the victim box

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a couple weeks ago I was having a conversation with my mom, and she told me to stop being "in the victim box" and I took it to mean that I should stop feeling sorry for myself because I have aspergers, anxiety disorders and such. and so I made a conscious effort to stop. and since I have done that, more neurotypicals (and just people in general) have been interacting with me. I have also started noticing when other people get in the victim box. it's really annoying. and people do it about everything too, they do it about silly things like being in a bad mood, parents not buying you something, friends being irritating, etc etc, and they do it about serious things too, like poverty, social injustice, mental illnesses like aspergers, and other neurological discrepancies. my point is that, even if you have some hard things going on in your life, complaining about them is not the solution, it just drives people who might help you away. so if you feel you fit into the victim box, aspie or not, let me assure you, It will greatly benefit you to cut it out immediately.

Look up projecting

You notice it in others and finding it annoying because it mirrors your own behaviors you are not aware of (or previously not aware of)

Maybe now that you are aware of the "annoying behaviors" you will succeed in changing.

When I first learned of projecting it changed almost all areas of my life.

Quote:
"Psychological projection is a form of defense mechanism in which someone attributes thoughts, feelings, and ideas which are perceived as undesirable to someone else. For example, someone who harbors racist ideas while believing that racism is socially undesirable might come to believe that a friend is racist, projecting his or her racism onto the other person. Projection may manifest in all kinds of ways, and while it may be a defense mechanism, it can also be very destructive."

totally commend you for talking with your mom about feeling sorry for yourself. I am and aspie myself and am proud to be one.

totally commend you for talking with your mom about feeling sorry for yourself. I am and aspie myself and am proud to be one.