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Horrid_Hybrid
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26 Jul 2013, 2:00 am

What are the reactions you get when you tell/people realize that you're Autistic?

I get a lot.

"Wow, really? But you're so... Normal!"

or...

"So you're ret*d?"

I'm 13 (14 in 5 days) and I was curious about you guys.



BirdInFlight
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26 Jul 2013, 5:38 am

EDIT --

I only just realized this thread is in the adolescent forum -- I'm 51 but replied because I related to the question posted. Please remove if you think it's not apt.


Just yesterday something like this happened for me, and yes, he said "You seem normal!"
In fact, he said he knows "some people with autism" and that "You seem nothing like them!!"

I tried to educate him by repeating what my own reserach has taught me, that everyone on the spectrum manifests/presents differently and women in particular often go unnoticed, undiagnosed or dismissed because they sometimes learn to present as "normal" -- I am 51 years of age and it's been a long, hard road of trying to fake "normal" having started out as a very not-normal young person and child. I'm so good at it now that I don't think anyone would believe me even if twelve top doctors tomorrow told me I'm on the spectrum. In fact I don't think even the twelve top doctors would see past the fake me...

I'm at present not formally diagnosed and I'm only "strongly suspecting" myself of being on the autism spectrum, after years of recognizing myself in the traits I read about, but being in vehement denial until recently. So I can't "tell" people with any certainty. But I can truthfully disclose -- if I need to -- that "I have strong suspicion, or there are strong indications, that I might possibly have some high functioning autism traits/be on the autism spectrum." It's a fair statement because it's the truth -- I'm not diagnosed but I'm strongly suspecting within myself based on a number of criteria which prompts me consider seeking formal investigation.

This was something that became part of a conversation yesterday, with someone who is just an acquaintance but with whom I feel very comfortable in sharing things -- we ramble in a forest park a couple of times a week. Something came up yesterday that got me stressed out (it was about someone to do with my work) and I broke down crying in front of my park-walking friend.

A stream of stuff came out about why I'm so pent up with stress about that other person -- I'd just had a really bad day with that person that same morning. Then I also mentioned for the first time, to my walking friend "I'm also in the middle of realizing I MIGHT be on the autism spectrum."

His very first words were "Don't even go there!"

:? 8O :roll: :?:

In my typical "no able to think on my feet" way, I didn't even ask WHAT he meant by that. I'm an intelligent person but I've always been really bad at having the presence of mind to react instantly and ask for clarification or respond with my best response, which always comes hours later...

Did he mean:
He doesn't want to hear about it?
He doesn't want to find out someone he likes and is friendly with is now "different" in his eyes?
Don't give yourself another thing to worry about?
Don't jump on a bandwagon you're probably not even part of?
You wouldn't "want" to be autistic so just dismiss everything that makes you think you might be like it doesn't exist?

I just don't even know why he said that.

Then the next thing he said was "What, did you just take an online test and now you think you are?"

Well yeah, I have taken the online tests, the ones I found on this site in fact, and they all come back in the "autism" range. But no, I don't base it all on a few online tests. My suspicions date back YEARS now, ever since I first started hearing more about Asperger's -- which has not always been a widely known "thing."

As things stand I still don't know for sure, but even telling my friend simply of my suspicions brought out the doubtful "Naahh, you're so normal -- you're not like some autistic people I actually know" routine.



Musicgirl
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27 Jul 2013, 12:05 am

Horrid_Hybrid wrote:
What are the reactions you get when you tell/people realize that you're Autistic?

I get a lot.

"Wow, really? But you're so... Normal!"

or...

"So you're ret*d?"

I'm 13 (14 in 5 days) and I was curious about you guys.

It doesn't scare you to tell people you are autistic? Do you tell people just to see their reactions, because you want people to understand you, or for some other reason? Did they treat you the same?
I honestly do not like to tell people I am autistic/ an Aspie because I am scared of the way I will be treated and that it will affect my friendships for the worse. I like how people see me as a person and I don't want that to change. Also, I do not feel like it is their business.
I do find the whole thing about people saying that a person seems normal or being called retarted annoying. This is because it shows that people stereotype based on what they hear when in reality like NTs, all people on the Spectrum are different.
Also, I hope that you have a great 14th birthday! :D



yelekam
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02 Aug 2013, 2:48 pm

I haven't really had a problem with the way people react if I told them that I am autistic. I live in a small town and was the first person in the area to be diagnosed when I was three, so word sort of quickly spread. So most people in my area know and therefor don't need to be told. Although there are instances in which I have mentioned it. Usually they either don't know what autism is or don't really care, some people are interested in it and I explain it to them, which usually I get a positive reaction from. There are some people who are ignorant and harbor negative views of me because of their ignorance, but those fools are usually to cowardly to insult me to my face. And even when talk behind my back they have to watch out for the people who know me and respect me, because they are willing to stand up for me.

I wish your experiences could have better. But I will see that character has effects. Be a good person, be knowledgeable and virtuous, treat others fairly, use your talents to help others, try to educate people on the truth, and those who have enough sense will come to appreciate you. The fools will believe what they want, but they think twice about how they'll treat people when those people have people who know and respect them.

When deciding who I mention my autism to, I typically first show my character, my intelligence, and my ethics to, that way they will remember that first, and when they know I'm autistic may associate it with my personality and see it in a more positive light.



MakaylaTheAspie
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03 Aug 2013, 3:22 am

When it comes to the people I know around me, they know me long enough to know I'm not normal or stupid. They just see me as different and leave it at that. :lol:

I have met ignorant people who would make fun of autistic people right in my presence, which I usually respond with a "What if there was an autistic person standing right in front of you right now?" The looks are both hilarious and saddening. :hmph:

My mom once had one prick of a supervisor at her workplace, and I was helping her fix an organization issue when I heard him making fun of autistic people. I pretty much just went right in front of him and said: "That's not how an autistic person acts, that's just a bad imitation of a seizure."

My mom didn't get fired for that, thankfully, and the supervisor was promptly replaced.

Moral of the story? Some people react differently.


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NickBlueCity
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09 Jun 2015, 3:42 am

I usually get "What's that?" but if they know what ASD is I get "But you're so normal."