Making friends?
I have two "sub-questions" here, but I think both of them apply to this question. I guess I will start by explaining my problem.
I have no friends. I have been homeschooled for as long as a can remember, and I have had very little interaction with anyone other than my immediate family. I don't really like to be around my family very much, because they make lots of strange noises that really bother me. I have learned how to program applications for computers, and I even have my own website, all because I am not around other people.
My first problem here is that I have told my family that I just like to program things, instead of telling them that I do do not like behind near them. Unfortunately, I also told them that I don't want friends. I am starting to feel very lonely, and, as I said, being around my family just makes me mad. So, is there any way that I can make friends without telling my family that I don't like them?
My second problem is that I have lots of neighbors, but they are all about two years younger than me. I have had this odd feeling whenever I have seen one of them, a girl living across the street. I cannot take my eyes off her, and I do not know if I have a crush on her, or if it is just my loneliness. If I do have a crush on her, how can I know? And, how can I approach younger kids in a way that won't be threatening to them or their parents?
One last note. None of the kids ever come to ask to play or anything, so I can't just wait for them to do that and accept the offer.
ShenLong
Veteran
Joined: 13 Aug 2009
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,277
Location: With Murphy Freestylin' and Ricky Easy
Facebook is a great way to make friends and build social skills as is this sight. Last year, I decided to do home school as I thought there was no point in going to school. No one liked me. Over the course of my eleventh grade year, facebook, WP, and being part of video gaming clans helped me develop my social skills to the point that I'm rarely akward around people and I went from having about 1 friend to about 20 close friends and dozens of other acquaintances. Also, being around the anonymous helped me develop a sense of twisted witty humor, and this often gets me more friends. However, as the anons aren't the best people to hang around or emulate, I would not suggest you do so.
You can't wait for people to come ask you to do anything and you shouldn't go up to them either. Friendships tend to happen accidentally by a variety of means, but they don't tend to happen out of the blue. If they do, accept the invitation to become friends.
This is what my dad says about axial networks, and I think he is correct here.
"I do not Ike the idea of social networks. They take the "realness" out of relationships. Yes, you have your "friends", but do you really know them? To know your "friends", you have to see them, talk to them, and maybe even get to know their other friends, otherwise you have no idea about them."
So, besides using social networks, is there any way that I can start a friendship with somebody in my neighborhood?
ShenLong
Veteran
Joined: 13 Aug 2009
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,277
Location: With Murphy Freestylin' and Ricky Easy
"I do not Ike the idea of social networks. They take the "realness" out of relationships. Yes, you have your "friends", but do you really know them? To know your "friends", you have to see them, talk to them, and maybe even get to know their other friends, otherwise you have no idea about them."
So, besides using social networks, is there any way that I can start a friendship with somebody in my neighborhood?
Facebook is really just the root. I learn about what my friends are doing and what their interests are. I talk to them however by phone or by skype(video chat) and sometimes via steam(internet game network comparable to PSN or xboxlive). Even ones I don't personally know. I'm actually better friends with many of my online friends as opposed to those I attend school with. When you speak to them without a block of text restricting you or share experiences such as trolling weeaboos, they become as real as any friend you'll ever have. I hope to eventually meet many of my friends face to face one day or even work alongside them(many of my friends aim to be biology majors like myself)
As for jumpstarting friendships offline, that's a bit more difficult. I meet many of my irl friends for the first time online or interact with them mostly online in the beginning before I actually wind up hanging out with them. Aspies fail at social skills, but they can learn them through observation and emulation and through rial and error. An online medium takes away much of that awkwardness. That was, as I said earlier, how I developed my social skills.
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