I've always kind of struggled

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Hi everyone,

I'm Jack, I'm 14, and I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was about 5. I'm having a bit of a difficult time at the moment, and it's making me realise that to some extent, I think I've always struggled with depression and anxiety. I felt different and knew that I seemed to struggle more than other people long before my parents told me there was a reason for it. I feel like I've felt just a little bit on edge for pretty much my whole life, and I've always felt kind of unhappy, although it's gotten really bad lately. I can't exactly judge what it's been like, because I don't have any idea of what it's like for NTs and how that compares to my experiences. I'm looking through everything through the lens of depression at the moment, so that's probably distorting how I see my life just a little bit. How can I figure it all out? What's it like to not feel anxious and depressed? Will I ever be able to just feel calm and happy, rather than always feeling fearful of the next time I'll slip up and destroy another friendship, or always feeling like I have no one in this whole word? Does anyone else feel this way?

Please help,
Jack

I understand how you're feeling mate, I've been going through the same type of thing, it will get better enentually, I realised that I was overthinking everything, worrying about problems that didn't even exist and comparing myself to others too often which would cause me to get depressed when I saw all of the things they had that I didn't (cars, jobs, girlfriends etc). I guess what I'm saying is that you just need to relax a bit, find something that makes you happy and concentrate on that.

Feel free to pm me if you want somebody to talk to.

I just seem to be depressed and sad for no reason. One moment I'm fine and happy and the next I'm crying so hard and meltdown-ing. I had a pretty colossal meltdown last night, and I'm still partly unsure why. It's quite aggravating.