nice to know someone thinks you're on the spectrum, particularly if they're the average NT, who doesn't really understand Asperger's or Autism.

I struggle with this all the time - more with parents of children I see, as I hope they have the benefits I have of knowing.

I'd agree that this is private information. How do you feel about your own diagnosis? If you're fairly open about being on the spectum (again, something I'd be cautious about as you want people to know you for who you are all together, not just one bit of you) people who want to talk about it will ask you.

We're not quite in the world where being on the spectrum is as casually relevant socially as what color shirt someone is wearing, or their college major or job experience, but I hope someday we will be.

There are certain things that fall under the "need to know" rule. If you don't need to know about these things, don't ask, and if they don't need to know, don't tell. Here's a list of some "need to know" stuff:

- Medical info, including mental health and special needs info.
- Financial info.
- Personal ID info. Do not give out or ask for SS#, phone #, address, email, credit card #s, bank account #s, any other financial account info, PIN #s, passwords, license #, etc., unless there is a real need to know.
- Private info, such as private family issues.

There may be other "need to know" stuff I missed, but this covers most of it.

Don't ask them.

If you need to know, find some way to express that you have Aspergers and do not know any/many people who are autistic like yourself. If they have it, they are bound to say they do. Also, don't be talking about this all day. It will annoy them.

Asking people if they have Aspergers just because of the way they act WILL offend someone if they don't have it (or don't know they have it.) It's not a good idea.

Why would you need to ask unless you were close friends with them?

I think you should focus on how you are doing with life.

Well, if you must know...

You could do it the way I asked someone it he was gay.(he was)

"I heard a rumor about you, and I wanted to get it straight from the horses mouth rather than believe the gossip mill without question. Are you (the thing you want to know)? You don't have to tell me."

It's kind of backhanded and if they realize you're lying they might be upset, so do it rarely, not more than once if possible. But the guy I asked actually was like "yeah I am, thanks for telling me there were rumors. Do you know who started them?"

So yeah.
I felt horrible after doing it though.

Yeeeah - unless there actually WAS a rumor, I wouldn't do that - you've made someone wonder which people are talking about them, which in addition to making them uncomfortable, could cause them to implicate you in spreading the rumors. I'm not saying what you did was wrong - but I think it's not a good strategy.

It is very, very hard for a person on the spectrum (I'm including myself in this instance) to stop themselves from asking about things that make them curious, especially since I know if someone asked me if I were gay or had AS or whatever I might welcome the opportunity to be open about things.

I don't think the majority of the world feels the same. We have an obligation to respect other people's privacy when they want it respected.

Yeah. I know.

Blah.



I'm also very open about things. I don't hide anything from anyone.