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Cockroach96
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25 Jul 2015, 9:53 am

I'm 18 and I live with them. They want to take me to a psychotherapist to improve my social skills. That would be a waste of resources, because NTs can't understand aspies. I've been to psychotherapists before, and they couldn't help me. My parents think that I should try harder.
I told my parents that I have my own social survival strategies and I don't need any help, but they don't understand. How can I get them to leave me alone?


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Spiderpig
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28 Jul 2015, 5:49 am

Get a job and move out as soon as you can. You'll regret it otherwise, or, worse, you won't regret it because your will to live an interesting life, looking for opportunities, rather than for obstacles and excuses to waste your time, energy and money, will be already broken.


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Cockroach96
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04 Aug 2015, 4:13 am

No offense, but how is an aspie supposed to get a job nowadays?


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Rudin
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05 Aug 2015, 10:42 am

Cockroach96 wrote:
No offense, but how is an aspie supposed to get a job nowadays?


The same way anyone else would get a job.


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kraftiekortie
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05 Aug 2015, 1:42 pm

Many Aspies have jobs here.



Outrider
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06 Aug 2015, 4:56 am

I find it very odd they are forcing you to go into psychotherapy anyway.

You're a legal adult and can make your own choices.

However that also does mean that they can legally kick you out at anytime.

I'd say don't risk it, sir, but at the same time it's not like they can FORCE you to attend therapy sessions.



Cockroach96
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14 Aug 2015, 6:54 am

It's OK now. They are no longer forcing me, they just say I will go to therapy when I want. Which is never. :wink:
I've had bad experiences with therapists, they considered me weird, annoying and uncooperative. The last one told me to just ignore my Asperger's and socialize. No more of this garbage.


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Rudin
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14 Aug 2015, 7:10 am

Cockroach96 wrote:
I'm 18 and I live with them. They want to take me to a psychotherapist to improve my social skills. That would be a waste of resources, because NTs can't understand aspies. I've been to psychotherapists before, and they couldn't help me. My parents think that I should try harder.
I told my parents that I have my own social survival strategies and I don't need any help, but they don't understand. How can I get them to leave me alone?


If your social skills are interfering with your life i.e you can't get a job because you are rude then you should try to improve them.

I worked with a therapist to improve my social skills, it made me a bit better at recognizing facial expressions and body language but I still am not that good at it.

Are you going to college any time soon?


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"There are two types of cryptography in this world: cryptography that will stop your kid sister from looking at your files, and cryptography that will stop major governments from reading your files."

-Bruce Schneider


Cockroach96
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14 Aug 2015, 7:20 am

I will start going to university in October.
The only way to avoid being rude, is to only say things that are absolutely harmless.


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Adamantium
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14 Aug 2015, 10:58 am

Cockroach96 wrote:
I will start going to university in October.
The only way to avoid being rude, is to only say things that are absolutely harmless.


There is a difference between saying things that are absolutely harmless and not being relentlessly negative.

Improving social skills is a good idea and so is trying to be likeable.



Cockroach96
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14 Aug 2015, 3:05 pm

Trying to be likable as an aspie is like harassing a stray dog and hoping it won't bite you.
I don't try to be likable, I try to be acceptable. That is already difficult enough.
The harder you try, the harder you fail.


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Peacesells
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31 Aug 2015, 8:16 pm

Rudin wrote:
If your social skills are interfering with your life i.e you can't get a job because you are rude then you should try to improve them.

I agree, if you think that AS would making it so hard for you to find a job then you need some help maybe.
Cockroach96 wrote:
I've had bad experiences with therapists, they considered me weird, annoying and uncooperative. The last one told me to just ignore my Asperger's and socialize. No more of this garbage.

Perhaps find a psychologist who doesn't need a psychologist himself. :D



MistyMay
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04 Sep 2015, 9:39 pm

Cockroach96 wrote:
Trying to be likable as an aspie is like harassing a stray dog and hoping it won't bite you.
I don't try to be likable, I try to be acceptable. That is already difficult enough.
The harder you try, the harder you fail.


Do you have friends or a girlfriend? Do you want friends or a girlfriend or are you just fine as-is with your social life? If it's the latter and your autism isn't interfering with your life or preventing you from social activities you'd like to partake in, then therapy's pointless.



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09 Sep 2015, 11:03 pm

Cockroach96 wrote:
I don't try to be likable, I try to be acceptable. That is already difficult enough.


To be likable is to be acceptable. If you are having a hard time with someone, try to
"Walk a mile in their shoes"
Pay attention to how you talk or interact with someone. Then imagine that they treated you like how you treated them. Don't just think. Imagine it all you can. This method helped me when I was struggling with people. Even though it might be hard at first (it was hard for me too) like any skill, the more you use it the better it is.



Cockroach96
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12 Sep 2015, 11:38 am

I don't have friends or girlfriend, and I'm OK without them. I don't need or want a social life.
Being an aspie is not a problem for now, but I'm afraid it will prevent me from getting a job.
By the way, I've been approached by cute girls and I blew it off in typical aspie fashion. I hope I'll get another chance in university. I don't really need a girlfriend, but having one would be awesome!


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Waterfalls
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12 Sep 2015, 11:48 am

I think to give up on therapy because you've had past bad experiences is like giving up on life because you've had bad experiences. You can, or you keep trying. Presumably your parents had a reason they wanted you to go to therapy, and I think discussing their thinking with them to try to understand is much better than just saying no. You might still not want to, but getting clear what they want and then knowing that you listened is a good thing. Also therapists knowledgeable about working with people on the spectrum are very different from therapists with no experience.