Do you care about acting like a "real man" (or wom

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muslimmetalhead
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01 Aug 2012, 1:44 pm

IMO that is what most Aspies have trouble with as gender norms are directly related to social norms.
Stereotypically, the guys act feminine and the girls are aggressive and get called b*tches or something similar.

Also, due to the AS, our emotional maturity during adolescence comes later.

Now, IDK about "girl stuff" aside from maybe beauty rituals, but this is a good website for the guys to develop personality development.

http://artofmanliness.com/2010/01/06/45-manly-hobbies/


P.S. What are some other manly hobbies and how should I get into them?


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again_with_this
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01 Aug 2012, 1:54 pm

I always thought the stereotype was that AS guys seemed passive and slovenly, not necessarily girly.

Some of the solitary pursuits seem interesting, but I think a lot of manly hobbies revolve around male bonding and socializing as in playing team sports, joining fraternities, etc. Lack of coordination, but also lack of neurotypical sociability, makes these things difficult and unappealing to the average aspie, I'd assume.

What do you hope to gain? Feeling more like a man? Feeling more NT? Getting a NT girlfriend? Getting social approval from NT men?

Not criticizing, just curious what you goal is. Do you not feel manly enough or think you act too effeminate?



Sweetleaf
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01 Aug 2012, 1:57 pm

No I don't give a crap about it.


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muslimmetalhead
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01 Aug 2012, 2:09 pm

[quote="again_with_this"]I always thought the stereotype was that AS guys seemed passive and slovenly, not necessarily girly.

Yeah, I suppose so, but it makes us look like we're not very masculine.

Some of the solitary pursuits seem interesting, but I think a lot of manly hobbies revolve around male bonding and socializing as in playing team sports, joining fraternities, etc. Lack of coordination, but also lack of neurotypical sociability, makes these things difficult and unappealing to the average aspie, I'd assume.

We bond simply by engaging in the activity together. As well as making an actual effort to connect with the other while simultaneously acknowledging boundaries.

What do you hope to gain? Feeling more like a man? Feeling more NT? Getting a NT girlfriend? Getting social approval from NT men?

I lack confidence and self-esteem, which are essential to being a man. It's not about approval from others as well as making me feel like a decent person (who would hopefully attract decent company)
Not criticizing, just curious what you goal is. Do you not feel manly enough or think you act too effeminate?[/quote]
This.


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Who_Am_I
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01 Aug 2012, 6:06 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
No I don't give a crap about it.


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Squirsh
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01 Aug 2012, 6:20 pm

I'm not even sure what a "real woman" is supposed to be, let alone how to be one, so whether I am one or not doesn't really bother me.



Apple_in_my_Eye
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01 Aug 2012, 9:01 pm

Ugh. I agree with Sweetleaf. I'd rather do what I want to do.

And I got complimented on my fruity (homemade) shirt yesterday. So there.



largosan
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01 Aug 2012, 10:43 pm

Personally I would prefer not to be the commonly percieved "Manly Man", as that "Manly Man" is somewhat of a bully-ish character.



MakaylaTheAspie
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01 Aug 2012, 11:53 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
No I don't give a crap about it.


This.

I may also add that people are remembered for how they're different - not similar to - other people. I'd rather be remembered for what I liked to do instead of hearing about what plenty other girls out there do with their lives.


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