Afraid of cooking

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At this very moment my father is yelling to me the whole house (I closed the door of my room and try to sit as silent as possible, he is borderline personality, I have no idea what he is going to do if I say anything back) because I said "No." when he ordered me "Immediately go to the kitchen and prepare fish for dinner because you should know how to do it already and it's sick you can't!".
I was thinking he already prepared and ate his dinner today (like he usually do when he is home) so I was surprised. And preparing fish was never my duty in the first place (when preparing dinner is my job I just prepare the potatoes and salad - the fish/meat is already prepared by my mom and I only have to get it out of the refrigerator and heat it). I have no idea how to do it (well, I know how to do it - you have to cut the fish, get it into melted egg, flour and breadcrumbs and then fry it - but never did it before). I am so scared! The fish looks ugly, smells ugly and feels ugly! It's like an open wound on a dead body that already started to decay. I can't imagine touching a raw fish! Everytime I touch anything like that (for example while shopping) I fell urge to clean my hand a few times even if I touch the raw meat through a plastic bag.

I feel so bad I am about to cry (it is always like this when my dad yells at me). Is it my fault like my dad says? I am really that unexperienced in cooking and I am overreacting and everyone is so afraid of a raw fish before the first try or is it my oversensitivity to touch and smell? Or is it because dad decided to change my routine so suddenly? Or maybe I am so scared because he is yelling and I am oversensitive to sound? Or is is just the injustice I am aware of - I mean.... I don't even eat fish! I hate fish! And I hate his usual dinner! I hate potatoes, salad and fish/meat. In the refrigerator are some dumplings I was going to heat at my own dinner time like I do everyday...

1. Why is the duty on you now? Where is "Mom'?
2. Is the fish still one piece (all the fins and head still on) or is it fixed into "fillets" (pieces ready to cook)?
3. What kind of fish is it? If you don't have the name, tell me what color it is.
4. Is the fish frozen or no?

* Fish does not take long to cook - you usually can't make a mistake.
* It is not your fault if no-one ever taught you how. Your dad has a problem.

1. My mom was at work. She come back home 1h after the argue - at 3:30pm, the time she is always back home and at the time when I am always supposed to prepare potatoes for. The problem was that dad is usually not home till 4pm so they eat together at 4pm (I prepare the potatoes, mom does the rest) but when he is home he eats dinner by 1pm and he prepare it for himself and mom heats if for herself later.
2. It was in 1 piece but without head or scales, and without the backbone I believe.
3. I have no idea what it was but it was a big one (about 20-30cm long). Color? Hmm... is "pale" a color?
4. It was defrozing in the sink since the morning ( it was already there when I was making myself a breakfast).

The problem is not really that noone taught me. I learned everything I know by myself anyway and I am a sharp observer and smart so I could deal with lack of knowledge if it was the real problem. I have seen how my mom does it many times and I got photographic memory so I could copy it. The thing is that all the raw meats are just ugly and the feel of them on my skin (even through a plastic bag) gives me something similar to a panic attack. I just can't touch it, it is ugly and scary. I wonder - it is like this for everyone? That's true I am oversensitive to touch but usually it just make me uncomfortable physically and I can stand it for a short time. But the fish not only makes the touch uncomfortable physically but also make me instantly anxious.

Fortunately father decided to prepare the fish by himself (while still yelling the whole house for next 2h how "stupid, bad, lazy, ret*d, spoiled daughter I am") and all I had to do was waiting in my room till my mom gets back home and calm the situation (it took her 1h before the father stopped yelling and went outside, apparently feeling "insulted by everyone").

Try using big flat wood spatulas to hold the meat. Use them like pinchers or tongs.
Don't use metal or hard plastic tools, because you will still "feel" the texture of the meat with metal or hard plastic.

I find using plastic gloves makes meat feel very slimy, even when it is not.

It's not you fault loads of people hate touching raw meat.

Have you tried to explain to him why you won't do it and do you do any other jobs around the house?
If you don't do anything else then maybe that's why he gets so worked up.

I don't believe it's fair to try and force you to do something you find repulsive though especially if you get so upset over it because it's psychological abuse by definition.

I have a way of opening raw meat packets without ever touching the meat.

First I score open the packet of meat with a knife or scissors. Secondly, because you have to put them in plastic food bags anyway - I turn a bag inside out and put that on my right hand. I pick up the meat with the bag and place it in the frying pan. Then I grab the packet with some meat left inside, and I turn it inside out so that it's all in the bag.

Just noticed you feel unclean even with a bag on your hand. Use a thicker bag? One of my local butchers takes mince out of a tub with his hands and then handles everything else without washing his hands. Even the plastic bag he puts it in gets mince all over the handles. The place wins awards, but I went there that one time and I haven't been there since. Still, he didn't look ill from touching meat.

I love cooking. I'm fascinated and scared of it at the same time. I'm scared of deep frying things - I've never done it. I love watching cookery programmes, even though I never make the food from them. Probably 99% of people who watch those shows don't either.

If I try to explain anything he just say I always find an excuse. There is no talk when he gets like that. I can only do what he says or lock myself in my room and wait till his flustration is gone. Anything else just make things worse. He can't control his emotions and any logic won't get to him.

I help in the house. I do anything my mom tells me to (she tells me in advance what she wants me to do and till when), I take care of the dishwasher, computers, TVs (we often have to customize programmes, my parents can't do that). I clean the hall, my room and a bathroom and hang the laundry to dry. I make sure the refrigerator is clean and nothing there is outdated.

That's true I currently don't work (but I attend a school on weekends) but I don't see it as a big deal since we got enough money and we would even if my dad didn't work since my mom pay is decent.

The main problem with my dad is that he wants me to KNOW what he want from me and if I don't guess in time he gets angry. I know he is just afraid I won't be able to take care of myself in the future and he want me to learn how to take an initiative in the house chores but he doesn't know how to teach me this. It overwhelms him so he acts as he acts. What's funny I actually can take care of myself and when parents are not home for a few days the house is clean and I am not hungry or anything and my clothes are clean. But he can't see it because when he is home he see how I take care of stuff (I do most of my chores in the evenings, not in the middle of day and he thinks I am not going to do it at all) and he thinks I am doing it wrong. And also - he is the one who make the biggest mess and he never cleans after himself but gets angry when the house is messy.