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TheGirlInTheBubble
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28 May 2013, 7:29 pm

I was wondering, is 'borrowing' words, phrases, etc. something attributed to Aspergers? For example, I often use phrases from books, movies, songs, even from other people I've spoken to, to explain things, because often times when I try to explain things on my own, I often get frustrated because the person I'm trying to explain to doesn't seem to understand what I'm trying to say. I get so frustrated, I start to cry and then I feel so embarrassed.

is this an aspie thing, or a 'just me' thing?



Alynn
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28 May 2013, 9:50 pm

I think it's fairly common. I notice my BF does it a bit, though he borrows from sources so obscure it's hard to tell sometimes.

I'm currently reading a book on AS and long term relationships, and this stood out to me:

"You mean you don't see any future for us?" I immediately went on red alert with that high-pitched tone of voice that he doesn't seem to hear. He is always this condensed with his speech, but his answer alarmed me. He responded, "Of course we'll be together forever, but I don't expect anything in particular." Because of my persistently quizzical look (and because I wasn't going away) he responded with, "Things will continually improve. Our fights will dwindle and our love will grow as we learn to live with each other. Our marriage is sacred and I'm still thrilled to have you by my side." To the passerby, it might sound like he had a vision of marriage, but I could tell from his phrasing that he was repeating words he'd heard in the past. Silence. I didn't know whether to call his bluff on parroting words he'd learned elsewhere or just accept it. This is a common dilemma for me. I don't want to squelch his attempts at communicating, but I also don't want to accept others' words as his own. Again, he saw that I wasn't going away and he turned towards me. Direct eye contact - painful for him, but a generous gesture toward me. He clarified with something I know was uniquely his idea, an honest insight into his views. He said, "You've become a part of me," and the conversation was over."

(Ashley Stanford. Asperger Syndrome and Long-term Relationships )

So, I think 'parroting' might actually be a common thing, but I don't know enough about it to say with any sort of authority.



Sciuridae
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28 May 2013, 10:54 pm

I do it. I even take random, unimportant phrases from things that I've read and use them. (I've even done it when the quotes aren't relevant to my circumstances.)

Often, I feel that I can't adequately explain my thoughts using my own words on the spot, and that is why I do it.



Jinki
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29 May 2013, 6:11 pm

I do that too. I even keep a moleskine notebook with interesting phrases I've read and I add to them, in order to fit what I am intending to say. It often has nothing to do with the original context of the phrase.



Martian_Child
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29 May 2013, 9:46 pm

Jinki wrote:
I do that too. I even keep a moleskine notebook with interesting phrases I've read and I add to them, in order to fit what I am intending to say. It often has nothing to do with the original context of the phrase.


Woah. I do the exact same thing.



Nightingale121
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30 May 2013, 8:11 am

I do it, too when I am not sure how to say something in my own words and I think a phrase would fit.
But sometimes I quote from movies just for fun and when it just seems to be a good situation for a specuíal phrase from a book or whatever. After watching a movie I like it is also possible that I use gestures one person in the movie often used. Does anyone know this? I think it´s just because I am not always sure which gestures I should use myself and so I "steal" them. My family laughs when they see it but I can´t stop it.


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pixiedust12
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04 Jun 2013, 11:50 am

I borrow words/phrases/actions all the time too....I'm a bit (well a lot) addicted to TV and movies, so that's where they come from....it's a good thing my family doesn't watch the same shows I do!



alwaystomorrow
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04 Jun 2013, 12:55 pm

I do that a lot, and I'm always vaguely uncomfortable when I'm talking to someone who's in the same class or fandom -- what if they recall that phrase from the book we read, or if they've read the particular bit of meta / fanfiction / commentary / ... that phrase was from?

I also often need to write things down rather than saying them, especially when discussing 'emotional' content. There's just so much margin for error when talking. :?

(Caution: I haven't been diagnosed, and I'm not even sure I have AS -- I'm fairly sure I'm too far on the spectrum to be considered NT, but not sure whether actual AS or 'just' BAP.)



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04 Jun 2013, 7:22 pm

I’ve “borrowed” words and phrases from books a lot, but I think it’s for want of exposure to everyday conversation.


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Amberlena
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05 Jun 2013, 9:16 pm

I do that sometimes.