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Yayoi
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31 Jan 2014, 5:24 am

Most of the other kids at my school have part time jobs, are learning to drive and are in relationships, but I'm still not up to any of that at 17 and it frustrates me, even if I still feel unprepared for adulthood. My parents are pressuring me to do more adult things like drive, get a job and start doing things for myself without being asked, but I'm not ready.

Anyone else here feel like this? I'm starting university next year and want to live alone, but am scared because I don't have the skills to do it.



WolfLonely1
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31 Jan 2014, 5:58 am

We are still young and we have a lot time to learn these things.
But anyway, I have totally same "problem". And understand you.
I don't do any of these things too and don't have any experience of these things. I would like to try to search itself summer job, but I'm just too "afraid" and don't have enough skills to search itself job. That's why I'm not never been in any kind of summer job, even if I would really wanted it.

My grandfather is only who pressure me to go to driving school. And I don't wanna it. I know that I don't have enough skills in it, and as I take stress in every little things, so it would be terrible.
I just don't see myself driving car, too absurd for me.
I don't actually wanna to move live alone for a long time yet, I have time to do it. But as I wanna do it someday, I know that I don't have enough skills when it's time to it. My psychologist said that I can get support for living alone, but when I wanna get along alone. A bit contradictory.

I have problems with shopping things and other everyday running errands. But now I get some kind of help with occupational therapist in my school and I've been few times in shopping with her and it went fine. I'm sure that I can learn to get along alone in shopping, but it just takes some time, as I'm not had friends whom with I would learn these things.



Soccer22
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31 Jan 2014, 10:19 am

You're not alone. I'm 24 and I still haven't had a job and no college degree or any type of skill that would allow me to be alone. I did get my license at 16 though and it was because I like to be in control and I hated feeling trapped at home or at a friends house and I couldn't leave. With a car and a license I was able to leave situations where I felt uncomfortable, and I was able to leave for lunch my senior year of high school and de-stress at home for that time and come back to school feeling refreshed. If I didn't have a car or a license I wouldn't have had that freedom. Oh and by the way, my first ever relationship was at 20 years old and it wasn't anything special. No need to rush to "keep up" with others. You're an individual with individual needs. Work at your own pace.



droppy
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31 Jan 2014, 2:01 pm

I am 16 and no one of the people of my same age range I know have part-time jobs; only one of them is learning to drive.
I am currently learning to drive (my father started teaching me this summer, he knows it takes longer for me to learn and he wanted me to start early).
Almost every person I know that is around my age has already been in a relationship or is currently in one, but I haven't been in a relationship yet because I'm a spider :lol:
Other teens also are more able than I am at going to places by their own while I have troubles doing it due to paranoia and my getting lost easily.
I'm somewhat behind my peers for what concerns some areas, but I think that in a way or another I'll be able to make it. After all my father has AS as well and he made it anyway.



bcousins
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02 Feb 2014, 12:26 am

Yayoi wrote:
Most of the other kids at my school have part time jobs, are learning to drive and are in relationships, but I'm still not up to any of that at 17 and it frustrates me, even if I still feel unprepared for adulthood. My parents are pressuring me to do more adult things like drive, get a job and start doing things for myself without being asked, but I'm not ready.


Trust me, it gets easier. You don't need a high-maintenance other half.


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LuigiDude
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02 Feb 2014, 1:12 pm

I actually feel the same way. I'm 17, and I do have my license, but I don't drive that much. I've never had a girlfriend, and I've never had a job. I sometimes feel as though I don't have enough skills to make it on my own.



modernmax
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02 Feb 2014, 2:20 pm

I'm 15, I can drive, I don't have a job and I'm not going to get one until I finish school, I haven't had a true girlfriend yet. But a while back I realized that I was a little late doing things the other kids did, like I learned to ride a bike and to swim when I was 8, took baths until I was almost 10, and slept in my parents bed until I was 11 or 12. Don't know if it had to do with AS or not.


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Herpaderp
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04 Feb 2014, 4:17 pm

You know, it all kinda depends on why this bothers you. Do you want to get a driver's license because other people your age have a driver's license, or because you actually need one? I am 21 right now, don't have a driver's license yet and I don't feel like I need one.

About jobs: My advice is to start with a job that has little to no social interaction. That way you won't have to deal with all the aspects of having a job right away. I was 16 when I took my first job, as a mailman basically. This van would drop off boxes with mail, I would sort them and deliver them to where they need to go. No pesky social interactions, just a friendly greeting now and then. And then, after maybe three years, it got boring and I knew I was ready to try something else. So I started putting books back on shelves in the library. Still a job that offers routine, but I had colleagues that I would occasionally chat with, which I think helped in my development.

Hope this helps :oops:


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ashleyangela89
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05 Feb 2014, 2:36 pm

bcousins wrote:
Yayoi wrote:
Most of the other kids at my school have part time jobs, are learning to drive and are in relationships, but I'm still not up to any of that at 17 and it frustrates me, even if I still feel unprepared for adulthood. My parents are pressuring me to do more adult things like drive, get a job and start doing things for myself without being asked, but I'm not ready.


Trust me, it gets easier. You don't need a high-maintenance other half.


I am 24 years old and I know how you feel. I got my full driver's license at age 22 and it has helped me out quite a bit but I still feel a bit limited because it is not my car that I drive. It is my mom's. I do plan on buying my own this summer though, and I hope it will work out, because then I can come and go as a I please and I don't have to work around my mom's schedule all the time anymore. It gets rather annoying doing all that if you know what I mean.

Things will get better I promise. You just gotta give it time. The way I see it, it is like we are all a few years younger mentally than we really are. Like even though I am 24, in my head I am actually 17 or 18. It is not always a bad thing.



Girlwithaspergers
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15 Mar 2014, 12:02 pm

I feel the same way. I'm 18 and I don't drive, date, or work or anything. :cry:



Sempiternal
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20 Mar 2014, 4:24 am

I don't drive or have a part-time job or relationship. A lot of the people I know in the same age-range only do about one or two of these things. A good proportion of them don't do any at all though, and I wouldn't really call them behind everyone else. Everyone has different priorities in life.

I did want to drive though, but I wanted to start learning last year when I had more time. My parents said no and to focus on school. Now they want me to get my permit this year when I don't even have time to sleep. :roll:

I did want a part-time job though (just so I wouldn't feel bad about asking my parents for money for non-essential things), but my parents wanted me to focus on school.

However, I don't really care about relationships. I don't think I'd feel comfortable getting into that kind of thing. It's okay though. My parents don't want me to be in a relationship anyway. They want me to focus on school. :lol:


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