Teen girls questions

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I wasn't too sure where to put this forum either here or in womens discussion. I had a few questions for girls around 12-14, maybe even older. If you have had your periods, have you ever skipped 2 months? Say for instance either you, a sibling or friend hasn't had a period since June, would you see a doctor? Would you tell your mom? Aunt? Teacher? I have a cousin, Jenny, who's nearly 13 and hasn't had her period since June. She started at age 11. I was 13 when I started mine and never skipped, but I know we are all different. The thing is she is a exchange student living with my parents and I here in Northern Virginia. She resides in Seoul Korea. Her English is very good so that's fine for her to understand the teachers at the Catholic school she's going to. She came to live with us in March 2012 to complete 6th grade. She's 5'3 and probably back then around 120 pounds. She was a little overweight especially in her legs. But that is also genetic. Her dad is my cousin and he's not very thin, but not fat either. Jenny's grandma is a little overweight. Her grandma is my aunt. So from June-August when she went back to Korea, Jenny lost a lot of weight. She's now at 100 pounds. But the way she lost it wasn't good. She would eat one full meal a day. So she isn't eating enough calories per day. For school lunches, do you bring your food from home or eat the school food? What do you generally bring? Also are you cautious about calorie, sodium, nutritional info content in the foods? She is looking at that info already at age 12. I'm older but I didn't look at nutritional info at her age. I never had eating issues as a teen. She isn't bone thin yet, but the way she's eating she may be. So no periods since June, she told me she has low blood pressure 80/50, sometimes headaches or backaches, takes medication for constipation, hardly drinks enough water. When we went to ice cream or any type of sweets store she would ask the employee if the ice cream is sugar free or fat free. That's something that adults would ask I thought. Does she sound like she's borderline anorexic?

Fourteen-year-old girl at your service.

No, I don't think she sounds anorexic, although her eating patterns don't really sound healthy. The thing is, she probably doesn't understand that too thin is just as bad, if not worse, than too fat, which is what she's probably afraid of becoming. Has she had any problems at school, with people maybe making fun of her for something like her looks? Things like that can really affect teen or pre-teen girls, even if they aren't true.
I would say it doesn't sound like she's getting what she needs, considering she's going through puberty and getting headaches, backaches etc., and probably needs someone to explain to her exactly what she's doing to her body in a way that won't make her feel like a patronised kid. She needs to know that she's not making herself healthy by counting calories and so on. All she really needs to do if she wants to be healthy is really avoid snacking on unhealthy things like chocolate and crisps (chips in the US) and switch to stuff like fruit. At twelve you're right, she doesn't need to label check to be healthy. Especially not when she's growing so quickly. Getting things like your five-a-day and lots of iron is especially important when growing.
Really, lack of iron in her diet could explain everything. She probably doesn't eat much meat? There's lots of iron in meat, and brown wholemeal bread, spinach and proper dark chocolate (70%-80% cocoa type).

Hope I've helped, I don't mind you sending me a PM if you want.

But the 2 months of no periods?

Well, periods can be irregular as a teenager, even if they've seemed normal for a while. Stopping periods can also be to do with weight loss or stress, and lack of certain nutrients, etc. It's more something to ask a GP about, but it's almost certainly nothing really wrong.

Also, just for reference, we don't really have middle school in the UK...
Here, it goes: Infant School (Years Reception-2, ages 5-7), Junior School (Years 3-6, Ages 8-11), and Senior/Secondary School (Years 7-11, ages 12-16). After that there's Sixth Form or college, for two years at age 17 and 18. A Sixth Form only has 17 and 18-year-olds, but a college will normally have adults doing courses later in life. Some Secondary schools also have a Sixth Form, which they might call Years 12 and 13, or Lower Sixth and Upper Sixth.

Interesting Article..

Friday, August 26, 2011
Eating Disorders in Korea

Right now I am at work, editing this passage for a Korean EFL textbook:

Your friend, Suji, is eating only one meal a day to lose weight. You’re worried she will damage her body. You want to suggest a healthier way to lose weight. In this situation, what would you say to her?

This is being written for middle schoolers, because this is a huge problem in Korean society. Many young Korean women, and girls, are starving themselves to try to stay incredibly skinny. (And some dudes too.) Almost all the Korean women I know tell me that they want to lose weight and be thinner. And, as an American, it really shocks me. None of them are overweight. And Korean women, generally, are so thin to begin with. Especially compared to people in America, where obesity is a national epidemic.

There are overweight kids now in Korea, which is something that has never ever happened before. Koreans were generally much too poor to be fat for most of their history. Western junk food and fast food has permeated Korean culture, especially in Seoul. Kids are eating a lot of processed junk. I see some chunky elementary school kids. But, of course, anorexia is hardly better. And once those kids hit puberty, they start feeling really horrible about themselves in appearance-obsessed Korea.

A Canadian English teacher friend of mine told me recently that she had a 17-year-old student here in Korea who was on a special “diet” regime that involved only eating once a day. The student’s family checked her into a special “facility” that claimed, or was at least politely talked about, as being some kind of medical facility. And where the “treatment” revolved around coaching girls to eat as little as possible. As far as I can tell this is basically a place people send their daughters to pay to have them trained to develop eating disorders. Anorexia training. And probably at high prices. This is how Korean women are being reared to take care of their bodies, and think about themselves. It really freaks me out.

