Afraid of everything. RANT

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I'm 15 and have recently been diagnosed, I seek advice :/I am hopelessly afraid and have anxiety toward dying in my sleep, having a heart attack, developing a health problem that can shortly lead to death, death in general, hallucinating, developing alzheimers and being afraid and alone, and also going insane and losing myself etc. So afraid that it causes me panic attacks. I have to do certain things in order to let myself fall asleep, probably stemming from my mother's death in a sleep like state last year. I'm much to aware of all of my surroundings and it's terribly annoying. I try to think happy thoughts and 'be normal' but I just have these constant fears that keep me worried about everything I do. Ever since my first panic attack, after smoking with my friend at a sleepover, I pathetically thought I was having a heart attack- I can't think straight anymore. It's a fear of fear, advice on how to calm down?
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on another note, now that I'm typing, i feel like my awkwardness and knowing how to talk to people, even my boyfriend is getting worse and worse and hander and harder ;-; help i feel like I'm going to eventually lose my mind and live a sad and confused life with no thought.

I always tell myself that I'm going to die eventually, just not today. Death is going to happen to even the best of us. That made me feel better when I had similar thoughts a few years ago (after my great grandpa died).

You probably already know this, but hypersensitivity is common in autistics. We all have to deal with it (smoking is not the best option, especially for a teenager). Try finding things that soothe your senses, like rubbing something soft between your fingers or listening to music that you like.

Feel free to send a PM if you have issues.

Hei, welcome.

Go out and see many people if you like that and have enough friends.
You are still young. And you seem to pretty well know how to interact with people.
And you are a thinker.

Many of us make jokes about these symptoms like for example paranoia, maybe that helps to get distance.
And jokes about ourselves

The anxiety is some of the most annoying things that I know.
But, if you are at a normal state those symptoms vanish again. And you are at the heavy process of recognizing yourself as an aspie.
Then your mothers death, sorry to hear...
You have a boyfriend that is great for an age of 15, really an accomplishment!

If you are at that state, the symptoms worsen quite a lot (for me). Some even appear out of nowhere. And completely vanish again.

You are just incredibly stressed about your future, which you probably dont have to be.

The thinking is not going to vanish. You will be able to think over things, dont worry. Maybe you will be sad at some stage.
But then the anxiety problem has already reset a bit.
Confusion is quite normal I would say and you can probably accept it to a certain extend.

I would go out with people if I had more friends. Earlier, that has cured me quite a lot of times.

I dont know what you smoked, but grass and such can have quite a bad effect, at least for the first time or after a long time you didnt do it.

Normal smoking is used quite often as stress killer. And coffee or Coke as well(for me)
But even normal smoking has caused me sometimes to fade a bit out

Pressure in form of water is nice for me. Find a "safe" place and try to calm down. Watch television. Some interesting program where you have to think
or if you dont have energy just something nice

If you need a reset you can go and see a doctor who can give you a medicine to do that.
But for that I think others can provide you with more information if it is smart to do.