Oh No A party

Post Reply New Topic

I've just been invited to an 18th birthday party. I'd quite like to go as the girl who invited me is nice but I'm really scared and worried that I won't know what to do. Any advice?

Thanks

I was invited to an 18th b-day party a couple of weeks ago, but I couldn't bring up the courage to go.
If you have the same problem, I would suggest explaining why you can't attend the party and meet up with her later, that worked for me at least.

I felt this way about 5 months ago, but instead of of it being an 18th birthday party it was prom (probably similar). I had no idea how to dance (still don't really know), what to do or how to even talk to new people well. This was my new school, too, I was only there for about 3 months beforehand. The first hour or two were scary, I didn't really know anyone or know what to do, but then things started to flow, I started dancing and eventually danced with someone else. It's something i'm so very glad I found the courage to do.

Since you'd like to go, you should go. If you worried you'll look odd not knowing what to do, don't be, things will look worse in your head then they will be in reality. My advice, when you get stuck, is to just walk around. I never stayed in one place long unless I was eating something (I ate slowly to keep things going quickly). I also didn't walk very fast.

This is all I can think of right now. I really hope you go.

I would like to go. Do you have any advice for making small talk? I don't want to be the person who stands in the corner and rants about James Bond Movies.

Thanks

Hm, this is something i'm still trying to figure out.

Make sure to smile. As long as they don't walk away or say something that ends the conversation,the conversation doesn't really have to flow smoothly, so if there's a silence after your done talking about James Bond movies just ask about current events (such as hurricane sandy aftermath, what they think of it) or what they wanna do after high school, ect. Make sure you acknowledge them as well, don't act like you want them to shut up (by being too quiet, looking annoyed).

What I've done in the past is nodding my head, the occasional small smile (if it's nothing bad), and overall just making different facial expressions for the right situation, which I know is difficult for some. Approaching somebody to talk with them, well, this is where I fall from. If you know them, just go up and say "Hey" if they say "hi" back, just ask them what's up and do the above. If you don't know the person then say "hey, i'm [name]" they'll probably introduce themselves and just ask them how they know the birthday person, if they like James Bond (if they say yes you can tell them the short version of your rant, don't go on for too long), what they think of current events and so on. This stuff is always going to feel awkward to everyone involved, so don't worry about it, and I can't stress that enough. It's ok for there to be short moments of silence.

Of course, if they look busy, don't bother them. This is my advice from what I've learned over the years, some from wrongplanet, some from experience. It's still something I change and work on so you may want to find someone else's advice as well, for all I know this could be horrible advice. Just ask if there's anything you want me to elaborate on/more advice/whatever.

Thanks very much there is just one thing I'd like to know; do you know anyways of telling if someone is bored as I don't want that to happen.

Pretty much if they just keep looking around instead of focusing on what you're saying. Their face might go blank, or they might not even acknowledge that you're talking to them. Go ahead and talk about your interests, but try not to blab on about them. Try asking the other person what they're interested in, so it's balanced.

Ok thanks what about a present? It's an 18th birthday party for a girl what should I bring?

What Makayla said.

As for a present, I would just go for a gift card to Amazon or another place if you know what she likes ($25 if you have the money). Or you could ask her what she wants, I think that's a nice option.

I'd have to say give her money. Then she'll be able to purchase something she wants and you won't have to worry about getting her
something she won't like.

I've been invited to one of my friend's Halloween party, but I declined because it was at her friend's house (a friend I never met) and there were going to be a lot of people I didn't know. If you're too uncomfortable to go, then don't go. Does your friend know that you have Aspergers? If he/she does, then your friend should know about the difficulties that comes to socializing.

No she doesn't know about it, I don't think so anyway. The party is tonight and I've decided I'm going to go (I decided yesterday) I'm quite nervous but hopefully it should be ok.

Good to hear! I know this won't help much (easier said than done), but don't worry too much. Have fun.

Ok I'm getting ready to go, I'll let you know how it goes. (so nervous).

It was actually really good and I'm glad I went!!

Good for you qwerty! What did you get her?