She isn't exactly sure when her last period was. She told me June or July. The doctor would need to know exactly the date when she last had it. She did have some fat thighs in June, but now it's much thinner. Basically she lost the weight by not eating full meals. She did tell me before this "diet" she called it, that she would eat breakfast at home, then her dad will drive her to McDonalds. She did eat much more prior to June. She told mom if she doesn't get her period this month that she wants to see doctor. Mom said that its fine to miss periods here and there. Um, at least 2 months without one doesn't sound good to me unless Jenny is pregnant or has some serious illness. Parents don't think she has any eating issues. I do though. She's not anorexic but the way she's eating can lead to it. For 3 months while she was completing the 6th grade she ate the school food which were ordered from places like Papa Johns or Subway. She never said anything bad about it. But apparently she hated the food. So now mom makes her lunch. She does go back to Seoul for 2 weeks in Dec then goes back during the summers. I wonder what will happen once she goes back home. I have to admit that a lot of Korean young people are too darn skinny! They need to eat. Is it really important to look like a stick figure??

Do any of your girls after working out (making jogging, walking, running, playing a sport, treadmill, etc) in the bathroom bring a weight scale to see how much your work out routine made you lose? I noticed that with Jenny these past few days. The exercise routine has been constant for 5 days straight about 45 min or an hour on the treadmill at a fast speed. She waits maybe 10 min or so after eating dinner to work out. We went to a open house for a boarding school and it was a family style lunch with 10 or so people at the table. The school serves food this way for lunch or dinner. There is always a faculty member seated at the table. I noticed how little Jenny ate compared to this other teen at our table. She would sit there and look so strange like she's not happy to be there. She's very quiet and when she talks you barely can hear her. I don't think anyone at her school currently can tell that she's lost so much weight in short amount of time. I doubt kids no older than 14 can quite get it, or since its a Catholic school maybe they don't mention anything. I assume by high school kids notice more if a kid has a eating issue. The thing is I'm not her host parent or guardian. Her dad is my cousin. My parents are the host parents/guardians. If she does have a eating issue, shouldn't her parents in Seoul take care of that or should me and my parents do? I know if she's sick with a common cold then she can get treatment here in Virginia. But a eating issue is a major thing.

[Not a teenage girl, but I work with teenagers in health care]

I would encourage her to speak to a doctor or a dietician about certain types of food and the importance of eating healthily, rather than eating less, in order to keep healthy. She sounds a bit paranoid about putting on weight, which is understandable at 13 when her body will be changing (particularly thighs, hips etc)

Missing periods is normal as a teenager. It can take many years for them to settle into a pattern. Some people's don't ever. They can also be affected by stress, diet etc. A period is not essential; if a body doesn't have enough nutrients it'll save everything it can and not bother with a period.

If she's been sexually active at all, she should take a pregnancy test.


Also, weighing yourself after exercise won't tell you much. All you'll lose that quickly is fluid (through sweat) Muscle weighs much more than fat so if you're putting on muscle, your weight in numbers doesn't mean much. Focus more on how you feel. I've put on a couple of kilograms in the past few months, but I've lost fat from around my belly (where guys tend to pile it on) and grown a load of muscle on my legs which will weigh more than the fat I've lost. I feel better, I love the exercise I do and that's the important thing.

Apparently Jenny has eaten more with my parents and I than at home. She told mom that she saw tons of girls here in the US that are skinny and she wants to be like them. That's strange because most Korean girls are too skinny. I lived there for many years. One of mom's friends asked mom if Jenny was ill because she looked so pale in her face. Mom told Jenny that she's worried about her and that she should eat more since she's still growing. Still no butter on toast at all. There is this popular Korean dish that is similar to Chinese food. Sweet and Sour pork. You can have it also with beef or chicken. She refuses to eat that, yet I have seen teens eat that at restaurants. There is also this after dinner drink that Korean restaurants serve that tastes like cinnamon and served cold. She refuses that too. There is also some pancake dish that is good too, none of that. So anything fried or sweet is completely out. What teen hates ice cream or sweets? She is watching calorie intake. But now she works out every single day for an hour on the treadmill after dinner. She runs for a bit then walks, vica versa. She doesn't lift weights. She still carries that weight scale into bathroom. I notice when she brushes her hair, a lot of loose hairs fall on my bathroom floor and its quite annoying. Mom told her to pick her hairs up too. But when I brush my hair I don't get a lot of hairs fall out. Her hands are always cold! She is constantly in sweats, hoodies or long sleeve tops. When she works out she never wears short sleeve shirts. So she hides her upper body. She isn't quite sure when her last period was, maybe June or July? She says that she will wait to go back to Seoul to have her mom take her to see doctor. From what I read though, some Korean professionals pressure the girls to remain thin! It's a asian thing to be look like a toothpick. What any Korean drama and you will see how skinny the celebs are! I still remember 1996 seeing Titanic and was amazed at Kate Winslett's acting. She's pretty to me but she's not a toothpick. She was maybe 20 at the time. But she wasn't like the rest of the celebs who looked so malnourished. Models in particular are too thin and girls shouldn't envy that. I never did. Jenny is a very smart kid in math, but that's to be expected in Korea. Koreans take Algebra 1 for instance in elementary school, where as here in the US we take it generally in 9th grade (first year of high school) I am way better than her when it comes to nutrition. You can still eat sweets, but in moderation I think. So no periods for at least 3 months, over exercise, hides her upper body, anemic perhaps? She takes daily laxatives too for constipation.